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Емоційний сеанс. «Думаю, Чарльз отримав більше, ніж він підписав. Дайте йому премію за його! Лол!
Jonny, if you don’t walk away you will lose and lose and lose.
You hit the nail on the head. CGS NEVER win. If we could walk away we wouldn’t be CGS. Logical when you think it through! So, what’s the point in gambling?
Exercise, i.e. walking certainly helped me to avoid making trips to the casinos. Walking fills many hours. It helps to clear the mind and IT’S FREE!Good luck with the counsellor , Brendan.
Great!
You have discovered your solution!
Don’t handle money!
Lot’s of CG don’t, to avoid throwing it all away over and over and over.Hi Redare,
I just read your post . I have a “failure to thrive ” son, now in his middle 20s, who began to display the anger and blame behaviour in his mid teens . At the time I put it down to “bad company”, a “phase he will pass through” etc etc. Long story short, he never changed.
He is not a gambler. He has “other issues”.
In this case, I am the CG.
Reading your post about him coming home full of anger , put the heart crossways in me, because that is exactly what my son has done over and over for ten years. He would cause chaos at home. Because I was the only person who challenged him , I was always blamed and he succeeded in turning the family against me every time he had a “flare up”. It always ended with me running to the casino and he would then put his feet up , turn on the TV and enjoy all the homecooking while I stuffed my emotions and money into slot machines. Turned out of my own home by a bully! How crazy is that!
The reason I am telling you all this, is to point out that some of your son’s behaviour may be due to gambling. Other aspects may not. I know lots of CGs who created situations (rows) with family as an excuse to run and gamble ( I did my share of that) but not every CG is aggressive and threatening like your son and mine. Gambling is no excuse for bad behaviour and by saying it is, directly excuses this behaviour.
Mothers pick up the tab for their “children” far too quickly. Of course I used to blame my gambling for my son’s behaviour but when I thought of it rationally, I am NOT to blame when he comes home, bullying and terrorizing everybody. He is a bully and bullies use the classic “divide and conquer” method to isolate family members, turning one against the other, and will always have a scapegoat.
From what you say, you are your son’s scapegoat as I was and still am potentially for mine.
I used to text my son every night too. Seldom got a reply. I used to beg him to come home. It always ended in uproar. I used to go to places he lived/worked just to see from a distance if he was wearing warm clothes, shoes in case he was neglecting himself. I gave him money which was never fully paid back. I used to meet him in neutral venues. More often than not there was a mix up with time or place (always my fault of course) Always ended with him causing a dreadful scene. I talked to him. Pleaded. Appealed to his better nature. I offered to pay for anger management for him. Another flop. He has his father so scared that he defends him and his brother hates conflict so he is an easy target. Like you, I am the punchbag and for as long as I continue to play this part, my son will have a licence to act out and treat me badly. The only person I can change is myself.
Changing the dynamic can make a huge difference. These days, I limit my contact with my son. I send only occasional texts and calls. (Mainly no reply.) If and when he does condescend to make contact, I tell him I am delighted to hear from him (true) Ask a few basic questions ( to avoid being accused of “pressing the wrong buttons”) Invite him home (saying T and Cs apply). Arrange short visits only. Always try to have extra people here to prevent him isolating me . Ask his father NOT to make any arrangements for home visits behind my back. Have my finger on the “end call” button or my bedroom door key ready ( to lock myself in) if he starts his antics in the home. I have also stopped covering up for him to the extended family. If they ask “where/how is %”, I tell it as it is.
What will be the end of all this? Nobody knows! In my case I cannot allow my son to push me back into gambling to escape his totally unacceptable behaviour. That’s my only certainty. I can’t change him. I can’t change others’ reaction to how he behaves. ( I tried)
You , too will have to devise a strategy to protect yourself, keeping in mind that gambling may be playing a part in your son’s carry on. Of course he is angry with you. You played a part in spoiling his fun. While he is sorting himself out, I would suggest you give him a very wide berth and not jump to attention every time he wants to call the shots or attempts to control / manipulate you.
Do not let him ruin your peace .
GAMANON might be helpful for you . Have you tried it?what would you do with a big win?
I can tell you…
you would lose every cent because CGs N E V E R win
That is the meaning of CG
When we have money we can’t stop gambling
The only real hope you have is to break the cycle
Just stop for an hour, then a day…try it!Very sorry to hear that.
Admitting we are powerless over gambling is the first step to recovery.
Gambling ruins lives.
You CAN stop….Hi James and welcome to GT.
Gambling brings losses in many forms. The most evident loss is the financial one, especially when it hits suddenly.
