Today was a great day my ex and I took our dog hiking up to a waterfall and had a nice fire near by there was nobody in site. We were able to learn to be in each other’s company without resentment or the need for a relationship. We’ve known each other for along time and have been best friends forever so it’s hard for us to try and not be in each other’s life. We have extremely strong boundaries in terms of trying to be together since we both have alot of work still to do on ourselves so its nice that we have now turned a new leaf and can be good friends without expectations. We’re both really adventurous people we love extreme sports and hiking alot so he nos I’ll always join him regardless of where we stand relationship wise. At first we had a rough break but slowly we’ve both been doing some work to try and work through the relationship resentments and move into this place of being able to hang out as friends. I’m glad that I’ve been doing stepwork and counseling as its allowed me to find this place of releasing my codependency issues as I no longer seek out the relationship part with my ex. Maybe he has different motives for the future but I dont have any I’m just learning to be ok by myself and not need to be with someone. I’ve never phoned or texted him its always been him so I’m doing good in that department. I haven’t seeked out relationships elsewhere either I’m starting to actually be ok I on my own and enjoy the time I’ve had doing things by myself and healing in the right way. I’m really grateful for finding this place with myself of being ok. I was extremely suicidal for along time which seems to be very common in gambling addicts. I don’t even think it’s the fincial devastation that does it its the messed up brain chemistry that happens from gambling. I don’t miss that feel of despair at all it sucks.
