[witsend91]

Hi velvet,

Thanks for your reply. Its so useful to hear people’s thoughts and start to understand more/process/mull things over. 

Following me initially finding out about his addiction a number of years ago he attended 1:1 sessions with gamcare And blocked himself from a number of sites (not like the blanket ban I believe you can do now). We broke up for around a year at that time. Since we got back together I have not lent him any other money and I know he has been paying off his debts. Rather naively I assumed it was all sorted. It’s only since this ‘relapse’ that I understand it needs to be a lifelong commitment. 

Reading the great number of stories on this site is helping to educate me on this illness, but having never suffered with addiction myself I struggle to understand the mindset – it’s so black and white to me.

Will try to access the f+f group. Thankyou again  

[witsend91]

Hi Charlie,

Thanks for your response. It is useful hearing these things from someone else on the ‘other side’. 

I have touched on some of the things you mention with him but low self esteem is such a trigger for him and I worry by dwelling on these things to much I will send him even more into a downward spiral. I know I am not responsible for his behaviour and he absolutely should face the reality of his actions but I don’t want anything I say/do to make a bad situation worse. 

Its such a mine field and having never suffered with addiction I really struggle to understand the mindset … to me it is so black and white. I’m finding this forum helpful in reading other people’s stories etc so I really do appreciate your response. 

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