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Madge,
Would you consider taking some time out fro what comes across as a very stressful situation and let hubby take over for a week or two.
Book a hotel with a friend/sister and just switch off.
Looking back on times when my kids were young, I would snap at them when I was tired and annoyed. Then I would feel guilty and overcompensate. Then I would blame their father for my bad mood and he would blame me for their bad behaviour and looking back a lot of this could have been avoided if I had taken a step back….I always felt the place would fall asunder if I left for a break but the truth was it was falling asunder when I was there….I’m not blaming or judging you in any way Madge, just remembering whrn my kids were that age. They are in their 2o’s now They dont come home unless I threaten or bribe or use emotional blackmail on them. That scares me! The house my husband built is empty ! Why ? Because its not a home! Why? Because I created dysfunctional situations which later gave me an excuse to run to the casino to escape from the sadness/madness that seemed to get worse as the years went on.
I feel guilty now because MAYBE if I had removed myself more often from the firing line, I would not now be the scapegoat for my youngest son’s unruly behaviour ( which he tells everyone was caused by an overcontrolling mother), my middle son’s sloth (he has an honours degree in architecture and won’t even look for a job) , my daughter’s absence ( she moved to Sydney and will never contact her parent unless I chase her up, and when she comes home we always end up sparring and it’s ALWAYS my fault…..
If I had to do it all over again it would be different. Like you I was overwhelmed trying to be “all things to all men” and at the end of it all, I ended up escaping to casinos to torture myself….
Excuse the rant Madge…..All Im saying is TAKE A BREAK. It will do you the world of good.thinking about you Adele and wondering how did your counselling go?
thinking about you Adele and wondering how did your counselling go?
Amen to that for all of us, Ican!
“Gambling is for losers”, is my new mantra
I’m sick of what it has done to all of us!
Looking for inspiration not to gamble, Carole!?
If only you could see my Bank balance, my putty face,beady eyes, sagging tummy, fat ass, not to mention the mental, emotional, psychological, social and spiritual destruction you would quickly have a re think!
Gambling has aged me ten years!
And that’s only the last binge!
The long term gambling has caused equal long tern effects and all I can say is by God, I’ ve paid for my FUN!I would not inflict that TORTURE on my worst enemy Carole so PLEASE do not succumb to a temptation that will pass if you stay close to this site and cling on to every bit of help you can get.
If Danny is bugging you, just tell him to take a walk alone and bring your credit cards in his pocket!
Take a fool’s advice and don’t walk into the trap Carole.
You know how it will end up. No matter how much you win, you will leave a loser!
Get down on your knees and pray or scrub a floor . Anything but the self inflicted torture of gambling !mental telepathy, Carole!
My next post was planned for Sherry.
I hope you are ok too Sherry!
Give us an update soon.
I’m forcing myself to keep up the effort to post on this “new” site.
We owe it to each other and to GT.
Every day I say “I wonder how Cat is doing”
“What’s RG thinking about!”?
“Where is Bettie?”
I plan to read and write and then I get distracted.
I can’t blame the new site for all my absences.
Gambling and being bogged down with work issues have taken their toll too.
I hope you will come back and tell us about your wonderful G free experiences, Sherry and if you have a different story, you know where all the good listeners hang out.
We’ll be looking out for you!
Don’t be a stranger!The mention of “slipping away for the day with a fistful of cash” is an illusion Laura!
Think of slipping home at 3 in the morning with a fistful of cents, a splitting headache, a knot in the gut and the place spinning from overexposure to flashing lights and bells and casino smells!
The very thought at this very moment makes me feel ill.
The fact that I was “in action” recently, keeps the memory vivid enough to repel me from going again. Today!
Taking time off work as a release seems far more sensible.
I’ve been on sick leave for the last few weeks. The best thing I ever did! I can be objective now about the increased workload we’ve been landed with. The decrease in pay. The constant staff shortage. The long hours and in my case 80% of what I earn goes on debt repayment. This is no longer what I want to do! Its tantamount to slavery.
During this period of “detachment”, I have come to the conclusion that I’m passsed my sell by date, so I’ve decided to go for cost neutral early retirement.
