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Welcome to GT, Sinus DD!
You came to the right place.
When we get a few “clean” months, complacency sets in.
Then , it’s too late.
Put barriers in place now when you are still hurting.
700 euro is hard earned! Why throw it to the “fatcats”.
Soon it will be 7000, then 70000.
That’s what happened to me.
The zeros keep adding up.
I laughed when a friend said this to me many years ago. I’m not laughing now. I’m paying off the debts I built up by justifying my gambling. “it’s ONLY €700”!
Stop now when you have a chance.
Lean on the support on this site and any other help you can get. Try GA (Gambler’s Anonymous) . Speak to a friend. Ask for help.
Recovery doesn’t come to you. You need to look for it.
Compulsive gambling is no fun. It is a serious disease and it progresses in the blink of an eye.
As Steev said , you need hep.
Reach out.
You are not alone.
I wish you well. Keep posting.

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I’m glad your head is clear and you don’t want to gamble, Lizbeth. I think your mom will never change….. Good look with your house sitting. Do you have to live in there while they are away?

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Great to see you posting, Laura. You have come a long way since 2009. As you say, it’s all about TODAY. I am so glad you are enjoying your car and can afford a Cleaning Lady. My Cleaning Lady is a man-my husband. I’m ashamed to say, I’m very critical of the standard of his work.He has dis-improved over the years. The reality is we are not getting any younger. This house /garden are too big and we have NO HELP. I feel very guilty that I don’t do more work. I have plans to change all that…….. I really do hope and pray you get relief from your pain, Laura. Is there any way you could go on long term disability from work? The Social Welfare system here allows for that. It’s really not worth it when you are pushing yourself every day. Being gamble free and seeing the reward is a bonus that you deserve. Thanks for making the effort to post on your phone. I can only use a laptop. Never bought a smart phone. Never will.

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I only had the Prestige type
I ruined one while steaming a Christmas pudding a few years ago.
The other just stopped working.

Yours sounds like the Real Deal
I wonder could I figure how to use it. Is it difficult to work?

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I love that your husband is saying “no” on your behalf. I remember ONCE in all the years I have been married, my husband stuck up for me..and as for enjoying days out…we won’t go there! Ah! The pressure cooker…I had two over the years. Both out of order now. I only use the base. I must get a new one. One tip. If you cook a full chicken for half an hour , pour oil over it, then place it in a very hot oven for a further 30 mins you will have the nicest roast chicken ever. Good luck with the study and the work.

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Sharp post on another member’s thread about why we need to gamble, Monica.
I would add avarice , impatience and immaturity to the reasons we STILL want to gamble despite knowing the outcome.
Read “Definition of a Mature Person ” in the GA literature.
It also throws some light on the topic.
I wish to God , I could sleep on and off.
My sleep is shot.
I’m in trouble….

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are you treating yourself to a night out every Saturday, Nick?

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I’m not interested in labels, IDI. Not even designer ones.

Real people interest me more.

Like the genuiine ones I meet in GA.

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You can look at it from both sides , Sherrie.

Sometimes, in certain situations I use the term “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”

But when a situation as serious as the destructive consequences of compulsive arises , I would be more inclined to say

“A drowning man needs a bit more than a high five!”

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Tears bring healing, Lizbeth. Repentance brings change.
Your prayer was heard.
Isn’t your daughter a brave lady to undertake that training?
This could be another way God is intervening-placing your grand daughter in your safe care.

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January was a G free month, thank God!A good start to 2019.
I don’t want another year of misery or another week or even a day. I have had enough.
Life is not perfect. It never was, never will be.
I’m heading off to a GA meeting now. It’s a wet miserable night.
The meeting will be opened by the secretary who invites members to introduce themselves by first name only and IF THEY wish they can say how long it is since their last bet.
Some people say “my name is ********. I am a compulsive gambler” . Some just say “I’m *****”
Personally, I have no problem saying “I am a compulsive gambler” It brings it home to myself and lets other people in the room know I’m not just a spectator.
After all GA is a Fellowship for people with gambling problems .Everyone is there for one reason. To stay free from the next bet. Unity is one of the Group’s strengths.
When I attended other groups over the years ,attendees introduced themselves by mentioning their position in the group.
It would be very time consuming at GA if members listed their own interpretation of their reason for being present.(many attend more than one Fellowship)
When we get hung up on minutiae, we lose sight of the wider picture.

