Jenna,
I’m back too after my stint in rehab. It has done me good but the real work starts in recovery. I share your frustrations of the wasted years and money lost which cannot be recovered. I long to own my own home but have to walk this journey to hopefully get there one day. I am in a better place.
Your feelings and understanding of a lack of self esteem and confidence is the root cause for leading to gambling. But you have a wonderful loving circle of family and an amazing man to make you feel alive and good about yourself. You are blessed and loved and need to cherish each day and live in the present.
You are a beautiful, kind, loving person and can achieve all you want without gambling and with clear head space to do those things that make you happy and are free, it doesn’t cost a cent. But walking through this middle road to get there will encounter feelings of despair which is natural but don’t linger there for long cos you have so much more surrounding you to be all you ever wanted to be.
Be kind to yourself and not hard on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up, it is counterproductive. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be today and that is fine. Enjoy today cos it won’t be back ever again.
Big Hug and Lots of love,
Lauren
xxxx