how do people cope with feeling low? I feel like the whole world is against me and im on my own, nobody understand me or treats me with respect. I feel like im looked down on by everyone and I cant manage to get myself out this way of thinking. I just feel like im fighting a losing battle with everyone at the moment even myself. I don’t know how much has changed over the past month or two apart from im more aware of myself and the feelings im having. Im angry, really angry all the time, just fed up with people making me feel worthless and like im not a human being. I know because im in a hole that gambling that everything probably feels magnified 100 times. I just feel like its getting all too much for me, im trying to please everyone around me and its just not possible. Im trying to have a life but its not working because of all this history with money and gambling. I don’t know how to deal with all this. I was due to see a psychologist and got an appointment that I over a month for to turn up and be told they couldn’t see me, I just feel like im taking steps back all the time. I only work part time and I have far too much spare time, which everyone thinks its my choice and that I don’t want to work full time. ive been looking for jobs constantly and college courses just to try get a change in my life. I also try work with my brothers business which my family feel I should do at every opportunity but I don’t speak to him, I sit in silence scared to say 1 word because he just shouts or makes you feel stupid. Im really trying to remove myself from everything I done in my life when gambling because I feel this is all part of the problem. Just big bullies who think there always right and want to feel bigger and better than you bringing you down. Yet to please everyone in my family they feel like this is all ive got so should just take it and deal with it. I don’t think its fair. I want to do something with my life. My dad speaks to me like crap, like im 12 years old. I hardly speak to him aswell cause I know all ill get is a reaction and a fight and all im trying to do is talk, something he doesn’t do with any of my brothers and sisters because he respects them. I just feel rubbish. I snapped today and had a huge fight with my dad cause I couldn’t take no more. He stormed out cause he couldn’t talk to me as usual. it was over money and it made me feel like I just couldn’t do anything and I went gambling for a bit, losing of course it made me feel 10 times worst. I just don’t know what im doing anymore, nothing makes sense to me and im losing the will to live with it all. x
