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Geordie! Wow!
Seeing you here makes it all worthwhile!
Whether it’s a day, a week or a month!Good to have you back!
This is very upsetting for you, Lizbeth.
A few thoughts come to mind.
1. We can’t “buy” our kid’s love/affection. (I tried . It doesn’t work!)
2. Maybe it is time to involve a social worker or some third party in your grandson’s life. You have been giving FAR too much of your time/attention/money. I know you love that child Liz, but sometimes love means letting go….( I’ ve had to do that too….) Your daughter is playing you like a fiddle! How dare she, after all you have done. Her child would be in care if not for you and your husband. rip.
3. Parents who use a child as a “pawn” are guilty of abuse…
4. Immature adults ALWAYS blame others for their mess (usually the people closest and those who have done most for them- My ( failure to thrive) son says I am the source of all his grief….great to have someone to blame isn’t it!!)
5. Last but not least Liz,
GAMBLING WILL SOLVE NONE OF THIS MESS!
You can write letters to your grandson to stay in touch.Thanks Cat!!!
(We were both posting at the same time on Lizbeth’s thread.
I notice your response is more tolerant than mine! I’m a bit of a hard liner when it comes to rearing children . The new methods are very frustrating . I see kids kicking their parents for sweets at the check out now. Instant gratification is the name of the game. CGS recognise that a mile off!)Lizbeth, I am in shock even reading how your daughter has treated you so I can understand how you must be feeling right now. Children need consistent handling as we all know. The conflict that your daughter is creating for her son is very confusing. Using you, (his only stable force by the sound of things) as a scapegoat is very unfair.
Would you ask her to do some joint counselling so that both of you will be singing from the same hymn sheet at least in your dealings with the child?
This must be very stressful for you. It would be so easy to throw in the towel and gamble at a time like this but that would give your daughter serious ammunition against you.
Her way of dealing with the child is the easy way out Lizbeth. My own niece undermined my position with her 3 year old a few years ago when they were visiting my house and the child was playing up. I felt like strangling her so I know how you must feel.
The last thing children need is conflict!
Confront your daughter alone about this behaviour Liz and ask if , for the boy’s sake she could come to some agreement with you about her behaviour. It is very sad .I’m here by the skin of my teeth, Cat!
‘Hope others have faith in me, because some days I don’t have faith in myself.
I do, however have Faith in Someone greater than all of us!
Pray as if everything depends on God.
ACT as if everything depends on us….I’m off to the bank now to transfer more money out of my current account so that I don’t have easy access TODAY!Cat, you really are an inspiration!
Roll on April!Well said, Carole!
Amen to that!Very true Harry!
Mind gambling, i e plotting , planning, dreaming and scheming causes as much, if not more anxiety than the real thing. Having NO opportunity to gamble is the only road to freedom. Every other route is for losers!I hear you Madge on the messed up , dysfunctional family issues and your “failure to thrive ” husband, your “out of control” daughter and your “great expectations/going backwards”son……I’ve been through the lot and do you know what?
IT’S ALL MAMA’S FAULT!!!!
I have watched kids who grew up with my kids. The ones who’s parents DIDN’T do all the private schooling, all the extra curricular activities, all the taxiing etc etc and guess what ,they all have stress free lives, their now grown up kids are all in great jobs and ” living happily ever after”while I’m still chasing my sons up , wondering who they are with, paying their debts and rent arrears,while they continue to spit in my eye and the father says……… “It’s all you fault!!!”
Moral of the story Madge! MOTHERS CAN’T WIN, even those who try gambling as an escape!!!!
In my experience, you won’t change. You will just continue being a martyr for those kids….unless you lose your head some day and pull the proverbial rug from under everyone’s feet.
Try to see the funny side Madge!
You and I are probably the only ones not laughing!!!
And YES there are gambling establishments in the UK and in Ireland and a CG will sniff them out as soon as he sets foot on foreign soil…
Life is one BIG MYSTERY!THANKS, SAM!!!
Just thinking about you Sam and wondering how the job went this weekend.
Life is not a garden of roses for anybody , P. Don’t be fooled by external appearances or by other peoples’ behaviour, Many hide behind masks. Maybe you are comparing yourself to other people or maybe you have denied your own feelings for too long….anyway its good that you can now “feel” those feelings!
I’m becoming a bit of a recluse myself!
The casino is the only place I feel comfortable!Sorry to hear you are still having problems communicating your health needs at work, B, and well done one standing your ground. I know how you feel. I hate having to fight for my rights but in your case it is essential. I find it easier to take up others’ causes…maybe we feel we are undeserving of special attention. Anyway you did what you had to do, so well done!
A reading of 400 would be equivalent to about 22mmol/L if my calculation is right, B! Dangerous level so early in the morning. I’m glad you noticed it. You need to carry back up supplies all the time !
What date is your birthday, B? Good that you are taking a week off. Even if you stay at home and spoil yourself, it will be your “special treat”to you.!
I’m delighted you got your bonus. What a lively treat for your co workers to have lunch bought for them! I hope they return the compliment when the “boat comes in” for them!Not quite March, yet in Ireland, Cat! Thirty minutes to go!
Not alone will we be celebrating St Patrick’s Day worldwide, but next Wednesday is Ash Wednesday. I don’t know how many people here acknowledge Lent, but it’s also a time of making changes in our lives….”memento homo quia pulvis es….”
Third month of 2014 already…..
Time flies !Sherry shared the following “tactic” here in the past….put your money/cards in the freezer ( wrapped in foil I would guess)
I never tried this but it worked for Sherry!