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If you really believe that your dream will come true, then nobody can stop you gambling Happa. Playing poker for money IS gambling. Eventually CGs lose so maybe you will update this thread regularly to let the readers know how you are doing. Winning or losing?
Poker, or any other form of gambling for a CG , does not mean FREEDOM. It means SLAVERY!
I am sad to hear you have no friends, no hope, or no life without gambling.
Will gambling give you any of those things?
I can tell you it will not! On the contrary it takes EVERYTHING from us……………Good to meet you in the group a few days ago, Happa!
Like you, I am a compulsive gambler.
The disease doesn’t go away.
Recovery will not come to us unless we reach out for it.
Nobody can persuade us to stop gambling unless we want to….
I smiled when you referred to gambling as a way to “generate a nice income”….I generated a nice income from gambling but it went TO THE CASINO OWNER!
Don’t try to “whitewash” this terrible addiction!
I’m a lot older but maybe not so much wiser than you and I can tell you that gambling will ruin your life and it will all end in tears so listen to the advice that you are getting here on GT and live your life in peace.
You seem like a very intelligent young man but the addiction is not fussy. It grabs the young the old the rich the poor. No escape once you are sucked in.
Just for TODAY do not gamble!Very nice of that lady to pass on her deceased husband’s compliment to you B. Its the little things in life that count!
How’s the cat?
My son has his second dental appointment on Monday next. Root canal treatment! All very expensive whether human or animal!
At least the cat won’t have to worry about the cost!!!When is Jen moving?
Thinking of you Carole and hoping everything worked out well for your mother?
Are you spending some holiday time with your grand children? The junior schools close in Ireland end of next week. I always loved that sense of freedom when my children were young. No nagging about homework or getting up in the mornings (not that they ever listened anyway!)
Life moves on fast Carole. I went to another “Retirement” do last night. All the ex work colleagues were there. Seems like another life now. Another one taking early retirement to get away from the stress and work overload. I’m glad I’m not in the thick of that now. I have NO reason to gamble anymore!!! ‘Hope you feel the same Carole!
ODAAT!Glad your daughter got on the flight eventually, Lizbeth. It’s always a worry when our children are travelling no matter what age they are. At least she is not alone. My daughter when on an climbing/ trekking expedition a few months ago in Nepal! Scary to see some of the photographs but also very good to know that our “children”are doing things we never had the opportunity or nerve to do. I’m speaking for myself! I think laziness prevents me from doing most things, unlike you, Liz. Your energy and drive never cease to amaze me!
Long may it last!Welcome to GT , Phoenix!
The weekends are quiet here so expect more responses on Monday!
I was amazed at your story! You sure have some bitter-sweet memories associated with gambling, and as you point out in your second post, when we become indisciplined in one area of our lives, it has on a knock on effect to every other area.
Gambling makes us selfish, deceitful, preoccupied with our own needs, sluggish regarding diet and exercise. Our daily routines become chaotic and it is not unusual for a CG to resort to comfort eating and self medicating. We can spend our lives escaping and looking for new “crutches” or, like you are doing, we can start again. Its not easy, but it is possible to begin a new life.
Just one thing struck me from your posts. You seem to be taking on a lot all in one go! Would you ever consider going into rehab, e g Gordan House?
You are still a young man Phoenix and I applaud you for posting your story here. You have my support and admiration!
ONE DAY AT A TIME IS THE ONLY WAY!
Keep posting!I take Nomore’s point about mothers leaving children outside the casino….I have often seen very young children open the door to the “no go area” for them, calling “Mammy, will you come out please!” I know my “children” who were in their teens when I started gambling heavily did not like me going. My youngest, now in his 20s would get very angry. My older son said he “didn’t mind!” (He hates conflict) !When I went to counselling there were six sessions available free of charge for any family member affected by my gambling. All refused to attend.
I guess I” protected “them well!!!
The memories that haunt me though are those when my cell phone kept ringing and ringing and I kept knocking it off to prevent the caller (always my youngest son) from hearing the casino sounds in the background! I still feel sick when I think of the nights I left my sons waiting at various pick up points for hours in the dark and in the rain. I don’t know why that still haunts me but it does.
