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Just to let you know Looby that I am not forgetting to pray for your husband’s dear brother as he prepares to pass fro Life to Eternity.
57 is very young to die!
Makes me realise how much time I have wasted and how we should ***** our blessings every day.
‘Hoping and praying that you will stay away from "hellville" this weekend Neva (S)!
Im off today. No money except the price of a trip to the hairdressers if I can muster up the energy to go. Working Sunday and Monday. Lent begins next Wednesday ( Ash Wednesday) so I intend going on a fast from all the "good things of life" including gambling!Hi Alex and welcome to GT!
Well done on getting things off your chest ! I hope you found that a relief!
As a CG, I think when I first came here in May 2008, that’s exactly what I was looking for! Relief! Most people look for relief from life’s problems. A cure is painful (Not that there is any known "cure" for gambling). Most of us look for the easy way out Alex! I certainly did, but I am learning slowly that there is no easy way to get out of the mess we have created. The good news, however, is that recovery is possible, but it comes at a price. The price is no more gambling! We have to "kiss our lover goodbye" and move on! That seems daunting to a CG, but we really have no option but to keep on trying. If I had stopped in 2008 when I had myself psyched up to leave the gambling life behind me, things would be very different in my life today but I succumbed to the wiles of the addiction many ***** and as a result, here I am still struggling. Broke but not broken. Shattered but not yet defeated!
You are perfectly right Alex. Gambling can take EVERYTHING from us. It is a sinister and progressive disease and very few who are not directly affected by it have any understanding of thhe damage it can cause.
My advice to you is to contact your counsellor asap. Get your life back on track before this greedy addictions robs you of any more of the good things you have. For today, give your cash an Credit cards to your girlfriend and lay down your arms an surrender. Admitting you are powerless is the first step!
Well done on coming here. You will get lots of help and support as you begin to rebuild your young life, one day at a time!
God bless !Good to meet you in the chat the other day, SJ!
I’m sure counselling is hard on you. I’m glad you found a helpful counsellor. Have you sorted out the difference between "online gambling for fun" and "real" gambling?
I know the fun/free gambling is definitely a way of sucking us in to the real thing again, but I don’t believe it puts us back to Day One!
Just my opinion!
I would be interested to hear your latest thought and ideas about it !
Congratulations on 5 G -free months William!
Nothing will change the past. That is a common cliche, I know but I really question the value of dwelling on ***** that caused us hurt and pain. Some people become very fixated in past issues. This gives the past power over us. Another cliche, I know, but I have learned that the more I delved into the past, the more morbid my life seemed. Morbidity definitely drove me to gambling and as Neva rightly said, the side effects of the "cure" (gambling) were worse than the depression!
I think it is good to revisit the past William. Look at it as if you are looking at pictures in a book,and when you have observed what you need to see, then turn the page and move on. Each chapter in our lives brings a new experience. Some good . Some bad. Some mediocre. Personally, I used gambling to blur out the pages I could not bear to look at, until the only page left was an empty blank.
I have no words or no picture to describe that page!
From here on we can write the next chapter William, beginning with…
"Today, I did not gamble!"
I hope you regain your life as you enter the threshold of hope!Thanks for your loving posts Cat!
I think of your friend, Ruth every day and her mum and her twins. What will happen? Nobody knows but we do know there is a reason for everything and God only sends us the crosses we can bear. His ways are not ours. so looking with finite vision reveals only a dull and foggy picture.
Praying and hoping will never lead us astray.
Thanks for your prayers! Much needed and appreciated!"I didn’t see the slip coming!"
You wrote that twice R2C!
Others have said the same thing…."I didn’t see it coming!"………….
I have to challenge you to really think about that statement R2C! I used to fool myself into be***ving I just blinked my eyes and "found myself"sitting behind a slot machine with five hundred euro missing from my purse.
That was never the reality of what happened.
Every time I gamble(d), my episode began with a thought. Just one thought ! "Today, if I gamble, I will double my money" or " I’m free today, I have "spare" money so I’ll "treat" myself to a fun day in the casino.
Those thought are always flawed.
When I chose to dwell on them, I begin to plan! A CG always ***** a PLAN.
Line up your ammunition i.e. cash.
Set time aside.
Think of an excuse ( usually a ***) to cover your tracks. (I usually meet an invisible friend)
I then need to travel a certain distance, maybe an hour. I need to quash any counter thoughts,i.e. (If I gamble I might lose" or even " Cgs never win", so as not to shatter my illusion.
Only when I have the scheme developed to the finest detail do I set off to put my plan into action.
