Charlster, thanks so much for posting on my post. I am starting to get some theories as to how last night happened. I can honestly say I had a truly out of body experience whch probably only people who have done psychadelic drugs or been CGs understand. My body was doing something and my head was somewhere else, focused on recovering the money.
I am no longer in that place.
I wish I could buy you a coffee and help you out in some way. You sound like a great person with tons of self awareness going through a difficult time. My heart is with you, and the time you are taking to post on my blog and reply means a huge amount to you.
I am going to write a short piece on my blog now, and then nothing until I have achieved the tasks I need to do with regards my business so I can shut it down in as orderly an organised a fashion as possible.
Much love, hang in there. Great news about the rent. I truly believe that as I go now without gambling my life will improve. I have finally found the moment to stop, because of what happened last night.
Big love
Mav