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Still here Libbie?
I too, was kind of obsessed with finding out "why" for a long time. While I was looking for the answer (in casinos,of course) it was costing me time, money and health. Today, I tell myself I don’t have to find the cause. (I believe the root cause is very complex and we may never pinpoint the exact reason why we gamble) but what we CAN do is stop gambling. Stop self destructing . Stop asking. Maybe when we stop looking for thrills we will find peace. Real inner peace will give us all the answers we need Libbie.
Just for today, let’s not over analyse!If you hadn’t stopped gambling one day at a time, you would never have reached the hundreth day Ed, so all we have to do is not gamble
TODAYЕсли бы вы не прекращали играть один день за раз, вы бы никогда не дожили до сотого дня, Эд, поэтому все, что нам нужно делать, это не играть
СЕГОДНЯKathryn, I hope you will work out what you need to do sooner rather than later. You know Life’s Issues will never be worked out in a casino! We all tried that method and failed miserably!
I was startled when I read your post saying you were struggling with urges…I could visualise you spinning around with a phone in your hand with no one to reach out to. What a terrible place to be!
Kathryn, could you close the thread you opened for me please. I want to start a new thread next month. May 2008 was my starting date here. Five years "wasted". I have to get going for real this time.Safe journey on your trip to Debbie’s, Bettie!
(FWB didn’t waste time passing on gossip he knew would upset you B! Just forget what others say about you. It means they are using you to deflect from their own issues)
Enjoy your time with Debbie! Relax and have fun!Congratulations on 6 G-free months, Larry! ( plus 3 years!)
I will have to start running to catch up with you!What an image!!
I had just read this quote posted by Sherrie and was going to call your attention to in B to console you. I know you are very upset by the images on TV of the Bombings carried out by those cowards…
Never heard of Fred Rogers but now everyone will know him.B! Don’t watch the pictures . Just pray for the victims and the headcases who carried out such mindless acts!
they must be very sick people!
God help us all!Haven’t seen any post from you for nearly a week, IAM!
‘hope everything is ok. Let us know when you are ready please!Day 51!
Well done RTC!
I went to the first counselling session.
Made a B****S of it.
Took the wrong exit off the M50 and got totally lost.
Arrived half and hour late.
Stressed to the hilt.
Flustered .
Sick.
Anyone who knows me knows I "don’t do late!"
I just cannot function when I’m late.
I freeze and feel like screaming, swearing and or gambling when I’m late for anything. I soooo felt like saying "forget you ever set up an appointment with this looser", but I faced the music. Arrived LATE. Got a shortened session and answered whatever questions I was asked. I tried to be normal and polite but the first impression I left must have been B A D!
I drove down through the city on my way home . (I will never set foot on that bloody M 50 again.)
Saw a CASINO in Rathmines. A big flashing sign over the door. I felt like pakring the car on the kerb and smashing that sign to smithereens!
This is where gambling has led me!
That woman must have thought I was a nutcase!
My second appointment is for next Monday!
Guess this is all happening to show me the consequences of gambling !
I know for sure now that I am a goddam loser!– 15/04/2013 23:14:41: post edited by vera."Spoiled Brat" indeed, Ican!
Good name for a new thread!
I always feel like an undisciplined child when I allow myself to gamble. Rather, when I allow myself to indulge in self destructive bahaviour regardless of the effect it has on myself and others. That’s the reality of gambling! Self indulgence and self destruction in it’s lowest form. I am paying for my past destructive actions now Ican, yet I feel I haven’t been taught enough lessons. YET! (I think I ll start whacking myself with a whip!! lol!)
Cgs blame things like "triggers" "the Devil" even "God" for our weakness. We say things like "Why me?" "I cannot help myself" . "It’s the addiction!". These are the excuses I have used in the past when I want to gamble for my own "pleasure". We have to admit and accept, Ican, that for Cgs who have been given the "bag of recovery tools" there is NO EXCUSE to carry on gambling. In the early stages it is outside our control. When we continue to reject help and blame other issues for causing us to "slip" it is time for increased self discipline so from now on I will be the "Big Bad Mama" that you mentioned!
Ps Our "desires" come from our "Fallen Nature". Those "desires" ( meaning inordinate attachments) will be with us until we shake off our human form.We were given Free Will. We can resist those "desires" by surrounding ourselves with protective armour or indulge our base nature if that is what we want to do. The choice is ours! I can’t believe that I was taught that when I was seven years old! Looking back, I realise now I was given me a Map for Life then .The "ethos" I was raised in said at aged 7 a child reaches the "Use Of Reason". I understood it clearly then because young children are still untainted by the world’s attachments .I have mulled over that philosophy throughout my life and 50 odd years later, and from my CG experience especially I KNOW that this teaching is true!
"The root of all sorrow is desire. The uprooting of sorrow is desirelessness!"
Lots of food for thought there! If we could grasp it fully , we would never gamble again!
Awareness is the key!Happy to hear you have seen your new grand daughter Bonkers!
New life brings new hope!
Here’s to a G free future! Keep posting ! We need people like you to give HOPE to the stragglers!
Every time I read about your success I think , " I can do that!"
Thanks Bonkers! and thank God your job is safe too!Hope the weekend is going well for you Libbie!
Giving up gambling is not easy. I try to think of it as "saving my money" or " enjoying a simple life" rather than " doing without gambling"! That way, I fell less deprived! My salary went into my account on Thursday and so far has been used for "normal" expenses only. I really don’t know what causes us to gamble in such a destructive manner but I do know I spent thousands upon thousands while I was to trying to figure out why, usually did my analysing while sitting in casinos feeding machines and adding even greater confusion, chaos and havoc to my trauma. I think most of us will never find out why we do this crazy thing!
I was impressed by something Ican wrote on another thread. She said "My Cg is a spoilt brat!"
I know I feel like a spoiled brat when I refuse to discipline myself by saying no to the first urge. When I decide to gamble, flying bullets won’t hold me back or so I have convinced myself. This thinking is seriously flawed! There are lots of things that could hold us back and if we continue to indulge ourselves selfishly and irresponsibly we might just find out to our detriment. God forbid, we could be struck down with a heart attack from the stress, crash the car on our journey home or find ourselves totally destitute and then we would have to say a definite no to that "Spoilt Brat"! (On a few occasions I felt the casino spinning and I thought I would faint and be carried out from pure stress of losing money and exhaustion from spending twelve hours fasting and sitting in one position! Crazy carry on!)
We just have to admit we have crossed the line into a very dangerous zone, Libbie, and for TODAY that is a NO GO AREA! Unless we use stronger methods to deal with this addiction it will be our ruination. That’s one thing we know from experience. Changing external behaviour is only the tip of the iceberg I know but for now it will keep us safe!
Just for today, I will not gamble! I hope you are saying likewise!
Keep posting!Food for thought keeps our minds active Sherry! It’s always good to share our thoughts and reflect on our true motives!
Like you, I hate being broke but when I have money I tend to spend it on the wrong things sometimes. Above all I HATE being in debt but I will be for another few years to come so I just have to accept my lot in life!
I suppose thinking someone leaves because of something we said is a form of self flattery! We don’t really have that power at all! lol! I do know though that CGs (and people in general) can be sensitive and in weak moments I have gambled as a result of what I perceived as being ignored or overlooked. All my own issues I know but being aware of the underlying reasons for our actions is a good thing. ..
Nobody has the power to hurt us, unless we give them that power!Maybe we can change our "desires" to "preferences", Larry. In doing that we won’t be tied to any one possession.
We cannot have everything we want in this life , so maybe if we settle for what we CAN have instead of chasing what we CAN’T, life will be less complicated!