You know I don’t really know but I think she will return. I really see that you care about the people in your life, because you are worrying about burdening them with your debt .
This says to me you would worry about burdening them with something much greater if you chose to harm yourself. You couldn’t begin to imagine the trauma and loss it would cause, and how that would effect them forever- every single day of their lives for their whole lives.
Look at your loved ones, even those who you maybe feel alienated from right now. What value would you put on each of them? At what price could you live without them?
You can’t do it….money is a pain. It worries us – it makes us feel great when we have it, and less when we don’t. But we are still the same people.
Can you really see your family caring more about money than you. How about this ..why not trust one of them?
Talk to them. You don’t have to change your plans but talk to them first. Talk to anyone …. It really helps to put your feelings into words .
I have just met you and I would be really devastated if anything happened to you. I think we could become good friends.
Read lots of posts . Everyone on here has debts., but people get by..
Stay with this site for a week. Go to as many groups as you can, ring the helpline tomorrow . The staff on here are pretty amazing people, and many are ex gamblers. Talk to others .you can feel alone but you are far from it.
Decide you are going to try recovery for a week and see how you feel then? Could you promise me that?