Hope, I just read your thread.  Please do not give up trying.  If you read my thread you will see that today we are both in a very bad way.  I cried when I read your thread because I could have written your post, as everything you are feeling, I am feeling too.  Let’s not give up trying.  I have to believe that someday we will be strong enough to quit for good.  There are others that have slipped and now they are gamble free.  I have gambled twice Tuesday and Thursday of this week and I just started counting days the first of November.  I don’t know much about recovery, but I just know I need to quit.  I am really scared right now that I won’t be able to quit and  I can’t take this suffering any longer.  Since we are both miserable today, maybe we could start over again together.  Hope, I could really use a friend right now, and it sounds like you could, too.  If i don’t hear from you, I hope at least you know that I am thinking of you and sending you prayers and good thoughts.  Ignore the thread named Don, that was a mistake.  I hit the wrong key.