[wewinwhenwedontplay]

@ Losingitslowly

You have written some of the best stuff I have ever read on gambling addiction. I have been gambling since I started in elementary (on and off, and of course it got more serious when I got older and the wagers grew bigger), and I started looking into ways to escape the addiction when I was maybe 19 years old give or take.

I have to say, your writings are some of the best I’ve read. Not only are you very honest, but you are good with putting your thoughts into words and then writing them here.

Some of what you have written has helped me stay clean. I have only been clean since April 2nd, and I have to say, part of the reason is because I thought about some of the stuff you wrote when I had relapse urges.

I appreciate you and hope that things get better for you, as you have used your pain and experience to help others. Thank you.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

Yea, I’ve had that similar issue with the problems with self-control when it comes to gambling. Several times when I felt like I was completely done with gambling due to the damage and pain from the losses, I would impulsively/compulsively go when I had some money with a vengeance to get my money back. Every single time I’ve lost, and even if I did win, I eventually lost. I live close to a cardroom that has my game of preference, but for me, it’s not about banning myself from every single casino/cardroom, I know it’s more about self-control. I’ve had lots of consecutive clean time in the past. I remember my self-control was so good at one point, I went to a casino with friends who wanted to go, and I didn’t play anything, because I knew the first bet would be stepping on another path to destruction. I am working on getting back to that. It is easier when I have a job and am living with more purpose. I am currently unemployed and questioning my purpose so it is hard. I know it (my purpose) is not gambling though. I’ve done so much damage these past few months, it’s ridiculous. I am just going to stay away, be patient, take opportunities that come my way that align with my healthy passions, and go from there. Thanks again @ Losingitslowly, a lot of what you share is so helpful, especially since it’s honest and not sugarcoated.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

Hey Losingitslowly,

I am still clean since the time I posted the first post in this thread. I know that’s not a lot of clean time, but I’m working on it.

I have actually thought of some of the things you said in this thread during times I thought about going to help prevent me from going, and they helped me stay away, so your posts have been powerful.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

@ Losingitslowly

Wow, I just read your reply and it’s crazy. Your writing is so powerful. I am very tired and fatigued because I have been pushing hard to stay afloat financially (as in putting in much effort to try and keep from losing the little I have left such as the roof over my head) so I don’t have a thoughtful or lengthy reply, but I will say once again, wow, your writing is powerful. Also, I have gone another day without gambling so I now have roughly around two consecutive clean days.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

@ Losingitslowly, you are absolutely right.

Many times this thought creeps into my head: “The gambling itself wasn’t wrong, it was just that I lost, but had I won…”

That is always how the addiction creeps its way back into my life. I’ll start to think that if I had done something differently such as sitting at a different table, going at a different time, leaving earlier, etc etc, then I would have won and wouldn’t be in this or that predicament (I turn it into me losing being the problem rather than gambling being a sick addiction). All of those scenarios play out in my head.

I don’t know if banning will work for me. I don’t gamble online, my problem is the casino. I’ve banned myself before and when I banned myself I still drove to further casinos.

I don’t think banning is the solution for me. I have to get back to how I was before, and that is, being able to not gamble/ place bets even when the option to is right there (this is how I was for a good period of time, but I believe what triggered the casino relapses was when I got into stock/option trading). I also need to get back into the mindset that money is something that needs to be earned and it takes time to earn, because when I gamble, I always convince myself that I deserve better than to work hard for my money since I have had such a difficult life up to this point. I convince myself things like the casino owes me or I deserve easy money or my strategies need to work, etc.

Anywho, I am working on staying away, and think it will be easier to do so when I find some consistent means of income, as I am currently unemployed (and not getting unemployment due to them being “backed up”).

Thank you again for your response. It gives me more points to reflect on in terms of this horrible addiction and how to defeat it.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

Wow, all I can say to your response is wow @ Losingitslowly. I really appreciate you for taking the time to write that. The gambling has hit me hard this time. I am not able to recover quickly from losses as I used to be able to when I was younger. Because of this, it seems a depression has risen from the recent losses / the recent relapses. With that being said, your words are needed more than ever.

