Gosh Jay, I had forgotten that wish.. It was one I wished often.. To die peacefully in my sleep. Then I wouldn’t have to put my family through my suicide and the insurance would pay out.
I had forgotten it because I don’t wish it anymore. I have stopped gambling and life is becoming restored. I have only stopped a few short months but my thought patterns have changed.
Sure my finances will never be the same but this year I am having a stress free if very frugal Christmas.
That’s the thing Jay.. We don’t need lots of money to make us happy. We need peace of mind.
Make stopping gambling your number one priority. It is amazing how quickly your brain returns to feeling normal when it stops getting those highs and lows of gambling.
Acknowledge what you have in your life because many in here have found when the good times were gone so was their family.
Jay you can turn your life around. It might not seem like it now but you can.
I think Vera is right jay about killing yourself in a casino. If those people cared they would have banned you from their casino. They make their living on the misery of others . They have seen your story played out time and time again.. Why give them another second of your happiness?
I don’t know why some of us become compulsive gamblers Jay … I guess it’s just the hand we have been dealt with in life.
May I suggest that you give yourself a week in which you refuse to harbour any thought of suicide and during which you postpone all gambling . Concentrate on that wonderful family of yours who have stood beside you through thick and thin. Do things with them like go for a walk, go to he park, kick a ball. Etc. try to keep telling yourself you are giving mind a break for a week and then you will address your problems . Stop all thought of gambling and debts for this full week. It’s Christmas so you can do much to fix things over the next week.
Being really with their dad will mean more to your family than any present daddy ever bought.
I think you might like to read John Nobody’s thread on here. His journey into compulsive gambling sounds quite similar to yours.
You aren’t the first . You certainly won’t be the last. But you can stop and watch your life turn around!!
You will make it Jay. It is not easy but you strike me as someone who is not afraid of hard work. Rest your mind so you can think straight!! Put every barrier possible in place to stop gambling and try to do fun things!! Give yourself a week off ..