Day #4 today. Was busy earlier so no thoughts about gambling. A little different now. Wife and kid visiting friends and am alone now. But don’t feel the urge. Will probably watch this new show I found about yesterday on Netflix “the blacklist”. Kinda amusing.
I can’t rely on my will power. I know that for a fact. Few people can, most can’t. There has to be a way to eliminate cravings.
Obstacles help and have saved me in the past. But every so often I would go back to my old ways. And I want to change that.
Like, I don’t drink. And I don’t have urges to drink even when I am at a bar or surrounded with all kinds of alcohol. It does nothing to me. Where an alcoholic would probably have a hard time resisting temptation. I’d like to get to the same point with gambling. I don’t want to go through life knowing the beast is lurking in the shadows of my subconsciousness and to fear when it will strike again.
I don’t even remember how it was to be a non-gambler, I’ve been gambling too long, since I was a kid. But I know there are people out there who never gambled and are fine with that. They don’t have to leave their credit cards at home, they don’t have to ban themselves from different casinos, they don’t need to play. Just like i don’t need to drink alcohol.
Granted they’re not addicted to gambling and i am, I know that. But I’m sure, or rather I think and i certainly hope, there’s a way to “reprogram” our brain and become a true non-gambler.