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It’s your life, Maverick.
As you say , you know what you have to do .
Alas, SOMETHING is still preventing you from doing it .
Until you root out that “something”, the best you can do , is learn to roll with the punches. When the hangover/pain becomes greater than the thrill, then everything will fall into place.
We need to put as much work into recovery as we did into gambling.
Put on a new mindset.
Thanks for posting on my Thread.
2010 was also a G free year for me.
Early in January 2011 I walked through a casino, got the whiff of the machines’ Stuck a few crisp notes in the slot machine and I was off. Got lucky. Shared some with the few desperados who looked on open mouthed.
A few hours later I walked out of that hellhole almost broke.
What is the EARTHLY point in torturing ourselves over and over, I ask? and to be honest, Mav I could repeat that madness next week in the blink of an eye.
Don’t put me on a pedestal . I’m not an inspiration. I’m really not. I’m just a burned out fake CG who gets it right occasionally.
I am TOTALLY powerless over gambling.
My only hope is never to put myself in the firing line again.
You’re a young man, Mav with so much to give and so much to live for. I don’t believe I have another recovery in me, but you have!
I hope and pray you will get through 2017 G free.
I believe you can do it. One day at a time. Never give up!
Keep praying!
God is good! Don’t try to outwit this addiction. As CGs , we haven’t a hope in hell.
CGs NEVER win.what’s happening Micky????
Well done on your honesty, 3raser. You learned a tough lesson. I have been there many, many times. Thinking that winning back what I lost was justification for my “slip”. The reality is, of course, that we would have been better to lose the lot in one foul swoop. We know that in the end a CG NEVER wins.
Nobody can take your 14 G free days from you. Remember that!
Maybe see you in a Group at 8pm?Thanks for highlighting the comments made in the previous post, I -did- it. Maybe I’m being oversensitive, but Christmas is a time when most families get together and we try to accept each other as we are. As a CG, Christmas was often a time when I over reacted i.e. an argument would flare up and I would escape to the casino, not because I provoked that argument (I often did that at other times, I do admit) but because it suited others to see me as a scapegoat for their own defects and I would over react , feeling dejected after all the effort I had made to ensure Christmas would be normal/happy/delightful for everyone and my perception (rightly or wrongly) would be that all my attempt was being slapped back in my face by one family member in particular, who has their own “issues” and who saw the opportunity to project those issues on to others. Because of my “previous history” I would be scapegoated and let down by other family members and as a result would end up in the casino. ( Yes, we CG mothers do put up a super human effort to make Christmas good for everyone!)
This year things were different because that family member did a “no show” , so maybe this proves that the CG is NOT after all, the cause of every ones’ problems. Maybe wider issues also play a part. It gives non CGS a great excuse when there is a “sitting duck” present who will pick up the flack for everyone else. No, this is not a “poor me” post. I don’t blame anyone for my gambling , nor do I project my “issues” on to others, but I’m aware now that I was that “sitting duck ” for years. This Christmas the focus shifted and I made no exit to the casino.
I use this personal example to highlight that it is not only the CG who is the baddie and the cause of all the family discord which erupts in families over Christmas. Every one has his/her own defects. If we were all as perfect and as innocent as non CGs are painted in the aforementioned post, God need never have sent Hs Only Son to redeem us, but not all believe that He did. Some see GT or GA as the Higher Power but in my experience that type of power in the wrong hands can do more harm than a million CGs in action.
Recovery, in my book is all about Awareness, Surrender, Acceptance, Honesty, Humility, not about collusion, rejection, blame , projection and cover ups.
CGS and Non CGS alike have a part to play in each others recovery. I do notice that this thread has invited comments from non CGS so if I’m intruding, feel free to rap my knuckles!
As A CG I have suffered my share of self deprecation, self crucifixion and self blame.
Nobody made me gamble.
Nobody had the power to stop me. It is only my God’s Grace and my co operation with His Grace, through human contact and understanding that I have been “clean” for all of 2016.
