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How did it go Micky?
“Despite all” is a common catchphrase for many Compulsive Gamblers.
In spite of my several heavy losses, my many sick stomach , my high anxiety, my shock at losing my first 2k many years ago, I continued gambling.
Despite a friend stating at that time “Don’t look for my shoulder to cry on when your 2 k loss becomes 20k disaster.”
Despite his prophetic words (the 2k changed fast to 20K)
Despite the 20k turning to 200k in what seemed like the blink of an eye, I still gambled.
WHY??
Because I am a CG and no loss , no win will ever satisfy me.
And I was headstrong as well as “hooked” and I thought I loved gambling!
“Despite all” can become a form of justification for gamblers.
You may not understand this YET but at some time you will.
The ONLY way you will “win” is to deny yourself all access to money, cards and credit.
Read and answer the 20 Questions in Gamblers Anonymous. (Available online)
Admit you are powerless over gambling. (First Step)
When you set up barriers to prevent you gambling and take steps to ensure you CANNOT gamble, things will change.
“Despite all” will become “Because of all or due to all”…..( I have done) ,
I did NOT lose that last grand.
I did not borrow more to chase my last loss.
I did not lie and cheat to obtain funds to create more chaos .
“Today, I did not gamble ” will be your new catch phrase
To come to that point T, you will need to seek help.
Well done on joining GT
Try GA also , where you will be given “a bag of tools ” with instructions that will explain why you need never again, to say
“Despite everything, I gambled my last thousand away”My heart goes out to you T because reading your posts reminds me of how gutted I felt so often.I was in your position many , many times. I ignored all advice for years and created hell on earth for myself whilst making very rich men even richer.
Gambling is a progressive disease. It does not go away.
You need to resist it at every level possible.
Lots of support available
GRAB IT with both hands to prevent you coming back in 20 years time writing
“Despite everything i was told I ruined my life”
God forbid that it should ever come to that.
I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
You have come to the right place, at the right time for help.
Gambling ruins everything.
Keep postingSorry to hear you feel stressed about these proposed changes, SJ.
Sometimes proposals do no materialize.
In the meantime, talk to your fellow service users. Put in a written petition, explaining how you will be affected by the changes. Ask what plans are being made to accommodate members. Make a strong case for long term members and their entitlement to continued support.
The more signatures you can gather , the better,
There is strength in numbers.
Stand firm.Eu gostaria de adicionar sentimentos semelhantes, I -did-It. Obrigado por abrir este tópico. Fui um participante regular nos grupos de quarta-feira à noite de Monique e não posso falar o suficiente sobre o quão atenciosa, solidária e sensível Monique sempre foi, seja em um a um (o que era frequentemente o caso) ou em um grupo maior. Sua abordagem profissional foi combinada com seu interesse pessoal e preocupação com o bem-estar de cada pessoa do grupo. Ela fará falta. Esperançosamente, após um intervalo, retomaremos nosso relacionamento terapêutico. PEGUE UM ARCO MONIQUE! Você deixou o GT orgulhoso. Aproveite sua merecida pausa (e volte rápido !!!)
Eu gostaria de adicionar sentimentos semelhantes, I -did-It. Obrigado por abrir este tópico. Fui um participante regular nos grupos de quarta-feira à noite de Monique e não posso falar o suficiente sobre o quão atenciosa, solidária e sensível Monique sempre foi, seja em um a um (o que era frequentemente o caso) ou em um grupo maior. Sua abordagem profissional foi combinada com seu interesse pessoal e preocupação com o bem-estar de cada pessoa do grupo. Ela fará falta. Esperançosamente, após um intervalo, retomaremos nosso relacionamento terapêutico. PEGUE UM ARCO MONIQUE! Você deixou o GT orgulhoso. Aproveite sua merecida pausa (e volte rápido !!!)
I would like to add similar sentiments , I -did-It.
Thank you for opening this thread.
