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You are perfectly right Kin. For a CG , yesterday and tomorrow don’t c ount. TODAY is all that matters. Every day is a new day. A “first”.
The same applies to non CGS too, of course.
As the days pass we grow stronger by God’s grace.absence makes the heart grow fonder…she missed you!!! Or maybe she was given some advice to be kind to you. Women are strange beings!!!
Just touching base, Brendan to see how the “home alone” time is going.
Its a lovely Autumn day here. I went for a long walk a wrote a poem in my head on the way.
Walking is a great way to escape gambling.
Walking away from Hell.
That could be the name of another poem…Great outlook, AMZ.
Change the thinking and the action changes.
Sometimes we need to retrain ourselves by changing the behaviour first . Then our belief system will follow.
Well done on your G free time.
One day at a time.Your time and your money will never be your own for as long as you choose to gamble.
There is no such thing as “controlled gambling” for a compulsive gambler. Once we cross that line, it’s all or nothing from now on. That’s the difference between “gambling” and “compulsive gambling” Once we start we cannot stop.
The only way to beat the problem is not to start…..
Well done on seeking help.“‘Been there, done that” all too often Lee.
All I can say is, if you hadn’t had access to all that money, it wouldn’t be gone now.
Moral of the story, limit your access.
I know I could do the exact same thing in a heartbeat.
In fact I don’t know why I haven’t done what you did many times this year. I think breaking the habit is almost more important than overcoming the addiction.
Our mind set changes when we change our behaviour.
How was GA???Can you tell your wife about the urges, Mav or just give her whatever cards/money you have. The urges will fade when they have no outlet.
Coming here instead of gambling was a wise move.Well done on seeking support , Bee and thanks for taking the time to post to my thread.
I’m so sorry to hear you lost your son 5 years ago. Loss and loneliness seem to be common triggers for gamblers. We tend to seek “consolation” in the very wrong places and once the habit is formed it is very difficult to reset our patterns.
My advice to you would be take one day at a time, keep postponing the next bet, be accountable for your time and limit your access to cash. It’s amazing how little money we really need on a day to day basis.
I am gamble free today, thank God, but who knows what tomorrow will bring…New York is on my Bucket List too, Kathryn…….
Just touching base, DWG.
Are you still gamble free?
Thanks for posting to my thread and for the Al Pacino link. I love him!
Knowing that gambling is an illusion helps us to wake up. Staying awake can be difficult, though. I agree, we are all vulnerable. Any CG can find an excuse/reason to gamble again. We need to be a step ahead all the time.
Awareness is the key.
Keep posting.The First Step in the Gambler’s Anonymous Programme is
“We admit we are powerless over gambling”
This is the fist thing you need to realize.
YOU are powerless over your boyfriend’s gambling.
When that sinks in, you can start to set him free and begin your own recovery , one day at a time.
Well done on looking for help.
You will get good support on this ForumVery well done William! Why waste your life. Thanks for inspiring others here on GT. Keep up the good work. God bless.
Hope, I am not for one second condoning your son’s behaviour, but as a CG, I can feel the hell he is going through right now. I often suggest the “tough love” approach, but I would say to you “go easy “. He knows he is in deep s*** . Everything is closing in on him. In my book, you don’t kick someone when they are down. Not even a horrible ol’ CG. Is there any chance you can call a family meeting and tell him you want to help him? Without enabling him of course. A GA meeting might be what he needs…..haven’t read the whole history but alarm bells and scary memories went off in my head when I read your last few posts. As sick as this may sound, I had to wipe the grin off my face when I visualized the scenario where your husband walked in and saw the vacant TV space. I know it’s not funny at all. I could just imagine your son “lugging” the TV all the way to the pawn shop under his coat……Let’s hope the day will come, when you and he can look back and have a good laugh about this too. ….I remember coming home from yet another gambling fiasco a few years ago and putting my car on a “For sale” site. At 3am and checking every 5 minutes for a buyer!!
CGs just don’t think straight when it comes to gambling.
Your son needs help. I hope and pray he will wise up soon. Asking a CG what his/her plans are to pay off debt is the scariest question on earth. It’s like holding somebody by the throat and asking them what are their plans to breath.
There is a very fine line between support and enablement. I really feel for you in this situation. I am the mother of a “wayward” son who is definitely my ticket to heaven. I am also a CG so “tickets” are out of bounds.
The only thing I would say is keep the communication open. CGs have no boundaries when we are in action. Don’t hesitate to inform him if he carries out any more illegal acts ie stealing your property, he could find himself in the police station. CGs withdraw and become reclusive for many reasons. When I isolated and alienated myself from everybody, my prayer was “dear God don’t let them ignore me in the same way I’m ignoring them”!
Isolating oneself can often be an unheard cry for help.
Keep telling him THERE IS HELP AVAILABLE.
Show him this post if you think it might help.
Over and out!I can understand how you feel, Wisefox. I had a similar , sudden loss last March 2015. I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice to say , I just failed to function. I was in shock, as you are now. Stay wrapped up until you are able to move. It took me a full week. I just could not face anyone. That is where Support sites like GT help. A member here suggested I would formulate a PLAN to save even a small amout of money every month to restore my loss. I clung on the the word “PLAN”. Somehow, if kept me sane.
Roll on to September 2016…that plan is in action still and I have half of my loss restored.
Of, course if I had continued gambling, I would not be writing this post.
Take care Wisefox. You will recover. Shock wears off and in time you will come back to yourself and hopefully, set down your own PLAN. It saved me when I was at a very low ebb. Stay focussed.“things aren’t going to be the same anymore”…I know that feeling Kathryn and it’s often true. Sometimes we can’t undo situations. We just have to learn to adapt. I hope whatever caused your sadness, headache and stress has subsided and that you find a way to cope. Having a supportive husband is a help. Be grateful for that. As you know, I felt let down in many areas of my life but what do you know, things have changed of late. Maybe I have changed! He was always there on a practical level. I accept now that this is as far as our relationship will ever go. Some people just can’t support us emotionally and psychologically . I guess your husband is a bit like that too. Actions speak louder than words Kathryn. If we get the “hurdle” help when we need it, that is something to be grateful for.
Glad to hear the Revenue are giving instead of taking this time.
Life goes on. Everything changes. Thanks for posting to my thread.