Dear (((Liz)))! You are in a tough position with your daughter right now. That was totally an attack on you when she mentioned in front of your grandson about how you “acted.” First of all, she is ungrateful that you would take them on a vacation that I’m sure you paid all or most of the expenses. Second of all, she should not involve her son in adult issues, in any way. He is a child with a developing brain of a child, no matter how smart he is. She should not have put him in the middle of her perceived issues with you. Like you, when my grandchildren are with me, they have to listen to me or there are consequences. I have to agree with Vera, that your daughter is taking the lazy way out by not consistently disciplining her son. She is not teaching him appropriate behavior for social situations or boundaries, or self-discipline. I would let the situation cool down before you say anything to your daughter. She is bound to be defensive about how she parents. I know for me that when someone tells me something I don’t like or is actually true and I don’t want to face that truth, I get defensive and think it’s the other person that has the problem. But then I think about it, and if there’s truth I can admit it to myself, and then do something different. Personally I wouldn’t say anymore about it to your daughter, as she already knows that your parenting styles are different. Keep enforcing appropriate behavior when you’re with your grandson. Limit your interactions with your daughter to a one day plan, so that you don’t get on each other’s nerves. The spa weekend you’re going to have to do the best you can to get along with her. Who was going to look after your grandson while you’re getting treatments? If he’s not going with you and your daughter, then there will be no conflict about parenting issues. Just my 2 cents (((Liz)))! Carole
