Sometimes I wonder will I ever learn, I do the same thing over and over again and always get the same result………….in truth if we keep doing the same thing we are going to get the same result, I am a compulsive gambler and at the moment I keep doing the same thing over and over again and still getting the same result, as we know if nothing changes then nothing changes, just for today I am guilty of not trying hard enough and the outcome from my actions has created another world of pain.
Over the last few months I am sick and tired of listening to myself share as I am sure most of you are so for that I am sorry, I read over my posts, trying to stop, must stop, have to stop only the next day to gamble again, it gets boring, false promises, lies, not trying hard enough, giving in at the first sight of a problem, just for today I gambled, just for today I messed up once again, will I ever learn……..I am getting sick and tied with myself and hearing my own voice, I know what I have to do but at the moment I am not doing it, I feel the only person who can save me at the moment is God, God help me as no one else in this world can, I am tired, drained, upset and on the brink as once again I have messed up, I never learn and only have myself to blame as I always do.
How many times can I say sorry………..how many times can I try again, just for today God forgive me as I know you are the only one who can.
Maverick