Well another sleepless night… but I didn’t gamble so I guess that’s what is important. I could have, my family isn’t here, but I didn’t even tho the thought did cross my mind. Instead I went to an online meeting and stayed on FaceTime with my partner until I attempted sleep. Up and down all night. Reliving the misery I caused. Dreading all the embarrassment that I will undoubtedly will have to face. But one day at a time things can get better and I will keep that in my mind. Day 3 now I guess I do not feel any better yet but I can if I change. My family can feel better and someday I hope they will be able to trust me again unbelievably they still love me and want to just see me change. Please God let me get better. I am powerless to gambling my life has become unmanageable I can not go on like this