I appreciate you sharing your suggestions as well as your wisdom as a person who has been alive longer than I have. Everything you said is on point. The casino has no feelings, no sympathy. A person can lose their entire life literally to gambling and the casino wouldn’t care. With that being said, I know deep down that if I do not stop now, the rest of my life will be miserable.

My mind is unclear at the moment, so I don’t think this response is as good as it could’ve been, but the bottom line is that your words are powerful to me @ Losingitslowly and I needed to read all of that. Often times gamblers continue gambling because no one cares to try and stop them or to try and tell them things that will stop them. It is such a great thing you have done in using your story and lessons to help others such as myself. I can say I have not gambled since I posted the first post in this thread, and am aiming for that to have been the last time.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

I relapsed again.

I currently have no money and no job, but I made a few hundred doing doordash. I tried my strategy again with the few hundred I had made. It worked once but then of course it failed which costed me almost all the money I had made. I chased it with the little bit of change I had and lost it all.

I’m 30 years old with no money saved, no job, and a bunch of debt.

Use me as an example of what not to be like. My life is a joke, and I am a failure.

Gambling is a life destroyer, stay away from it.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

@ Losingitslowly,

Thank you for your response. It’s crazy that you said what you did about free will. Not too long ago, I wrote down /expressed that my bad choices have nothing to do with God, and they are my own decisions.

I am currently battling with trying to give up gambling. I will be attending a virtual GA meeting in a bit later on tonight.

I am also battling with trying to keep a desire to live. I am quite fatigued, but I did want to acknowledge you and let you know that your response consisted of some great advice. Thank you for taking the time to write what you did. I am fighting to not give up against this addiction, because it is a life destroyer. It’s crazy that I know this but still can’t seem to give it up. Maybe it’s my greed. Maybe it’s me tired of being broke. Maybe it’s an emotional issue. Maybe it’s the false deception of me thinking I need the high. Who knows, but I am trying to not give up on life and beating this addiction/state.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

To risingphoenix,

I want to thank you for being so open and honest here on these forums with your story. It has given me some more hope (I have very little of it these days). I honestly have questioned the point/points of living life multiple times in the past weeks because of how messed up things are, so I want to thank you for sharing. It lets me know I am not alone.

I have about 100 grand in debt due to gambling. Not only will unemployment not give me an eligibility interview (they keep saying it’s backed up because of covid and several applications/applicants) (I applied almost 3 months ago after losing a job due to an injury), I also cannot seem to get a job. I’ve submitted several applications and have gotten interviews, but haven’t gotten anything. Food delivery and taxi apps are also giving me a hard time right now. I am lucky to make $10 a day (so at that rate, my debt will never be paid off).

What hurts even more, is that I have nearly no one by my side through this. Several people are happy to see me doing bad. Several people I helped when I had, have not even checked on me. Several others are now treating me as if I am less than because I am struggling bad financially (sadly, many of these ones are people in my own family) (it’s like if you can’t do for them, you’re worthless in their eyes).

We don’t know each other, but know that you sharing your story has helped me during a very dark time in my life. It’s funny/crazy how sometimes, well many times actually, when we are going through the worst times in our lives, it can be a stranger who says/shares/does something to help us see/reach some light.

Keep fighting, keep staying strong, you’re not alone.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

Thank you to everyone for replying, and especially you ujju. I was just battling urges to gamble and came to this page and saw and read your response. It helped to counter my urges.

I realize I am at a point where I need intense help. My urges come several times within a day, and all it takes is me having a little bit of money (whether borrowed or not) to think I can go and win back everything I lost if I get on a hot enough streak. I know that that’s a lie and that’s the addiction speaking. I do know this is a problem though. Gambling has messed up my concept of money and what it means to earn it. People are starving and I lose several hundreds or even thousands in a matter of minutes. With this addiction, I admit, I’m pathetic.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

Hey ujju, you sound like me with many things you are saying. What you said is literally the same thing that caused me to relapse. I told myself I would try to win about fifty dollars a day using a “strategy” that I felt would work most of the time if not all the time.

I told myself that even if the strategy did not work it would not cost me all of my money (but I knew in the back of my head that if I lost using the strategy, my compulsive and addictive personality (when it comes to gambling) would probably chase those losses and lose more).

