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Life begins at 40, I-Did-It!
ps. if you gambled on your son’s computer would it show? I’m not a ” techi”. Surely your bank statement would reflect the withdrawals/ lodgements.
Not worth all the misery, is it?No gambling planned for today
If you were gambling, Monica 99% of these issues would go over your head.
We have to be patient. The scary part is that time runs out while we wait ………….It’s good to become aware of the damage we did through gambling, I-Did-It, but don’t be too quick to pick up the tab for everyone and everything.
I allowed others to lay the blame on me for things that had nothing to do with my gambling. They weren’t even laying blame. More likely I was inviting blame and criticism to punish myself, unconsciously . I refrain from that now but I do have setbacks.
I was a convenient scapegoat for many who refused to take personal responsibility for years.
On an emotional level I carried all the “baggage”. I can’t say I pulled my weight on a practical level but I have learned that carrying the emotional responsibility takes a far greater toll than keeping the lawn cut and the fires lit. I never undermine the hard work my husband does and did all my life but I do know that when the two are not on the same page at every level, one will “go under” from the strain.
Maybe that IS the root cause of why people gamble.
Perhaps we became overwhelmed and had our “meltdown” in what seemed to be a safe way.
Today, I’m having a total “opt out day”.
Ever have one of them?
If I stay out of sight, nobody can argue with me or “bounce” off me or blame or criticize me and the guys who normally opt out can pick up the flack for a change!!!
HA HA!no gambling today
waste of time
waste of energy
waste of money
always ends in tearsWell done Mark. Work is great but you need rest and exercise too.
Recovery is about balance.no gambling today
Today I will not gamble.
Look on this month, Shaun as a “Fellowhip/Unity” month
Every night when you put your head on the pillow be thankful that TODAY was a “clean” day.
The Monthly Pact has it’s flaws but if it creates confidence and accountable, I’m happy to follow along,one day at a time.Congrats on your new job, Jonny. You didn’t waste any time returning to work. You really are doing well in recovery, despite physical difficulties. You have my admiration!
One point I would like to make, having read some recent “disputes/disagreements” on your thread, is that in my experience, CGs tend to get caught up in chaos. Often turning molehills into mountains. If you read this thread in 12 months time, I’m sure you will look on these “discussions” as a storm in a teacup. One tough guy I heard at GA talked about the people who used to irritate and aggravate him. His approach now is that he doesn’t allow anyone to “rent space in his head”.
I guess this ability comes with maturity. It also depends on the closeness of our relationship with the people in question. I agree with you that we need to stay focused on our initial purpose for joining this site. Our common goal is to stop gambling. Our individual goal is to maintain our own recovery, one day at a time in a way that fits our own lifestyle and belief system. We are not responsible for any other member’s recovery. Anything that distracts us from these goals is a waste of time.
Over and out!Many adults regress when we are ill, Monica and need attention and care.
will come and go like any other day, 3racer
Keep your guard up and stay a step ahead.
Good luck with the counselling.
Keep posting.Having nothing to report is a good sign, Jay.
I like the question on whether frequent posting keeps the attachment to gambling open or not?
Just remind yourself that you new attachment is to recovery.
One day at a time.
Posting works for you.
Keep it up!Just popped into the Chat to see if you were there P.
I hope you are having a lie in instead.
Bed time here.
I need sleep badly!My take on loneliness. Monica is that it can’t be cured by human company.
I have experienced loneliness most acutely when I am in a crowd.
I have been least lonely when I am alone.
Am I making sense?
Don’t get me wrong! I enjoy company (when I am well and on my own terms!)
I have met people I enjoyed to the exclusion of all others. Very few , I may add. Like you, I am selective.
Sadly, I tend (ed) to select people who need(ed) me more than I need(ed)them or so it seemed until I discovered my needs were not being met at all…
What was my greatest need?
To be needed!! Consequently I clung to some people which made me believe that they were the source of my happiness…when they shook me off, I felt rejected, so I gambled.
How absurd !
These days I tend to be alone more.
I have dropped my attachments to the people (one in particular) who was once a soulmate. When we cling to others, our demands can develop into expectations and we are exposed to hurt and rejection.
Two things a CG needs like a hole in the head….
The plot thickens!!!I like that expression, Laura!
“Too much to lose” is a good reason to stay “clean”, and it’s not just about money.
No “win” will buy the peace of mind that comes with honest /simple living.
No “thrill”can be had without the hangover.
So here we go, Laura, one day at a time, with our “buzzless”existence they call “Life”.
All of us only one bet away from the “hell” we escaped from.
“When you enjoy the scent of a thousand flowers, you won’t miss the fragrance of one” the proverb tell us and I agree!