Well thanks. I can’t sleep. It is 3 30am i am on my phone in bed. Have to get up in 3 hours. How will I work? I
going over in my mind how I came to do it. It was such a frenzy. Its just so sick. On goes the mask of everything is ok when it is far from ok within me. I need patience for this to pass. The little families all asleep. Still have food. Fuel. The things needed daily but my sanity and savings are gone. I can smile at others. I can mask it. I have learnt to do this for the sake of others. Yesterday I was told i have a wonderful nature and positive attitude. I have become the actress. **** it till you make it they say. I know this will pass. I know it will be ok. It is just pain right now and you my friends are the only ones who know my true feelings today. Time will help me let go but right now things are raw and reality is not so pretty. I am grateful my family are well and happy. I need to be more careful. I need to not give up. If I could only stop my mind. I will get through this. Thanks for your support.
Chubby