Well, it happened, not only did my strategy not work, it didn’t work multiple times. In addition to that, I wasn’t able to walk away like I told myself to after losing using the strategy. I ended up chasing those losses. Trying to win fifty dollars each trip to the casino actually costed me thousands and has me with less than one hundred dollars to my name currently.

Don’t do it, it is the adversary trying to lure you in. No matter how good the strategy seems, it is not lose proof, because the casino and gambling games were designed to not be able to be beat by a strategy. Anything you can think of (even losing several hands/bets in a row) when it comes to a strategy not working can happen.

I had people from Gamblers Anonymous (years ago) mention systems/strategies not working, yet I still didn’t listen and I thought my strategies would work. Save yourself the trouble, pain, headaches, and funds and don’t be lured into trying the strategy. There is definitely other ways to make twenty dollars (or more) a day like some sort of job or tasks where the money will be for sure. Yes, it won’t be as easy, but it won’t be gambling (and it won’t encourage laziness and more laziness (which is another robber of a quality life)).

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

Thank you for your honesty ujju. I too am dealing with the exact same thing. No one in my social circle nor family tree knows that I am currently dealing with a heavy gambling addiction. The ones who did know about it at some point (during times I’ve dealt with it in the past) think I nipped it in the bud long ago, but they don’t know I am still dealing with it now (some may suspect I am dealing with it). I have the same fear, that if I let people in my social circle and family know, some may cut me off, especially the ones who I borrowed money from (they are not aware that I borrowed either due to gambling losses or to gamble).

The person I keep in touch with from Gamblers Anonymous knows. Outside of that, not many people know. I have told some people who I am not close to because at times it is easier to express ourselves to people who are not close to us. Nevertheless, it is hard to share this addiction problem with other people (especially if they have not dealt with this addiction) because many of them may look at you like you are a complete idiot for risking money (or throwing money away) (especially with something where the odds are stacked against you like casino gambling or gambling in general) because money is needed for things like food, a roof over your head, warmth, and other survival necessities / things essential to living a healthy life.

Regardless, I think it is important to find someone or find people to talk to about it so it isn’t lingering in/on you alone. This can be others you are not close to, a counselor or therapist, a Gamblers Anonymous member, someone who has or is also dealing with gambling addiction, etc. And even more importantly, we must express our struggles with this addiction to God (He knows already, but it is important for us to be honest about our sinful addiction and important for us to truly repent, because we not only hurt ourselves when we gamble, we hurt others, we often lie, and we throw away money (almost as if we forget how hard people work for money)). After doing this, we must take the steps and put the effort in to live a gamble free life. The casino, the stock market, or whatever you are doing your gambling through, it has no feelings. It will take your money and allow you to be addicted to it until the day you die. If we are not diligent about staying engaged in the things that help us stay away from gambling (such as prayer, Gamblers Anonymous classes/sessions, keeping our faith strong, connecting with people of God who can help us with this), then we will continue to fall victim to this addiction, and like I said, whatever we are doing our gambling through has no feelings towards us when we lose all of our money there. I wanted to share this because I also deal with being afraid to tell some people about this addiction and am still dealing with refraining from gambling. It has only been 2 days since I last gambled (although it’s important to remember that even if one of us relapses, the clean days we had still count as clean days, but in knowing this, we still need to understand that it literally only takes one relapse with gambling (and other addictions) to destroy several things in your life (it can cause you to start back at 0 or negative financially (some have lost homes and have even taken their life after a gambling relapse))). Nevertheless, we can win this battle and fight off this worldly/adversarial temptation and live a life free from gambling. Others have done it and we can do it too.

• This reply was modified 4 years ago by wewinwhenwedontplay.
• This reply was modified 4 years ago by wewinwhenwedontplay.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

Hello ujju,

I wanted to write this in response to what your most recent post says. I too have thought about no longer living / no longer being here due to the difficulties gambling has brought me. Another similarity I have with you is that I am also in debt around 100 grand total more or less (to be honest, I’ve probably lost over a million dollars total since I first gambled which was as early as elementary (gambling for very small amounts for fun) (middle school is when I had my first real loss, which was somewhere around 100 dollars). It is an unfortunate addiction because I am not the type to gamble every day or every time I have money, I am the type to relapse every couple of months or maybe once or twice a year but those relapses are costly because I play until I lose every last dollar (many times I have had to use change for gas or food, or of course resorted to borrowing from people, which hurt me because I know they needed that money).

