Dear kpat
It is impossible for a non-CG to really understand how you feel – I think your husband is still learning how to cope and he will say the wrong things sometimes because that’s what we do! I spent 25 years saying and doing all the wrong things for all the right reasons, we need guidance and support too and we don’t always know where to find it. When my CG determined to control his addiction, I asked him to help me so that I wouldn’t put my great foot in it and it was one of the best things I ever did. Keep communication open with your husband, letting him know what does and does not help.
I think you did win when the scratch card caused you to feel terrible, you had a slip and fortunately it hurt which hopefully will make you more determined.
Consumerism is trying to hijack Christmas and sadly many thousands of families will feel the misery of debt – on top of that those who would encourage you to give in to your addiction will be doing their damndest to relieve you of any money and hope you have. Having read all your thread tonight I know that you are aware of the true meaning of Christmas – love is more important than any present and that includes loving yourself. You described a wonderful day in Orlando earlier in your thread, hang in there kpat because there are many, many more wonderful days to be had in control of your addiction.
I think this is a particularly tough time for a CG so keep posting, I know it takes tremendous courage to control your addiction but I know you can do it.
Thinking about you at this special time
Velvet