My gambling trips are always well planned even if I manage to block out that plan from my conscious mind until the game is over. CGs are good at that!
I know now that having admitted to being in full control of every gambling trip I ever made, I can never again call it a "slip", nor can I say " I didn’t see it coming!"
Just something to reflect on when you are nursing your wounds! Its the best time to see things cleary R2C!
Suffering brings us to our senses.
Bundoran has sad memories for me too. Reminds me that I had a problem with gambling for even longer than I realised! Reading about it gave me quite a jolt. Too difficult a memory to dwell on because it involved a very young child!
GAMBLING DESTROYS LIVES!
Seems as if someone said " Will the real Jayson please stand up!"
take a bow Jayson!Congratulations on your new grandson, Reds! What a relief that he is well and healthy. Of course if he had Downs Syndrome he would be equally welcomed and loved, but it is a relief all the same. Just goes to show Ultrasound equipment is not always accurate! Thank God the parents didnt make any "rash decisions" as a result of the indication!
24 days to go
odaat
what then ?
Im G free so far this month but still licking nasty painful wounds…
ouch!Well, "Neva", here I am, still hiding behind "Vera"!
Would you believe I met her lately….I am sad to say I actually met lots of " Veras" and "Nevas"lately, one more bedraggled looking than the next. Whinging and complaining about the machines and still blinded to the real problem! Thats what gambling does to us, "Neva". It tears our lives apart and leaves us sick and soulless.But "WE" know better ! We have been given the tools and the chances that others never had so "to him that much has been given, much will be expected" (Those words are haunting me all day) Just looking into the real "Vera’s" eyes should have been enough for me, but it wasn’t ! ………
Maybe TODAY I will see beyond the illusion, the mirage , and maybe when I "wake up and smell the coffee"as Geordie reminded me , I will look around and see reality as you describe it.
A life without gambling has given you such wonderful rewards Neva. All you ever wished for and you deserve the lot! A house on a hill with an idyllic view and the knowledge that as a free woman you will enjoy every moment in your new home!
What good would it all be, if you were to spend your future in a casino, stuffing dollar bills into machines that will turn you into the real "Neva"!
What a waste that would be!
Gambling has no place in my life or yours! Today!
Just to say I’m thinking of you Sunny, and I hope you are doing well!
I can totally identify with the disastrous scenario you describe, Uncontrolled.I’ve lived through a lot of similar scenes.
I am no stranger to sleepless nights and gambling remorse.
Some***** words only add fuel to the fire. My husband just stays silent when I try to talk to him in the aftermath of a gambling binge, or indeed before a binge, if I am foolish enough to seek his support in an effort to avert yet another disaster. During these ***** I use "texting" to communicate.
It’s easier than watching his negative reaction. Listeing to muttered curses and suffering long silences and waiting for a snide remark in company, as a method of paying me back, is just like turning a knife in an unhealed wound and such things prevent me from ever again confiding in him about my gambling, so I just pick up my own tab and move on….
"Moving on" takes different directions for every CG. We can decide to drown our sorrows in the places that created that sorrow initially, or we can walk away and steer our lives in a different direction.
Either route involves ACTION,not words.
Words mean very little to an addict!– 01/02/2013 17:46:43: post edited by vera.Я могу полностью идентифицировать себя с катастрофическим сценарием, который вы описываете, «Неконтролируемый». Я пережил много подобных сцен.
Я не привыкать к бессонным ночам и угрызениям совести.
Некоторые ***** слова только подливают масла в огонь. Мой муж просто молчит, когда я пытаюсь поговорить с ним после азартной выпивки или даже перед запоем, если я достаточно глупа, чтобы искать его поддержки, чтобы предотвратить еще одну катастрофу. Во время этих ***** я использую "текстовые сообщения" для общения.
Это проще, чем наблюдать за его негативной реакцией. Слушая бормотание проклятий и терпя долгое молчание, и ожидая ехидного замечания в компании, как способ отплатить мне, это все равно, что вонзить нож в незаживающую рану, и такие вещи мешают мне когда-либо снова довериться ему о моей игре. так что я просто беру свою вкладку и двигаюсь дальше ….
«Движение вперед» принимает разные направления для каждой компьютерной графики. Мы можем решить утопить наши печали в тех местах, которые изначально создавали эту печаль, или мы можем уйти и направить свою жизнь в другом направлении.
Любой путь предполагает ДЕЙСТВИЕ, а не слова.
Слова очень мало значат для наркомана! – 02.01.2013 17:46:43: сообщение отредактировал vera.