Let me say this though, no amount of money is worth us taking our lives over. If you think about it, we cannot take money with us when we die / go to the grave, so to give it so much value is deceptive in itself. Even if we were to leave a large amount of money for our loved ones for after we pass away, there is no telling what they will do with it or what can happen to it (they can easily lose it to some sort of misfortune, tragedy, mishap, or some other negative happening taking place).

I also wanted to add this. Yes, we may have 50, 100, 200 grand of debt (more or less), but if you think about it, if we quit now and work a decent or good paying job, we can have that paid off technically in a year or two, maybe three, and there are people who are doing prison time for 10, 20 plus years who can’t work a salaried/paid job/career at all.

Even then, money is not worth taking our life over, nothing is, as we are all guaranteed death anyway, so we must do what good we can while we are here.

Lastly, I wanted to reiterate that I thought about not living too as a result of the stresses that came about or worsened due to the gambling losses, but I also realize that God exposed in me that I cared about and praised money more than Him. I also valued trying to be a financial/resource savior for others more than I valued Him, and that is something in me that needs changing (that process may be happening at this very moment). I still have less than 100 dollars to my name at the moment, and ironically, multiple tasks that requires finances have come up, and I have not been able to do them on my own (this made me realize how much I try to refrain from asking others for help), but this has been an opportunity for me to realize that I am putting too much value on something monetary and temporary. Greed and not wanting to work hard or work at all for money has been an issue for me. Anywho, I think both you and I can see better days if we stop the gambling, and start living in more thoughtful, God driven ways. Be well.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

I appreciate the different words of wisdom and the insight that was posted in response to the initial post. I also want to add more details to show how much gambling can worsen a situation, similar to the saying, “When it rains, it pours.”

On top of me losing my job, edd unemployment is so “backed up” (I applied the day after I lost my job), that it’s been over two months and they still have not scheduled a phone interview to determine if I am eligible for unemployment. Keep in mind there are several people who scammed for unemployment by stealing other people’s identities and now look what happens when someone truly needs it. On top of that, I applied to several jobs since I was fired (over 40 applications submitted), got roughly about 5 or more interviews, and I wasn’t selected for any of them. In addition to this, the car I was using to doordash was stolen and wrecked, and if that wasn’t enough, my account with them was banned due to a mistake that was made when dropping off 2 orders in one drive set (a man complained to them about the first man opening the bag before I corrected the order after he had told me he was still ok with me bringig the order since the food boxes were not open). I also cannot rent through lyft to drive with them because of a mishap that gave me a past due balance of over one thousand dollars that I must pay off before I can rent again. I have not been approved for any other driving apps because apparently my driving record from the past 3 years is ok for some apps and not ok for others (such as instacart and uber eats). The only active income I have is GrubHub, which I pretty much have to have on all day just to get a few orders (very few) (because apparently not many people use it in comparison to doordash (which I can see now that I have delivered with both of them)).

All of that to say, again, when it rains it pours. I have less than 100 dollars to my name, cannot seem to find a way to get any money, and this is all combined with the fact that I screwed over thousands I had saved with this most recent relapse. Learn from my story. I am in a very rough situation and it seems as if nothing is going right financially. For those who have stayed away from gambling/betting/wagering/trading/ whatever you want to call what you know is truly gambling, continue to stay away, and for those of you who are trying to get a start on staying away, start staying away right away, because the sooner the better.

[wewinwhenwedontplay]

Hey MurrS7,

Once again I appreciate you for being so transparent with your situation. I have also relapsed (as I shared earlier in this thread) and caused a huge disaster in just a matter of days. I am currently dealing with that, health complications, and housing complications.

With that being said, I would like to challenge you and I to stay clean for a full year. I want to challenge you (and myself) to stay clean for a year, focus on our health, and acquire funds through work and not gambling. I have a strong feeling and confidence that if we both are able to stay clean for a year and focus on the above, many of our current problems will go away.

Please stay focused and remember that each day we do not gamble is a winning day. We shall focus on our health, our goals, and earning money the honest way without risking losing it. Be well.

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