Yes Libbie, always get back, that´s the key. I have stopped a hundred ***** before, but never for long. You gain experiences every time you try, and one day you might stop completely. I think that is happening for me. My cup ran over. Not saying I don´t struggle: yesterday I had a horrible urge. It seems like it just pops up from nothing. It´s been gone for long, you think you´re doing fine, and then suddenly it´s there again! My daughter was sleeping, I had just had two glasses of white wine, my boyfriend was going out with some friends. Home alone. A full visa card. Tipsy. Spring feeling. That´s the worst condition. But I just told myself no. You´re not doing that anymore. It worked. Still in one piece today. Day 27. Four weeks tomorrow. Started doing piano lessons again, decided to apply for for a bachelor in music next year 2014. Will spend the next year rehearsing and preparing. Feels exciting. I already have a six year education from the University, and I know that if I´m going to survive studying and working part time my debts HAVE TO be paid off, and the pouring out of money into gambling must have been stopped completely. Obviously my subconscious must have been working on the urge last night, cause I dreamt that I was winning. You´ve been so good paying down your debts Libbie! Going from 80K to 12,5K is so good!! And Libbie, you don´t have to get back to where you were. Where you are now is ok. You can create some form of meaning where you are right now. Life does not have to be one up going line. Wish you a good day. 🙂