The last thing a CG needs is to feel rejected, ostracized or isolated.We have done that to ourselves over and over so this Christmas I refuse to pick up tabs that other people lay at my feet.
In a recent Link I received, the author/speaker highlights the emptiness that exists in “addicts” and suggests a whole new approach to sobriety. He says that the answer could lie in emotional re connection and cites the Portuguese model, since most have been at some point in our lives rejected , neglected or abused at a deep emotional level and the on going need to escape from this emptiness exists in every sufferer, not just in those whose suffering is manifested in obvious acting out behaviour i. e drugs, alcohol and gambling. It is a not so new but interesting slant.
We are all damaged in some way. The way we deal with issues, our own and others, is very often a reflection of how we are treated by loved ones. The last thing a CG needs is further rejection or blame.
Perhaps Christmas could be a good time to examine our actions and reactions and make an effort to find ways to fill the emptiness that exists in us all . CGs and on CGs alike.HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL!
So sorry to hear about your symptoms Bettie. Health is wealth. Its very scary being unwell . I hope you will take it easy. Stress and worry wont help the headaches and the sleeplessness. Is Jen taking care of you?
Happy Christmas !Well done, Buzzie and thanks for sharing your recovery story.
I remember you .
Awareness is the key!….to you too, Micky. I hope you are managing to get around with the moon boot and that you enjoyed your Christmas dinner.
Maybe the reason your family don’t see much difference, I did it , is because you protected them I know, I did with mine.
All the suffering was self inflicted.
Those days are gone now, so just for today
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!There is no place for “ifs and buts” in recovery, Jay.
A CGs, we all messed up. What we have now is the chance to start over and try to do better next time.
Christmas Eve is a good day to look back on as being a G- free day, so Just for today, let’s store that memory!Great to hear you are more or less stress free this Christmas, I did it.
Gambling is the last thing anybody needs at Christmas, yet it features hugely in many “normal” lives i.e. big racing events on St Stephen’s Day. Never an attraction or me, but I know lots who look forward to those events. They are not CGs.
Curling up in a casino to unwind would be my poison (typical post Christmas/CG behaviour) but now that we know the antidote, we have no excuse to partake of the poison.
You paint a lovely picture of a glamorous woman swanning round the house, beaming at everyone or sipping coffee in the shopping mall as you decide on your last minute presents. (Do you have a maid and a chauffeur? lol!)
My Christmas scene is slightly different. Up to my elbows in the kitchen will be the Main Act for the next few days.
Most of the presents are wrapped. “Under the tree” items will be distributed to immediate family who are here on Christmas Day (I won’t be chasing the absent member).Turkey and ham waiting to be “prepped”. Cake iced. Puddings in bowls (All ready to re boil ‘n serve on 25th)
Hubby outside hammering felt on the roof of the shed before it blows off completely. (It was a stormy night)
I have a “to do” list for today and tomorrow.
No hair do or manicure included.
Oh! to be young and glitzy!
Beats being broke and shabby.
I have a wardrobe of clothes that don’t fit me.
Roll on 2017 for the compulsive dieting!A lot depends on how we change our mindset, Brendan.
Active CGs live in a fog.
Best wishes in your new home.Did your back surgery go ahead, Jon?
Just to say “Speedy Recovery”!‘Hope your flu is improved, 3racer.
Resisting the desire to gamble is good but CGs also need extra props e.g someone to hold your money.
Did you get the 100quid you were left short?Hi Robert,
It was good to meet you in Charles’ Group last night. I notice from your thread that you are in Ireland. There are GA meetings in almost every town and city in Ireland. Google Gamblers anonymous Ireland and you will see the list. Also there are numbers you can call to get immediate help. Give it a shot. You have too much to lose by gambling, especially with a new baba on the way!Be prudent, Kin.
Maybe you need to ask for more support and re- training if your employer is changing your tasks and your work load. Why would you walk away from your job?
A new job may not be the answer. Are you avoiding conflict?
Of, course I understand that you need to protect your recovery but will changing jobs solve your problem?
Every job has stresses.
Be prudent.