So I just went and deposited some money in an old account I just found, and an email was sent to my email and my wife found it. I do not know why I did it. I am glad I did it so I got caught. Now we are installing NetNanny on my computer. I think I did it so I would get caught because I was clearly reluctant to stop gambling. I know I have to. But for some reason a part of me doesn’t. I do not understand what is going on with me, it makes fucking sense at all. Has anyone here depsoited money, then forgot about it? When my wife questioned me straught away I did not know I had done it – and then I remembered.
I think I havr to be grateful. If I really wanted to gamble, I would have done it in a more sneaky way, not in a way that I got caught straight away.
I am very confused as to why i would do that.
What part of me is trying to gamble again and why. I do not want to gamble, yet I appear to have had a blackout. I genuinely did not know I had done it until Monica found out. This sounds like a cop out but is true.
I am very disappointed in myself.
I have an appointment with the psychiatrist on Tuesday of next week to discuss my meds.