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Accepting the loss is a big step in recovery, Murr.
Admitting we are powerless over gambling and our lives have become unmanageable is Step One
but
remember, we are ONLY powerless when we place that first bet.
Your final line should be up in lights!

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Thanks for posting to my thread, Meghna and well done on 69 G free days.
The reason today is so difficult for me is because I had a very good “Withdrawal Pending”which would have been cleared today.
I reversed . Lost heavily and chased it.
‘Nuff said!
Sick to my heart over it . I really needed that money.

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Congrats on your second session, IDI and on saying no to a trip to the slots with your mam. That must have been difficult. I always gambled alone in casinos (hellholes) but lots of families seem to go on “slot outings”. On my most recent visit, I met a couple who go to every casino I ever visited. The guy latches on to me, telling me all his health issues and the wife watches my machine, passing comments on my losses .I feel like screaming “Leave me alone!” Talk about denial. All I want is “peace” when I’m gambling. What a joke!

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Our posts crossed, Monica. While you were writing to me, I was doing likewise on your thread. Have a look!

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Its great to hear you cooked Sunday lunch for the family, Monica.
Didn’t know you cooked!
Waiting 45 minutes for Pete!
Methinks you would wait forever for that guy.
The only way you will block that game is by installing a mental block in your brain.
I play “Snake” incessantly on my little phone.
In my opinion it is “dry gambling”
It leads me back to real gambling.
Be careful!

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Thanks for your encouraging post, RG but the reality is,I have regressed badly in every way, which makes it difficult to measure progress.

The losses with online gambling are alarming. Yes, I lost hand over fist in casinos but it took longer . The shock of a huge sudden wipe out has had a devastating effect on my health.

Health and Time are far more important than money and these have been my greatest loss. I hope and pray that the damage is reversible. In the meantime I will have to learn how to roll with the punches.

When we stoop to putting nails in our own coffin it is very difficult to recommit to recovery.

Keep hobbling. I will drag myself along at your side.

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Well done on living a gamble free 19 days, Jen.
Think of how awful you would feel hearing about your friends’ passing and illnesses.
The sad part is , we don’t give a toss about others when we are “in the throes”.
Time is far more precious than money.
All the money in the world won’t buy an extra hour.
Keeping that in mind, one this my Day One, I once again ( for the thousandth time), reiterate my vow
“Just for today, I will not gamble”
GOD GIVE US THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS WE CANNOT CHANGE…

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In the aftermath of a big loss, it haunts us, Murr. The open wound remains raw, until we allow it to heal. Time heals (somewhat). Accepting that the money is gone forever is really painful. Exposing a wound helps too. Well done on coming clean with your family. Secrecy destroys us. Keep reading Jen’s advice and I will too. I begged God for wins. Now is the time to ask Him to blank out the awful memories. Thankfully, the human mind has the ability to obliterate pain. Congrats on your new job and best wishes with your counselling appointment . When I had a HUGE loss in 2015, a member here suggested that I should make a Plan. I saveda lot by putting smallish amounts away every month. Sadly, like you, the bank allowed me to transfer my hard earned savings and like a FOOL, I bequeathed it to some faceless fat cat……

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Thanks to all who posted.
Charles, I have to psych myself up to return to GA. Apart from gambling, there are genuine reasons for my non attendance of late.
Kin, you are always there for me. I appreciate that.
Jen, despite your own issues, I notice you take time to support other members. I take solace from your post on Murr’s thread.
I am TORTURED , dwelling on a BIG “win”that I foolishly dwindled down to “insufficient balance”.
Gambling stresses me.
Stress makes me physically ill.
In my book that’s sinful! Self abuse and I even have the audacity to beg God for another chance. Another “win”. Yea! right! For what? So that I can continue the self abuse.
God’s Ways are not ours. We need to conform to His Will , instead of trying to manipulate Him.
Lizbeth, sorry for neglecting you. I have kept up to date with your thread and all I can say is you have my admiration. I hope to take a leaf from your book and COP ON to myself!
I’m ill from gambling.
Murrs, I know exactly how you feel about reliving the loss. I can actually see the symbols spinning in my head all day and all night. When I managed to get (induced) sleep, I jump up with my heart pounding , lathered in perspiration. asking myself “was it just a nightmare that I lost AGAIN?
No, it’s REAL.
We gambled.
We lost.
The money is not coming back. Ever.
Time to cut our losses.
Back to the drawing board.
GAMBLING COMES WITH A HEAVY PRICE TAG.

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Very well said, Megna.
Trust in Providence.
Saying NO to the first gambling thought is the answer.
That is what I am attempting to do today.
One day at a time leads to “FOREVER”.

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…thanks to everyone who posted.
I have one foot in hell and the other in reality.
Two hours approximately since my last bet.
Where do I go from here?
I’ve been around this place for too long.

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Jen,
I dragged myself to the 2 am group, to look for you.Saw your name but you weren’t there.
Met another member.
I guess we meet the person we are meant to meet.
More later.
I’m wrecked.

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I hear you, Murr.
From the depths of my gambling fugue, I have been dipping in and out of your thread.
I’m in a similar place to you right now but nobody knows.
I’m old enough to be your mother …………..

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Good to meet you in the Group, amgo77.
You have brought me back to reality.
I wish you all the best in recovery.
Gambling is a total waste of time and money.
Stay focused.

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Get rid of the smartphone and use the “brick” phone.
if I had a Smart phone, I would be in prison now.
Like carrying a loaded shot gun in your pocket when you gamble online.

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