Hi it does not matter if you won or lost it does not matter even really how much you are doing. 2k or 20k the fact is you can not gamble! and if you do you will loose even more and eventually everything. I speak from personal experience. The money you lost is gone. It will never come back it does not belong to you anymore. Rather than focus on the lossses and the game which still seems so strong in your mind rather than that focus on quitting and overcoming.
Even if today you got lucky (thats all gambling is luck with zero skill needed long term) and won 20k or 200k that would not change a thing in the long term as it would all be gambled back. You did right posting here but come on you have to leave the game get it out of your mind and start being serious again about recovery or it will destroy you.
I am rooting for you as you sound terrifyingly like me …. and I do not want you to be like me. I really dont 🙁