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Sorry to hear you are down in the dumps, Jon. It never rains but it pours.
It’s almost 7am here so just a few quick thoughts.
First, you are not a failure just a CG who didn’t ask for the “bug”. Failures don’t seek recovery, they quit trying!
Was your accident an Occupational Injury/Accident? Was everything documented/witnessed and did you go to ER immediately, and get copies of medical reports? Countries differ with rules and regulations but keep a clear weed free head on you shoulders and look at making a Personal Injury Claim. Where I live you would be covered by insurance if you have an accident in the workplace or in a public area.
3. Are you insured to work with an injury and so soon post surgery? Where I live that would mean a breach of Health and Safety regulations. An employer would be deemed negligent to allow staff to work in an unfit state.
Gotta fly now Jon…Look into this more carefully. Get legal advice before you do further damage to your back. Sounds as if you are blaming yourself and too quick to return to work.
Make your health your priority. Don’t jump the gun.
Gambling and weed will solve nothing.
Stay focused.Recovery from surgery and recovery from gambling both involve baby steps, one day at a time. CGs tend to be impatient.
Jon, I hope things will improve for you. Can you seek a second medical/surgical opinion?
Just because you relapsed in the past, doesn’t mean you will have future relapses.
Heighten your barriers.I would like to applaud you, Roisin on the above post.
As a CG, I can tell you that you are doing everything a gambler needs to have done, to delay or even prevent further gambling.
A CG has to pick up his on tab and will gladly neglect to do so, for as long as somebody else does.
In my case, my husband paid the mortgage , the bills etc which allowed me the “freedom” to dispose of colossal sums of money year in, year out and as my salary was very good, I also had great borrowing power. All this enabled me to follow a path of financial destruction, not to mention the effect it had on my physical, spiritual, psychological and emotional well being.
But, gambling is a progressive disease and
COMPULSIVE GAMBLING ALWAYS ENDS IN TEARS.
It’s difficult for you to sit back, I know, and watch your husband self destructing. It would be far easier to turn a blind eye, (as many wives/husbands do) sweep all the damage under the proverbial carpet and borrow more money to cover his tracks and meet family needs. That is how the cycle of destruction continues. That is what I did and not only did I borrow on my own behalf, but I coerced my husband and many “weaker” members of my inner circle to “cough up” every time I needed funds to gamble. The need becomes insatiable.
In hindsight, the one thing that amazes me still, is that none of these “enablers” called a halt to my “madness”. Oh, yes, they sometimes quibbled, raised questions and muttered but the power of addiction silences even the strongest objector. When a CG needs money to gamble, we absolutely HAVE to have it and will stop at nothing to secure our demands. In the throes of action there is no way you can stop a CG from gambling.
This continues saecula saeculorum, until “something” changes.
That “something”in my case was the recession i.e. I was refused further credit from the banks and by then my needs/demands (and debts) were so great, that no “enabler” could bail me out.
Everything changed in my world from that point onwards.
Every gamblers’ story is different , but the outcome is always the same. Tears, despair and as the GA books describe “Prison, insanity or death”.
Yes, Roisin, in the course of my gambling , I have witnessed all three.
I’m guessing by your name that you could be Irish. Don’t let this statement threaten your anonymity though. Many GT members, including myself, use “stage” names. I just mention it to draw your attention to the GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS site, which runs groups for both gamblers and “victims”. If you need to speak to somebody on the phone you will find a listening ear there and you will be directed to Gamanon , should you care to attend a meeting with people wo are in a situation similar to your own and who will speak and understand your “language”. Give it a shot Roisin. Make the time. YOU deserve all the help you can get because CGs and their spouses very often suffer “breakdowns” which could be avoided when we are given the appropriate help and support.
STAY STRONG, one day at a time.
Never lose hope!Could be you or I, Adam!
He’ll learn!!!Happy New Year Adam.
It’s great to find yourself just hand gliding into a New Year with no gambling regrets.
We all have long term regrets, of course but being able to hold your head high and have a little inward chuckle is worth the effort .
It will take the lust out of your eye by watching the “failure to thrive” idiots stuffing their hard earned money in the machines and losing.
Fair play to you for resisting, one day at a time.
Have a G -free New Year!Welcome back Seri. You were on my mind all week but I just didn’t get time to search out your thread.
I knew your dad was looking after you money but if he has a gambling problem, perhaps the pressure was too much for him.
Next time, try your mum!Just exclude mentally now and you will be a winner.
Just be careful. After I self excluded, I got itchy feet . Travelled further to find new stomping ground. Sounds like your “exclusion” is more sincere. Where I live , you can only ban yourself verbally. No written proof. No documentation so really just a way to slow the action down. Having an exclusion order to cover all bookies is a gift from on high!
Self exclusion is a brilliant move, 3raser.
The start of a New Life!
Well done!Well done, Jay. Your 5 weeks will have changed to 6 weeks by now. That’s how fast it goes! Hard to get around to post to everyone. Busy cooking , baking, visiting, eating, entertaining , cleaning up,-EVERYTHING EXCEPT GAMBLING.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, ONE DAY AT A TIME, JAY.
You’re doing great.
Stay safe. Keep posting.I notice a lot of your posts have vanished, I-did-it?
EVERYTHING OK????A lot of slip ups alright, Yvette.
I wonder what we could do rectify that?
In my case, not much tonight.
its 3am here.
Lets make a point of raising it in the Groups.
Don’t give up. Hang around .We can make improvements one day at a time
Slan for now
Keep coming backRead the post you wrote on 28th December, I did it.
The end of the year can be a lonely time.
I re -posted the poem I wrote on December 31st 2014
Have a read!