Cat, I had made the same request of my page and to have all my information deleted, and then yesterday I changed my mind, and took it back. I don’t know why. Maybe I am tired of the secrets. I just want to be me…good, bad, and the ugly…and not be ashamed of it any more. I think we are sharing a similar struggle right now. I think a job would help me, but I can’t seem to motivate myself to find one. I don’t think I am quilified for much of anything anymore. I like that phrase "give myself a shake" That is just what I could use.
Today is my MIL’s birthday. April fools day..97 years old. We went to visit her yesterday and gave her a nice outfit that she could wear today. She was in good spirits and doing as well as could be expected of a 97 year old. Then, something happened to her last evening, and she is not doing well today at all. Incoherrant, disoriented, seems to be in pain and can’t get out of bed. My husband is with her right now, and hopefully a doctor will come soon, so we will know more. I am glad we saw her yesterday, but i feel bad because the rest of the family were going to have lunch with her today, and she was looking forward to it, and also to wearing her new outfit and having her hair done.
I have been thinking a lot about gambling, too, Cat. I really need to refocus. To figure out how to get through this low time where change is necessary. I need to hold tight and find the motivation and desire to look for something of substance to fill this void instead of looking to gambling. I am not the first non-working mom who has struggled with having an empty nest. There are solutions to this problem, but gambling is not one of them. It is not the end of the world, and if I could motivate myself and change my attitude, it could be a fun time of self-discovery. April 1 would be a good time to start!
My husband just called. The nurse has called my MIL’s doctor and told him there is an emergency. He is not answering his phone. Seriously???
