Day one again. I found a loophole in the gamban umbrella and dove right in. I was very disappointed in myself last night and this morning I came to the realization that the journey to be gamble free had become so all consuming that my life has become otherwise empty and lopsided. All my focus, every thing I do, has been to become gamble free, nothing more. I do not take care of myself or my appearance, I am no longer social, and I feel that this is contributing to my problem. If I have nothing else to be proud of or strive for then gambling will still have a hold on my life, its just a different one. I need more balance. I need more feelings. I am going to try to instill a little more balance in my daily activities so that I feel I am moving towards something instead of just running away. I dont have the plan laid out quite yet, but a balanced diet, exercise and some recreational activities might be in the mix. I hope that everyone is strong and feeling good today!
