[vera]

Toddlers are hard to watch. Eyes in the back of the head required.
I believe in Guardian Angels.
She is a godsend to you, Lizbeth but a huge responsibility.
Love overcomes all
You are a great granny!

[vera]

Thanks , RG
I screwed up big time
Had a few “high rolling ” weeks but guess what? Greed took over! I am back to stage one. A physical/mental/financial/everthing wreck!
No one to blame but big fat moi!

[vera]

“Terrified of what I am capable of” summarizes perfectly the mindset of a Compulsive Gambler, when in action.
And you are right. No “win” will satisfy us. Our need to gamble is insatiable once we start. A “win” is a high interest loan.
I feel for you Meghna.
The whole gambling scenario is nothing short of demonic.
We need to turn away from it. It ruins lives.
Money is only the tip of the iceberg.
When it takes your soul, it could be too late.
Never give up.
Life without inviting this madness into our homes can be so much better.
I’m following your thread.
Keep posting.

[vera]

Great post, Crhh.
Very honest and sincere. Glad to hear you found the input from Steev and myself helpful tonight.
We all need each other. Give and take.
Reading your opening post has helped me more than you will ever know.
God bless. Keep posting.

[vera]

Kept getting disconnected, Charles.
It was my laptop, losing charge I think.
Just plugged it in so it seems to be working now.
Will try to connect to the next group if it’s not too late.

[vera]

My sons were mollycoddled, RG. I gave them ALL their legal documents, as required. They both lost the lot. (ALL MY FAULT,OF COURSE) They moved from college campuses to shared houses etc over the years. A recipe for disaster. I had to bail them out on so many occasions, I lost co u nt. Birth certs can be re issued but Passports cost more and take longer. I did a spot check once to find the accommodation like a war zone. Rubbish bags in the kitchen, the toilet not fit for use. Extra beds moved in ALL LIVING OFF MY HARD EARNED BUCKS. That’s the down side, RG. At times like that I had no difficulty cutting yet another chunk off the umbilical cord and letting them sick or swim. The thing is they always come back. Has your son a girl in his life? That can happen and it changes everything RG. Then the mammy is REALLY not his lover any more. Now you can really shriek and tear your hair out!!!! My advice would be to close your eyes for the next five years. Try to revive your relationship with hubby so that you have some one to wrap your arms and legs around and cling on to….that is unless he doesn’t get it!!!!

And they say it’s easy being a mother. O Lordy, lordy.

[vera]

Just a thought, Steev. Apart from the 12 Steps, is GT any different from GA? Do GT members use the 12 Steps? I think many may do. On a different note, I like to meet people face to face. Sometimes I ask myself “Who am I talking to in GT and telling details of my life on the www?” Is it really “vera” you are taking to or am I a Nigerian scammer who dropped in to clear out all your bank accounts LOL or is Steev really Steev or a pair of 16 year old girls having a laugh? I’m sounding paranoid now but we do live in a strange world. Ever get suspicious , Steev? At least in GA what you see is what you get.

[vera]

Delighted to hear you are enjoying the sunshine on holidays, IDI. If you gamble a hundred you will miss out on something else but thankfully you didn’t miss out on your holiday.
For me, if I gamble a hundred, it always leads to at least a thousand so I can’t risk gambling a hundred. In fact, I can’t risk gambling at all. It costs too much and not just in monetary terms. It could even cost everything.
Any idea why you have urges to gamble every few minutes?
I never looked into SMART recovery. I just hang on to the tried and tested methods.
Maybe I’m a bit of a dinosaur . lol
ENJOY YOUR VACATION.

[vera]

Fair bit of driving, Steev. Weather in South West not great. Lots of power cuts.
I don’t hear much mention of the 12 Steps in GA.

[vera]

..is wealth, Monica.
I hope and pray your condition stabilizes soon. Don’t rush things. Let Nature take it’s course.
I went to a 60th birthday party tonight . I was uneasy going but I made the effort. Got the hair done. Donned the glad rags and told myself “you are still only 25” (although I felt 25 stone!) If you convince yourself , it works, (sometimes)
Every time I go out socially, I think “it would be so much easier to just go to the casino”. When you feel your dress is too short, your bra too tight, your heels too high , it has to be a sign you are getting old. I have no control over these feelings so off I headed and what do you know it turned out to be a wonderful night. Very cosy venue. Brilliant entertainment. Gourmet food. Great DJ. Everyone up dancing and the Birthday Girl looked younger tonight than she did ten years ago. I left around midnight because it’s stormy and I live in the country . I guess that party is still swinging.
I thought of you, Monica and sent you a Get Well prayer.
One day at a time.

[vera]

During the GA Meeting last night, which was powerful , I thought “Steev would have liked this”.
A lot depends on the atmosphere in the room, Steev.
Try a different group.
Are you still in Ireland?

[vera]

“BM” refers to the method of testing glucose levels, Monica. Hyperglycemia can be both a cause and result of dehydration. (Sorry for being technical). We often over look the simple things. Can you apply for Social Welfare if your employers don’t cover sick leave pay?

The last thing you need is money worries when you are ill.

[vera]

Just wondering should you be working when you are so dehydrated, Monica? Any fever. I think you would have high fever if you had DenV. Sorry to hear about Pete’s sister. Life is not a bed of roses. That’s for sure. Take it easy please. Keep an eye on the BM also.

[vera]

Well done, Beem.
2019 has been G free , so far, for me too.
Did a bit of selling today. Better than throwing money away.

[vera]

Thanks Monica, RG and Steve. Great to see posts when I open my thread! I agree, Steve. Some GA Groups are a bit “flat” and there is little empathy portrayed. I have done the rounds and the present Thursday night group seems to fulfill my need for some type of fellowship or connection. I still have no idea why GA works, or how. I do know when I attend the meetings, I don’t gamble. I just live for today.

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