If it is any consolation, I can tell you, that like you I experienced a sudden loss in March 2015. I had become immune to the ongoing losses for approximately 15 years , but when a large sum of money that I BADLY needed for other purposes vanished before my eyes, I was plunged into deep shock. I was devastated to the point of numbness. Exactly as you describe. NUMB! At the time, a fellow GT user came to my aid and suggested I would put a PLAN in place to restore my finances. I clung on to that word “Plan” . It saved me!
Fast forward to October 2016 and I now look at that Restoration Fund/Plan and see a healthy four figure sum mounting. I have a long way to go to make up the total loss and I have a lot of surplus gambling debt which is under control and reducing gradually.
The PLAN gave me hope James, and hope is what we need when we are close to despair.
Yes, money comes and goes and you will restore your loss but for the immediate treatment for shock (and it is a big shock) I suggest you make a plan…..
The other losses will become evident as time passes.
Turning our back on gambling is the only way we can be sure the same thing does not recur .
Well done on reaching out for help.
‘Hope this answers your question
“How do people deal with huge gambling losses?”
That line stood out to me in your post.Try to hang in. There is a Live Group starting in a few minutes .One hour at a time….
Hi Lees
Just touching base , to see how you’re getting on?
Any payday, since?
Hope you have barriers to prevent you losing your salary.
After a few months pay day will be just like any other day. Give us an update when you have time.I hope I’m not butting in or adding any negativity to your “Positivity” Thread, I -did-it”, but I can’t resist saying I often wondered who that “beast in the corner” was too. To me “he/she” was always a bit of a cop out. The only “beasts” I ever met were the ones sitting in front of slot machines self destructing and I was the biggest of the lot!!!!
Would need to think about the other comments. Some make sense to me.
I’m delighted you were granted the privacy and dignity that all human beings deserve, (even the nasty ol’ CGS lol!!)Hi Lauw!
You didn’t make two mistakes.
You only made one !
Any CG who can access €700 is making a BIG mistake, because whether it takes two hours, two days or two weeks, the money will ALWAYS vanish in a casino.
I’m very sorry for your loss. I really am. I’ve been in your situation many many times. The shock is something we all recover from eventually. In the meantime, please learn from this mistake and never allow yourself to have large amounts of money available unless you are prepared to kiss them goodbye!
Well done on posting."Potholes" foi o tópico da noite passada. Buracos potenciais e óbvios são fáceis de lidar. São os inesperados que nos tiram da estrada. Acerte um em uma noite escura e você pode acabar com um pneu estourado. Seguindo o Grupo da noite passada, recebi um pedido de um amigo para comparecer a uma reunião em seu nome para fazer anotações em uma palestra. Eu disse sim. Significa pular minha reunião da GA de terça-feira. Também significa ir para uma cidade que tem um cassino a 3 minutos a pé. Um que eu freqüentava com frequência. Para evitar esse "buraco", preciso fazer duas coisas. Permita-me tempo suficiente para assistir à palestra e deixar meu dinheiro e cartão do caixa eletrônico em casa. No passado, essa teria sido uma oportunidade ideal para jogar.
"Baches" fue el tema de anoche. Los baches potenciales y obvios son fáciles de tratar. Son los inesperados los que nos desvían del camino. Golpea uno en una noche oscura y puedes terminar con un neumático reventado. Después del grupo de anoche, un amigo me pidió que asistiera a una reunión en su nombre para tomar notas de una charla. Dije si. Significa saltear mi reunión de la Asamblea General del martes. También significa ir a una ciudad que tiene un casino a 3 minutos a pie. Uno que frecuentaba a menudo. Para evitar este "bache" necesito hacer dos cosas. Permítame el tiempo suficiente para asistir a la charla y dejar mi dinero y mi tarjeta de cajero automático en casa. En el pasado, esta habría sido una oportunidad ideal para apostar.
"Ổ gà" là Chủ đề của đêm qua. Dễ dàng xử lý các ổ gà tiềm ẩn, rõ ràng. Đó là những thứ bất ngờ ném chúng ta ra khỏi con đường. Đánh một quả vào đêm tối và bạn có thể bị nổ lốp. Theo dõi Nhóm tối hôm qua, tôi có yêu cầu từ một người bạn thay mặt anh ấy tham gia một cuộc họp để ghi chép về một bài nói chuyện. Tôi nói có. Nó có nghĩa là bỏ qua Cuộc họp GA thứ Ba của tôi. Nó cũng có nghĩa là đi đến một thị trấn có sòng bạc cách đó 3 phút đi bộ. Một nơi mà tôi thường xuyên lui tới. Để tránh "ổ gà" này tôi cần làm hai điều. Cho phép bản thân có đủ thời gian để tham dự buổi nói chuyện và để tiền và thẻ ATM ở nhà. Trong quá khứ, đây sẽ là một cơ hội lý tưởng để đánh bạc.