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God is on your side ,Jen. There is no need for a CG to gamble. WE are intelligent beings made in God’s Image and Likeness. He gave us Free Will. Every time I gambled, I abused my Free Will. He will not intervene but we won’t be tempted beyond our capacity to resist. It’s not always easy to say no but if we place Judgement and Reason above Feelings , things will fall into place. Once we place that first bet, out judgement becomes quickly impaired and we lose control. The first bit of advice I got from Lee on GT was “Postpone the next bet”. It applies every time we think of gambling. Don’t label yourself as “The Queen of Relapse”. You are doing very well.
Think of TODAY.
Say NO to the G thoughts (Shout it out!)and tonight you will go to your bed with peace of mind.
“Just for today, I will not gamble” is my mantra.
We all know WHY we gamble, Lizbeth. We are Compulsive Gamblers and that’s what CGs do. (I’m using the term for brevity ) You have done a lot to safeguard you recovery, Lizbeth. More than most, I would say. Try tackling the problem from a different angle . Do not handle money at all. When that shopkeeper buys your clothes (great that you got sale for them), ask for payment in cheque. I know it’s difficult for you on your own, but try to see it like this. YOU are working hard for your (limited) money and some FATCAT is rubbing his/her hands, laughing all the way to the bank . Easy money at the expense of vulnerable people. God forgive them, but that’s the corrupt world we live in. It is up to you and I to protect ourselves and with God’s grace, we can do that. You will survive, Lizbeth but Life is not merely about survival. Prisoners in concentration camps survive. You certainly deserve a better life. Tying up money is the ONLY way we can’t gamble. I feel for you now, Lizbeth. Any one of us could be writing the same post. Can you ban from that casino? Think of yourself as a dog chasing his tail. Total waste of time.
There is NOTHING more stressful, than gambling, Jen.
When things go wrong, the thought of gambling to “put things right” crops up.
Strangely, when things “go right” we also think we should gamble to “celebrate”.
Catch 22.
The reality is , we CANNOT gamble because we are Compulsive Gamblers who destroy our lives when we succumb to the temptation.
Keep a cool head, Jen. God is on your side. He won’t abandon you if you surrender to His Will.
Deep breaths!Perhaps meeting with your mother on neutral ground is the answer, Lizbeth!
She has to behave reasonably in public. LOLWell done, Sloppy. Change of lifestyle works!
It’s good to have a plan, K and having determination to figure out recovery will help you to implement that plan. In my experience very few people (none in fact)understand what goes on in a CG’s mind. Like you, I often feel resentful that my husband shows disregard for the seriousness of my problem, not by dipping my nose in my losses but by “leaving me wide open” to gambling. I often think he wants me to gamble. How warped is that!?In your case you lost his deceased father’s money and of course he is shocked and angry about that. Sadly, when we are in the throes of gambling we don’t care where the money comes from. In fact money loses it’s real meaning and becomes mere ammunition to “keep the reels spinning”. And yes, we ALWAYS intend winning it back. The thing we need to instill in our brains is that as compulsive gamblers,we will NEVER win. The nature of the addiction is that we will continue until we can no longer gamble i.e. the money runs out. That’s why it’s a compulsion. You’re feelings towards other people is not unusual. “Where were they when I needed help” often crossed my mind , or ” they haven’t a clue what I’m going through so why should I befriend them” . My reality was (is) that I isolate myself when I gamble. I shut everybody out. Friends and family are nothing more than time wasters who will cramp my style or wreck my buzz. What kind of friend could measure up to that behaviour? The bottom line, K is that we have caused a lot of damage by our gambling. Money is not what its all about. Gambling is an emotional issue. If your husband or other family members could join the Friends and Family Forum on this site or attend Gamanon, it would give them the insight they need to support themselves and understand the problem. Try to be patient. It takes a long time to undo the chaos we created. Action speaks louder than words . When your family members begin to notice that you are making positive efforts, they will come round. As Jen says, give it time.
If a vacation is going to bring stress, then it is not a vacation. Well done on resisting the temptation, Jen. It could have caused a major set back. Being in a gambling environment is not good in early recovery or at any time. It might cause a delayed reaction. Just focus on today. Tomorrow/next week/payday/Christmas will come and go. Making plans for the future can help us but plans sometimes go awry.Today is all we have to deal with.
I am really pleased to hear your good news, Lizbeth. You have bounced back from the cliff edge. Thank God!
You deserve a good life.What happened , Kin?
I’ve been trying to get round to posting to say thank you for your support in the group last night.
I may have come across as dazed but I took in what you said and will put it into effect.
I gave an account on my thread of what today has been like.
Externally everything appears as normal but inside I feel like a squeezed out dishcloth.
I just had a long bath (puddings still bubbling along nicely) so I will wind down soon and have a very early night. I told my son and his wife that I will treat them to a meal tomorrow after Mass so I need to get my act together. Thank God there was 200 left in my account (the last of the overdraft) so I can fulfill that promise at least.
I hope you get some rest over the weekend as well as catching up on your work. Have a health check up asap, Monica (ask for a cardio stress test), says one who escapes to the slots to avoid all health issues!
I hope your grand daughter is recovered from her ordeal.
The world has gone mad. The order of Life is breaking down.
Thanks too for posting to my thread.Jen, you have just written the best description of a gambling hangover, imaginable! If we were mugged, assaulted, raped or tortured, we would be reporting it to the police, yet we deprive ourselves of our most basic rights -peace of mind, sleep, food, fresh air ( even use of the toilet, sometimes)by confining ourselves to one position in a windowless, timeless zone with mechanical pickpockets, with full knowledge that our “fun” will ALWAYS end in tears, Like you, I always bring huge wads of notes to the casino . (No point in going with small sums because the addiction is insatiable) I remember once, years ago, driving a round trip of over a hundred miles, late at night when I ran out of “ammunition” , remembering I had a stash at home because I was convinced the machine I was playing was about to pay out! Banning yourself from casinos is a great deterrent. It can only be done verbally where I live. I did ban from my 2 comfort zones in 2008 and never set foot there since. Pride prevented me from losing face. Thanks for posting to my thread. I will reply there. Enjoy your son when you still have time. You never know how he will turn out. I can’t believe that my son has cut himself off from his parents. Abandonment has a strange effect.