I remember sitting beside a woman who was nine months pregnant , barely able to balance on the stool, thinking “Her gambling days will be over soon!”. Six weeks later she was perched on the same stool with all her cronies congratulating her on the birth of her baby girl and her husband pleading with her on the mobile phone to come home and feed the baby. I must say it did baffle me to hear her tell him to “give her the soother, I won’t be long!” Proves that gambling has the first call on a CG. ALWAYS!
I hope and pray James, that your decision to move out/on will serve as a wake up call to your wife and bring her to her senses.
She, of course has her own side of the story to tell. Some CGs gamble to escape unhappiness and loneliness in their lives.
“Gambling runs lives”is the only FACT we can state with certainty. Every one has his/her own story. Some have a happy ending. Some end in tears!Good to have met you in the group Steph!
Stopping gambling helps to clear our heads. When we are in the throes of the game we can’t see the wood for the trees. Well done on coming clean with your husband and well done to him for supporting you. You sound very determined!
When I first came here in 2008 I was advised by Lee to postpone the next bet. I didn’t always follow the advice but I do know it works!
Just try it.
One day at a time!Stark reminder of what gambling does to CGs, Bonkers!
“There but for the grace of God go I!”
My son had to go to the dentist today, B!
Same price for a cat as for a human! Crazy!
Casino owners must have perfect, shiny, flashy teeth!!!!lol!Ideally your wife should be self banning, James but maybe at this point, she is not able to do that.
I think 99% of people here will advise you not to get involved, but, personally, I would have been VERY grateful if my husband had taken that step. It would have saved me lots of grief, stress, and thousands of euro! I would see it as intervention. CGs sometimes need others to move in and help in the same way you would take the victim of a car accident to a hospital.
I know of a woman who’s husband had her banned. She never darkened the door of those casinos again and it made her realize she was becoming infamous! The security guy raised his voice and said “OUT!” the first time she entered and with all the customers turning their heads to look at her it sure made her leave fast!
It only took one visit to get her to stop…..
Getting your wife to join GT, as Velvet suggested would be a very positive move.Glad to read you are recovering Lizbeth! Seven pounds is a lot to lose in one week!
One thing stuck me about your recent posts. You are bending over backwards to help your daughter, yet you refuse to take the help your own mother offers! Interesting!
My heart went out to you reading about your daughter coming to seek help and then disappearing before she made enough progress! There is a line in a poem that I love and that came to mind when I read your story…
“Lord, thou art hard on mothers!
We suffer in their coming and their going.”Hello James!
I am a CG.
If you were my husband, I would hope that you would have me banned from the casino and report those illegal moneylenders to the police!
She is dealing with criminals! She must be desperate for money.
Maybe she needs to go to rehab?
I fully understand how distressing all this is for you especially when you have a young baby.
Every time my husband discovered I was gambling behind his back, I would immediately “attack” him and throw up all his bad points . That’s a CG’s defence.
I hope and pray things work out for you and your little family.
Divorce is not the answer to gambling addiction!
There is a lot of help available!Loneliness is a HUGE factor in gambling, Carole!
Yet, gambling never fulfilled my loneliness!!
Looking in the wrong places is a common error!
(Go easy on the drink, if you start!)Hi Luke and welcome to GT!
Sitting, penniless in the aftermath of a gambling outburst is probably one of the worst and one of the best places we could ever find ourselves.
Worst, because of the pain, guilt,remorse and shock .
Best, because from this point onwards things can only get better . (That is, of course if we sincerely want to avoid a repeat of recent ‘mistakes’)
Here lies the ten dollar question Luke!
Do we want to stop?
As a CG , I must be honest and say I never really wanted to stop gambling! I just HAD to stop! Of course I have had my moments similar to your above description of the “hangover”, when I swore “never again, this is it”or sentiments to that effect, BUT (and there is always a ‘but’) the human mind has the capacity to obliterate the pain and loss that gambling brings and in time a CG succumbs to the addiction and the habit of doing all the old familiar things and visiting the comfort zones creeps up again and in the blink of an eye we find ourselves back to where we started and the cycle continues secula seculorum . That, Luke is the reality of this progressive “illness”unless of course we get wise fast (something I regret not doing) and reach out for the bag of tools GT gives and one day at a time, learn to use those tools to implement change….
Recovery comes ONLY when we change. “What did you do differently” will become a regular question …..
My advice for now is to grasp this chance of recovery and don’t wait until the time comes when you look back with regret and say
“It’s such an old habit, I do it without heeding!”Keep reading. Keep posting!