day 41 feeling pretty good atm glad to have got away from watching gambling type things on the tele again im feeling foccused again adaat. trying to be aware of the consequences that first bet would do to me i have a lot of bills coming up have to try and get my ole car thru the test etc pay car tax pay my friends back and my ma and then i want to try and enjoy the months of the summer lifes short im sick of just surviving i want to live life and i can do that if i stay out of the ******* bookies adaat. i have to put the effort in now i know i have a dis ease but this can be ******** if i really really want it im closing all the doors on this disgusting dis ease adaat. its not going to be easy but i hope and pray for God to guide me because i want recovery i loved gambling and give it so so so many chances but it let me down time and time again im fully aware now what it done to me and as long as i dont place that first bet i have a chance because once i place that first bet im gone its all or nothing i had no discipline i would chase and chase 1 bet really is to many and a thousandbets isnt enough. a day at a time i will stay foccused