The stress that this brings has taken it’s toll. It would be easier to slog on to the detriment of my health but I have made the decision now to let go!
How will I pay my debt?
How will I get on with hubby?
How will I fill my days?
I have no answers to these questions yet, but I do know I’m doing the right thing. I feel it in my bones.
So Laura, put your health first. Work is secondary to your well being.
Have a chat with your doctor and follow your heart.
One day at a time!Hi Adele!
I hope you are recovering from your pneumonia and that your hubby is taking it easy after his accident. I do believe things happen for a reason even though we may not be clear as to the reason at the time, or indeed ever. I doubt if there is any such thing as a co-incidence!
I can fully relate to “acting normally” while in the throes of addiction. As a CG, I learned well how to adjust my mask to appear normal and managed to fit in to lots of situations where I felt a total outsider and most of what was happening went over my head. Gambling numbs a CG and it most likely does the same to the people close to the CG. My question is which came first, the need to gamble or the need to wear masks?
Just being the Devil’s advocate here, for the sake of wider debate!
I would be very interested to hear how your marriage counselling goes. In hindsight, it is something we, as a couple should have done many years ago, but we survived without it….(Many people “survived” concentration camps too!)…I go to Gambling Counselling, but I have reservations about it….My husband went berserk when he heard the counsellor had requested to see him. His reaction is unprintable. He clearly says that my gambling has absolutely nothing to do with him, and scoffs at the idea of “recovery”, but having said that, he has claimed all throughout our marriage that most issues and conflicts are one sided . In other words , he lives in denial and I get the blame when things go wrong…most of the time refuses to communicate directly. He waits for weeks or months and when least expected he lashes out in rage (usually in company) and betrays or belittles me by making paranoid or sarcastic comments about my “infamous” past!
Very supportive!!! Just the excuse a CG needs to run for cover! lol!
Anyway, life goes on and I need to remind myself that I alone am responsible for the damage gambling created in my life, and believe you me, to describe that damage as painful is a gross understatement!
So, on that note, I will sign off by saying
“Just for today, I will not gamble!”because gambling solves none of Life’s problems!
Keep posting Adele. I pray for you every day!I have to applaud you on your stamina and perseverance, Adele!
You never give up! I have found your “tips” really helpful. without them, I think I would have abandoned GT by now.
So thanks for your time, interest and effort!Easily known you’re not a CG, because most CGs I know are impatient people…( except, “P”. She never gives up either!
Thinking of you today Lizbeth on your husband’s 58th birthday. so young!
(Its 15th here , but still 14th with you!)All very true Charles…but!
why is it so difficult to find older threads and why can’t we enter groups if we are late? If the sign “Full” appeared, I would accept that, but knowing that group is most likely empty, frustrates me. I feel like kicking down the door! lol!
One more question!
Any chance of making entry to a casino as difficult as entering GT!
Hard to teach old dogs new tricks!Great posts,P!
And thanks for posting to my thread and being so kind. You look out for everyone like a loving friend/sister!
I fully agree with all you say about the consequences of gambling.
Like you, I KNOW it’s costing me far more than money.
That scares me…
Am I going to spend the rest of my life self destructing under the guise of enjoyment and fun.
How warped is that?
I have to fix a mantra in my head “I cannot gamble”. Or maybe as you suggest forget we ever saw or heard a slot machine.
We can’t allow negative habits to rule us. If we pick up a red hot coal, we will quickly drop it. Same can be done with every destructive habit in our lives.
“What you are aware of, you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you!”
Every CG here is aware of the evil consequences ogf gambling….Talking about “AWARENESS”, has any one seen Geordie!??
I really miss his posts!OMG!
It did deliver!
My feet were crossed…or was it the cyber angels?Hi Ed!
This is my third attempt at posting. Fingers x’d it will “sail away” this time!
Sorry about your job loss, but there is a reason for everything. Travelling on the redundancy money sounds far more sensible than pushing it into slot machines…I’m looking into early retirement too. The work is not worth the pay anymore. Too many deductions and its taking its toll on my health…How am I dealing with the stress…sorry and ashamed to say, Im escaping into the “other world!”
Thanks for posting to my thread ten days ago….If this doesnt deliver, I will…SCREAM