I appreciate it! I still have so much to work on mentally. It is a continuing journey. Sometimes I feel I am just barely hanging on. Why do I feel a need to hang on in the first place? Hahaha, good question.
Through my recovery I need to remember to ride the waves of life, or let the waves travel through me, not cling to the last wave only to be smashed by the next one. I guess it is my lack of control over situations that bothers me. This causes anxiety. Then I self medicate to numb that anxiety. Gambling is/was one of my self medication “tools”.
My goal is to let go, but I still struggle with it a lot. All I want is some peace of mind! Maybe peace of mind ironically only comes when I can acknowledge and accept that there truly is nor ever will be complete peace. And that’s ok.