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I won’t comment on Pete’s behaviour, Monica. I will just bit my tongue…
The ball is in your court in the work sphere.
Name your price!Yes, TF, bad memories haunt us but as you say, the human brain has a mechanism to obliterate those events. I did terrible things to my sons when they were teenagers but still managed to justify gambling, saying “We all make mistakes rearing kids ” or some such BS. There is a passage in the GA literature that says “don’t tempt or test yourself”. Keep it in mind when parking near the bookies. One false move can set us back big time. Never allow complacency to catch you off guard. This disease has taken a lot from every CG I ever met. Gambling always end in tears for a CG. You are doing brilliantly. Stay focused.
Be careful you don’t slip into isolation, Jez.
That happens to me.
Stay outdoors as much as possible. Meet neighbours/friends for a light conversation or a coffee. Avoid alcohol.
Walk, walk, walk. Swim, if you’re able.
Avoid housework for now if it causes you to become obsessive
Drink lots of water and camomile tea.
Don’t make any major changes.
Write a short “to do”list.
Tick off what you do and carry the rest forward.
Roll with the punches, Jez.
All this will pass.
Did you ever try CBT?
GA can be a great place to listen and learn. Share things that are not too near the bone. For example. “I’m taking some time off work to get some perspective on my problems. Anyone else experience that in early recovery” . That will open up feedback from the floor. Don’t try to tackle every task today. You have the rest of your life to gain insights. You need to ENJOY Life, not ENDURE IT.
You are making great progress.
Keep posting.Sorry you missed out on the job this time, Sherrie.
“What’s for you, won’t go by you”so, this job wasn’t for you.
Lent is a great time to reflect on our lives. I hope to fast and get my life in order.
I’m heading into it with awe.
Just home from a meal out with 2 family members. I missed out on their 50th birthday last year (due to gambling) so I was delighted to be able to treat them to a meal. They bought the dink so it was affordable.
You work very hard, Sherrie.
Maybe you could save up and plan an Easter break for you and hubby.
You deserve it.That’s WONDERFUL news about your daughter, Lizbeth.
Prayers answered.
Thank God!
Safe driving to you daughter for a great many years ahead.JUST CHECKING IN TO SAY, HI, BNDET.
YOU ARE DOING WELL , KEEPING UP WITH YOUR POSTS, DESPITE THE POOR RESPONSE.
IT CAN GO LIKE THAT SOMETIME.
YOU HAVE NOTICED THAT NON GAMBLERS “DON’T GET IT”.
I HAVE FOUND THAT TOO. WHAT IS OF MAJOR IMPORTANCE TO A PROBLEM GAMBLER DOESN’T SEEM TO HAVE ANY EFFECT ON NON GAMBLERS UNLESS OF COURSE THEY ARE “VICTIMS”.
KEEP POSTING HERE. YOU WILL GET SUPPORT.
JUST REACH OUT.
I WISH YOU WELL IN RECOVERY.
WELL DONE ON SEEKING HELP.Although most of your post talks about money, the truth is compulsive gambling is not about money at all.
The loss (and yes, I hear you-you’ve had huge losses-me too)of money brings us to the realization that we cannot gamble responsibly. I agree, the deception regarding “Responsible Gambling” that is launched by The Gaming Industry is a total hoax. CGs CANNOT gamble. Period. We also CANNOT handle money. We are powerless over gambling when we place the first bet.
When I joined this site in 2008, a man called Lee advised me to “postpone the next bet”.
It is the best advice any CG can get.
Try it , just for today. Don’t think beyond today.
I wish you well in recovery.
Keep posting.What’s up, Sherrie??
You had a strange day , Monica.
Will Pete be back, do you think?
Mine turned ok different than planned….snow prevented me from driving to the casino.
Among other things.
Hubby made a quiche and an apple tart and we are watching a film on Netflix for the past few hours.
I dread the night time.Delighted to hear your sister is getting a “windfall”, Monica. Saw you in the Group last night but the screen didn’t show any print. MADDENING!!! I think the dream about not getting the swim while on holiday cold relate to your job offer. Water in a dream, as everyone knows, is indicative of emotional situations.Not getting into the water could suggest avoidance of emotions. By the way, was it the sea or a pool? Can you swim? My dreams about water alternate between a calm blue sea in a sunny haven or wild turbulent rough waves. I could be way off the mark but your recent posts spoke new job offers. Perhaps you are subconsciously refusing to face up to what this job offer entails? Or could it be that you want to leave emotion out of your decision? Might see you later in chat.
I’m have a BAD day today.
Hi Lauren,
I saw your name in the group last night but the print wouldn’t appear, which is not only unsupportive but it’s also VERY frustrating. Especially for members who need instant support.
Ah, well, that’s Life!
Feeling “hopeless, worthless and a huge failure” is the gift gambling bestows on us. These feelings serve to initiate further gambling and on it goes until the ” remorse becomes less because we are numb and immune to it”. This condition is precisely what allows us to drift further down the waterfall, refusing to hold the bucket to catch even the dregs. “I can’t stop even when I win” could be rephrased. “I can’t stop ESPECIALLY when I win”.
We could write about this problem for ever, Lauren. (paper won’t refuse ink!) We could visit Support Groups, talk at GA , cry salted tears, promise ourselves a New Life, swear “never again” to loved ones and yet gamble madly when the opportunity arises.
We are NEVER immune from this insidious “disease”.
It grabs us , when we least expect it and it has nothing to do with money at all. That’s the deception that keeps the proverbial wheels in spin.
I had plans for last night/today. They went “belly up”. All night, I magnified the situation in my mind. (CGs are good at that) The conclusion I came to was “what the hell! I will take myself to the casino because there is no point in making the effort to be good”. (The words to describe my feelings were less tame, actually but I don’t want to be too explicit on the www!)………..then I read your post. I disagree when you say “Gambling is not going to give me what I want”. Unfortunately it does. For a while and then it takes it back.
If gambling didn’t give us “something”, none of us would gamble but that’s a topic for another day.
TODAY I just need to convince myself and I hope you do likewise that the only thing we can do is make it impossible to gamble.
Just for today.Hi Jordy,
Welcome to GT.
I know exactly how you feel when you describe how soul destroying it is, working for nothing. The good news is you are young and you have family support. Ok, you said “never again” You and hundreds of gamblers, hundreds of time. Compulsive Gamblers can’t keep those sort of promises, Jordy because the need to gamble becomes greater than any other worthy need. Just slow down and plan your next move. Let’s admit it, when we have money,we gamble. When we “win”, we gamble more. When we lose we chase and on it goes until we are broke AGAIN. That’s the compulsion, Jordy. The flip side to that is, IF we do not have money, the compulsion is quashed . No money = no gamble. My first bit of advice would be TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND. She is going to find out anyway. You know that and coming from the “horse’s mouth”will be more helpful for your relationship….give it a shot. Let her handle ALL the finances. You can’t do it right now. She cares about you…that’s why it would be another bad move to “end it all” because it wouldn’t be the end for her or for your family. It would be the start of their life of blame and regret- a dreadful legacy. Find a GA meeting near you. Walk in to a meeting and pour out your thoughts. Keep posting here. You have taken the first step. Well done!