Hi Kathryn
I am glad you are no longer scared and not only that you have proved to yourself how strong you are and how much you are in control of your addiction.
I think most of the whole community would understand your fear of confession and the imagined dreaded result of that confession but for you, more than me, it must be so much more difficult because you always feel your addiction will be dragged up again.
Non-CGs yell – it is frustration over something they cannot control and also because it lets out steam and although it doesn’t physically hurt, all yelling can hurt emotionally. I freeze when I am yelled at. Your reaction ‘used to be’ to escape into gambling but dear Kathryn, whereas I still freeze you have grown stronger and you control yourself.
You have changed your life Kathryn. He is expressing road-rage and you are in control.
I think that most of us feel sometimes that no matter what we do in life, it isn’t enough but what you do and did here – was enough. You are enough. Take heart from this and believe more deeply in in yourself and your wonderful control. To me you are an inspiration that I learn so much from. I have so much to thank you for.
I didn’t doubt your survival and I am not being complacent but I didn’t like you feeling scared.
What were you scared of most? His reaction or the thought it might send you back into your addiction? It is my belief it was his reaction.
Velvet x