I was a regular attendee at Monique’s Wednesday evening groups and I cannot speak highly enough of how attentive, supportive and sensitive Monique always was, whether on a one to one (which was often the case) or in a larger group. Her professional approach was matched with her personal interest and concern for the well being of each and every person in the group.
She will be missed.
Hopefully, after a break , we will resume our therapeutic relationship.
TAKE A BOW MONIQUE!
You did GT proud.
Enjoy your well deserved break (and hurry back!!!)Jeg vil gerne tilføje lignende følelser, jeg -gjorde -det. Tak fordi du åbnede denne tråd. Jeg var en regelmæssig deltager i Moniques onsdagsaftengrupper, og jeg kan ikke tale højt nok om, hvor opmærksom, støttende og følsom Monique altid var, hvad enten det var en til en (hvilket ofte var tilfældet) eller i en større gruppe. Hendes professionelle tilgang blev matchet med hendes personlige interesse og bekymring for hver persons person i gruppen. Hun vil blive savnet. Forhåbentlig vil vi efter en pause genoptage vores terapeutiske forhold. TAG EN BØJ MONIK! Du var GT stolt. Nyd din velfortjente pause (og skynd dig tilbage !!!)
Hello Nguyen and welcome to Gambling Therapy.
I am a compulsive gambler.
I tried EVERYTHING to control my gambling. I failed every time.
Once we cross the line there is no going back.
Keep posting!It’s very true, to say, Velvet , that a CG appears to be the life and soul of the party when we are on a role.
When the party finishes though, we find that same life and soul has been sucked out of us and out of God knows how many others as a result of our selfish antics. The gambling legacy takes a heavy toll.
Recovery for CG and “Victim” can be slow and lifeless for a while.
At GA meetings, I hear men talking about “A life beyond their wildest dreams” now that they have stopped gambling.
I’m still searching for that life. I find instead a rather empty life but “empty” beats the “fullofshit’n’grief”life that I existed in when I was chasing the “buzz”.
Gambling is an easy way out but the consequences come with a high price tag for everyone the “disease”attacks.
Just for today I cannot gamble.I find that comment very interesting, Logic because that is exactly how I felt about gambling. I felt my life without gambling would be a form of death. Indeed, I often looked on people who didn’t gamble as missing out on life.
This just highlights how flawed our thinking becomes when we succumb to illusions.
It interests me even more that a non CG (you, in this case) would /could become so sucked into the “Illusion” that yo need it as your escape.
Both the CG and the victim become puppets on strings in this warped illusion.
For things to change, the Puppet Master needs to cut the strings.
Are you ready to take on the role of puppet master?
I find ready F and F very helpful.I found a lot of the above helpful,(or should it be not helpful?) I -Did-it, when I actually wanted to gamble!
Don’t take me up the wrong way please.
I’m not nagging, judging,criticizing, being blunt, comparing situations, challenging, quoting you back out of context etc.I’m just saying that when I wanted to gamble I needed to eliminate all the people from my life who would hinder my action.
Almost every situation you describe would have applied.
I find reading F and F helpful because it highlights many of the things I chose to overlook or deny i.e. the effect my gambling had on others. Very few CGs confine our spending to “our own” money. Most CGs I have met have spent other peoples’ money. Money we had to beg borrow or steal. Realizing our faults and failings certainly makes a CG want to “escape”.
The things we don’t want to hear are often the very things we need to hear.
Why would a person waste time on a recovery site trying to put another member down?
I just don’t get that and I don’t find it helpful that you would suggest it.
It could put people off trying to offer support.Just checking in to see if that time bomb is still ticking?!?
French lotions don’t come cheap!
I wouldn’t worry about a CG forgetting your name so long as you keep her in ammunition.How are Y O U??
Started working your own recovery yet?Just touching base, Laura to make sure you are ok?
Great to hear a positive update.
I was thinking of posting to you but sometimes I feel I harass people too much!!
Today is my 500th G free day.Was it the one about walking down a different street???