[Ze2019]

At the moment its not that I am thinking about gambling for more money or covering losses, I am actually just really angry with myself for putting myself through it over and over again which does affect my health and wellbeing and attitude on a daily because because I take things out on my family even when I know I am probably in the wrong. I can say this that the only gambling I did was online, I never had the urge of going to an actual bookies it was not my kinda place I preferred to gamble in my own space. I have blocked myself from all gambling sites so even if i did get the urge to chase past losses i know it wouldn’t happen because every single site has excluded me.

And by knowing this as well it makes me not think about trying to gamble because I know my details would be on radar for any of the companies.

I am just going to take baby steps at a time and try not to think about it too much but like i mentioned i cannot help but feel very angry with myself.

[Ze2019]

Thank you all for your comments and advice, it really is nice to have some support and as cliche as it sounds, although its not good for anyone to go through it at all, its good to know I am not going through this alone, the world is not just against me as it seems. Regardless I have not had any relapse to gamble but instead i have been feeling down about all the money I have lost and trying to figure out how I can earn or get the money back because now my bills are starting to get the better of me. I genuinely do not want to gamble again, it is just a disease that is run by the big players of the game who have nothing to lose and prey the less fortunate because we want that life!

I just sick of it and wish these gambling sites were all taken down would make this a much more better world.

[Author]

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