Admitting you need help

Hello all. I’m new to this forum and wanted to share a bit about my story.

I’ve read other threads which resonate with me and I think generally there are a lot of similarities between problem gamblers. I’ve known I’ve had a problem for years and I’ve tried to deal with it myself, understand my triggers, change my behaviours, I’ve even admitted it to close friends but I’ve always always pretended that it’s something that I’m capable of fixing myself.

And whilst I have in the past gone a year or a few months without gambling I’ve always relapsed and felt the horrible shame and guilt. Each time I do relapse it feels worse because it’s not just the gambling that I’ve let myself down with, I feel weak that I can’t stick to things that I convinced myself and others that I could.

I had a bad relapse over the weekend in which I lost a lot of money I couldn’t afford to lose and I think for the first time in 10 years I’ve now admitted I need help from others to be able to recover and move forwards. Hence me signing up to this forum. I’m not really sure what to expect from sharing my experiences and talking openly with other gamblers, but clearly nothing I’ve tried on my own has worked.