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Our Blessed Lady guided you to that lady, Sherrie
Faith moves mountains
Time for you to take a break, Sherrie?
You have support. Divine assistance is not always obvious but it it never fails.It is your story to tell, Jezi.
“WE ARE ONLY AS SICK AS OUR SECRETS”!
I am a compulsive gambler…and always will be,
BUT ONLY WHEN I PLACE THE FIRST BET
Today, by God’s Grace, I will not gamble.Here we go again, Monica. I think “soft touches” stand out a mile. I often lent my older son a small amount of money and visa versa and we agree to repay each other within a few days. If the money is not in my account on the day, I text him to remind him. You youngest son, on the other hand owes me money. I gave him 2 k into his hand on one occasion when he was moving house (flat) and needed a deposit of 2k. I stressed to him that it was a loan and I expected regular repayments as I am in debt. First he made outlandish promises and then turned like an alsatian on me and told me to stick the money where the monkey stuck the bad nut that he wouldn’t be made feel like a beggar and was about to walk away. I pulled him back and said “it’s not about the money, only. Its about integrity and respect ” He calmed down. Took the money graciously. Made regular payments for a few months and I never saw the rest of it. I told him it is his debt, not mine… That was six years ago.. Roll on to 2016 when he needed money urgently AGAIN….this time to pay dodgy money lenders who wanted their money now OR ELSE. My point Monica, is , do we REALLY help others by lending money? Are we giving them easy options (like I was given to gamble- which enabled me to lose so much)and preventing them from sorting out what causes them to need so many loans? In my case I have said NO to the person who borrows from me. She turned on the water works but I just turned away. I know she doesn’t need the money for what she says. I won’t judge her but I won’t lend her money ever again. Lending caused me to gamble on more than one occasion. There is a difference between generosity and allowing yourself to be used.
It takes a long time to regain trust in a marriage, Sherrie. Remember, there are two sides to every story. I don’t justify gambling, but we all had underlying causes for our addiction.
Would he agree to attend Marriage Counselling?
He is a lucky man to have you as a wife so don’t allow him to put you down so easily.
Gambling will prove him right so keep a cool head.
Sleep well
Things often seem different after a night’s sleep.Glad you had an early night, Monica. I hope this post finds you refreshed and ready to face another day. As you can see by the time of posting, I’m having another nuit blanche. My pattern now is horrendous. God help your poor mother with shingles. Let’s hope it’s a mild dose and that she gets the proper treatment fast. By the way, did your niece recover from that spider bite? Meant to ask you.
You are nearing your 18 month date, Monica. How life has changed for you in that time. Thank God.
Good to see a post from you, Kathryn. Despite the dire straits, you haven’t gambled. I hope things level out for you and the family. Not having enough money to get by IS stressful. The good thing is you are young and fit and Dames WILL get work. Have you managed to stay off the smokes? That would be a big saving and a couple of “dry” months for the man himself might help the finances. Every time we need money for a big bill, I just go cold, thinking if I hadn’t gambled we wouldn’t be stressed over bills but there is no place for shuddas or cuddas in recovery, Kathryn we just have to accept the thing we cannot change, etc. hopefully you will get a tax rebate. Is this the time of year you get that? It is here. I got a few bob and I was delighted. We sure know the value of money now m’darlin’! Chin up. Everything changes. Give it time.
Thinking of you, Lizbeth…don’t forget the first 5 years in a child’s life are the most important and YOU were involved with your grandson’s formation, then. He sounds like a great boy. A credit to you too.
Think carefully about looking after your grand daughter full time, Lizbeth. The mother is the primary carer and none of us golden oldies will be growing younger. Child rearing is a huge responsibility. I know you want to help your daughter and I wish her the best in her future plans.
I hope and pray it works out well for YOU!
Don’t gamble, Liz. You have come a long way and you know It would set you back badly.
Always in my thoughts and prayers.Glad to hear your blood results were within normal limits, Jezi.
I am BAD at following up with medical issues. They usually phone me from the surgery or write a letter asking to see me in connection with results.. Sometimes it sounds serious but I’m alive and upright so I tend to go by my body than wait for test results. Your body will usually tell you when things are out of sync..
Sleep is a HUGE issue for me.If I could get that sorted, I think I could fly.
Regarding the GA “Friends and Family” night, I have been to quite a few. Once my son came with me but commented “How could anyone say they are powerless over anything”! ( Total denial on his part because he has “issues” that I know he needs help with). I got “pins” on two occasions and did my presentation with no family or friend present.I preferred it that way.
The amazing thing was , the members from other groups came to lend support and I even got “Well done” and “Congratulation” cards.
I went to a 12 Step Meeting last night. A venue I hadn’t attended for almost a year. 16 men and me. Lots of the men there shook my hand and welcomed me back. Nice bunch of guys. All humbled by gambling and passing absolutely no judgement on anyone.
I would never say GA is the only answer. To be honest I have no idea how it works. All I do know is that when I attended meetings regularly, I got 27 G free months.
Take care, Jezi.
You have had a rough ride with gambling, JC.
Time to kiss it all goodbye.
No time is a right time or a good time. No time will be easy. Indeed, giving up is hard as hell, but what’s the alternative for a compulsive gambler? Hell on earth, in my experience. It gets worse every time. Believe me I have tried to win back even a day’s loss and very often did and guess what..? You know the answer.
It always ends in tears. We could gamble from now until eternity and never get our money back.
Bow out when you still have your family intact.
One day at a time. The urgency and anxiety will never leave but it will fade. The longer you stay away from gambling, the thoughts will become less intense .
It is NOT easy but it IS possible.
Just for today walk away.