Success!! I had a day at home and I avoided gambling all day. I did a lot of kitchen cleaning and some much needed vacuuming, and yes, sweet mother of pearl, the Christmas tree is down!!!! It feels good. I saw my family yesterday for 6 hours and it was bittersweet. I haven’t seen my sisters in over a year due to covid and didnt really try to. I see them and see my faults. They are all doing so well and I am struggling so much that I cant really say that I enjoy spending time with them at this point. It felt good to spend time with my parents though and that was the reason for going. I am glad that I went as I was occupying time with something more rewarding than fighting the urge to “relax , so this morning I wake with both the pleasant feeling of knowing I abstained yesterday but also the feeling of having done something that, while not all that rewarding for me personally, was good for the family as a whole. I am tired today and not looking forward to working, but I know that a day at home is a day of temptation and I dont need that at all. You are right, kin, when you say to run from the danger. I have been complacent for too long about what the dangers are for me and recovery. Being at home is dangerous. It’s where I gamble. I need to spend as little time there as possible during the most vulnerable times of the day. It’s my only way to chalk up 7 days. I feel once I hit 7 days I will have the wind under my wings and can go from there to even more days in a row. Here’s to success.
