Thanks to Lizbeth and P and everyone. If I couldn’t journal here, I don’t think I could have gotten through these last few days. I think writing it down and seeing feedback really makes my thoughts and feelings and goals real. As I go back through, I can see how I am doing too. Today is Sunday and the first weekend for a very long time that I have gone through without going to casino. I am filling up my time going to meet a friend and go to church, going to see my daughter and precious 5 month old grandson who is currently working on his top two teeth showing up, and then to a 12 step meeting tonight. Today I am smiling for the first time as I wake up. I am looking forward to the work I have to do to change myself, I have hope. It is all to do with the unconditional love I have felt from everyone on this forum site all around the world. I am humbled by the kindness shown and the honesty I have heard on group site when chatting. I am thinking this collective love is a force to be reckoned with and is making so much difference. I know if I do not gamble, I will not hit the severe lows I have felt in the last couple months. I know the addiction will try to take me back when I least expect it, but knowing this is here and I have the ban in place and goals in place, I have some hope now, I can succeed.
Hope, faith and courage to everyone todayif you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right