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Glad you’re back to normal, Jen. I like “normal”!
I hate snow. -21!!!! Oh dear!!!!
It was -3 here tonight and we had a power cut since 2 pm. I used to leap for the “safety net” during power cuts (We don’t have “powerless”casinos . ..only powerless customers!)
I went to the nearest shopping mall instead. Spent less than 20 quid. Bought two “occasion” cards. Walked around the perimeter to stretch my weary bones, bought a Mc Donalds and came home to a lit up house, with two blazing stoves-compliments of my husband (who doesn’t understand the intricacies of my gambling mind)
… and here I am writing my last post on a G free January 31st – payday!
Thanks for your compliment on Jezi’s thread. I just write about my thoughts and experiences.
“Words are all I have” , as the song goes.
Actions are more important, of course.
Stay focused.

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I hear you Jezi.
You are going through a tough phase and you have no “prop” to lean on without your gambling prop.
I went through these phases .
I looked for “understanding” too.
I often sat in all night casinos , where gamblers came and went at all hours (no clock, no windows) and when the buzzer went and the door swung open, I often visualized my husband walking through , to sweep me up and rescue me.
It never happened. I always left alone.
He would be at home, snoring, oblivious to my misery and pain .
That was in the early days.
Oh, yes, he would bail me out when I fessed up and became hysterical after losing yet another month’s salary , swearing to God that I would never ever ask him again and binding him to secrecy of course “for all that ever was between us” and of course promising on my “mother’s grave” that I would never gamble again.
Fast forward 5 or 6 years when I became immune to the losses. Learned to be more crafty. Less in need of bail outs. Independent.I found other ways to get money to gamble and I played my cards close to my chest , doing things my way, shutting everybody out, especially those who cramped my style i.e. my husband.
“Why not? I asked and justified my increased gambling because “He didn’t understand”!
It was true, of course. He didn’t understand . And to this day he never got it.
Why?
My response to that is “Who in their sane senses could UNDERSTAND how their spouse would work 12 hour shifts, earn good money and stuff every last cent of that salary, month after month , into slot machines, then borrow to chase it and lose more and more. It just is beyond normal understanding. I would stay out all night. Drive in all weathers and at all hours to “play” and “have fun”.
If I live to be a hundred I will never understand why I did it, so how can we expect our husband’s /wives to figure it all out in a flash.
What my husband DID do, Jezi, was pay the bills, slog away working to maintain the upkeep of our home, which would have been for sale years ago if it depended on me…………
Relationships are complex, Jez.
Gambling is a complex issue.
Recovery is an enigma.
Life itself is a mystery.
Yes, I felt let down because he didn’t understand. I felt for a long time that my husband wanted me to gamble. For many years it suited him to have me “out of his hair”. He may have had his own agenda. Who knows. None of use can read minds. He also did say very cruel things to my then teenage sons in my absence and to this day my youngest son still slaps up those expressions to me and when that happens all the old feelings return and I feel like strangling my husband for using his son (he would have been about 10 years old)to say the words he hadn’t the guts to say to me, himself. Maybe all this happened because he “didn’t understand”. Perhaps I gambled because I didn’t understand. Perhaps my family is dysfunctional because nobody understood. I could go on and on.
The whole purpose of joining forums like this is that it gives us a platform to voice our thoughts and feelings instead of using gambling as a form of escape or as a buzz ( like skidding in the snow) and yes, there is help available for “victims”. The F and F Forum here, the GT Helpline, Gamanon and marriage counselling are available for your husband . He might be open to these supports (mine never was -he sees gambling as my problem, not his)
In the meantime do what you have to do , one day at a time.
Use the support here for YOU.
Keep the communication open with your husband and
give him time.

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‘Hope you’re feeling better , Jen.
“Surrender”is the name of the game.
Missed you in Chat just now.

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I get you, Monica.
Where I live somebody always knows somebody. A small country. It would be very easy to put two and two together.
Along with that, I like privacy unless I choose to share my details which I do with some people.
Awful, that you have to work when you are feeling unwell.
It was my greatest dread.

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