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It seems that your mother is going through a really tough time, Lizbeth. Gambling probably creates all the nastiness she displays towards her family. Fear is at the root of it. Most Cgs have been where she is. Being her daughter you would find it difficult to be objective, I think. I will pray she gets help. Would she agree to talk to a gambling counsellor now that she is at a low ebb and before her next cheque comes in?
As a CG , my guess is James that your wife suddenly realizes you are no longer there to “support” her and sadly she sees the child as an obstacle to her gambling.
CGs don’t want to be tied down in any way when we are in the “active phase”.
Having responsibility for a baby would seriously “cramp our style”.
Ignore her threats. Look on them as “the sting of a dying wasp”! They mean she is feeling trapped. Do what is best for your child and yourself. Odaat!Brilliant post, Screwball!
Good luck in recovery!
One day at a time!Congratulations Lizbeth!
I am in awe of all you do for your daughter and grandson! “Gobsmacked” as they say!I think I would be generous to my kids if I had money.My husband says I gave them too much! Made them selfish and greedy! Hard to strike a right balance! I hope it all works out for you . Far far better than losing it in the casinos . I certainly could have bought a very good house for what I lost….
Will the house be in your daughter’s name? Just curious!Well done on 40 G free days!
Just keep postponing that next bet. You are doing really well!
Good luck in GH. You will be given Tools for Life there!
Use them one day at a time!
You have a great life ahead.WELCOME BACK SAM!
I was really worried about you! I knew you had planned a trip home in May. I was wondering if you were ever coming back!
Great to hear from you!‘Hope you are recovering today, Carole! My sister had the same procedure yesterday which was far from pleasant for her. (She has underlying health problems) Today, she said she feels a bit better. ‘Hope you do too!
Enjoy your holiday, Charles!
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!
See you when you get back!‘Hope the colonoscopy goes well Carole! The “fleet” medication and the pre test fast is the worst part. My sister had that test today. She is home now but still groggy!
I am ASTOUNDED at Danny’s lack of concern and support!
What happened to “in sickness and in health “part of his marriage vow?
What I feel like saying would not be printable.
I hope some concerned family member collects you after the procedure and shows you a lot of TLC when you get home.
No question of you driving yourself.(On a lighter note, wouldn’t that ex prep be a great barrier to keep a CG out of the casinos?)
‘Hope you are staying focussed and working on your recovery plan, one day at a time. Breaking it down into small “lots” is far less overwhelming than trying to face it all together and deal with it in one go.
Give us an update when you are ready!
Remember,
Rome wasn’t built in a day!!!‘Hope you are not overdoing things, Lizbeth!
I wish I had half your energy. I was just wondering lately why I get so exhausted? Apart from being over weight, lazy as hell and having a few minor medical ailments, I think the stress of debt and remembering all the money I lost takes my energy away. It drains me!
Thank God you have no money worries, Liz. Your dear husband looked after you well and now you have an easy mind. Thank God, I am not short of anything but, I believe I won’t be totally free until all my debt is paid.
The day my father in law was dying, the priest went to give him the Last Rites. At his funeral, the priest said he told him “I owe nobody a penny!” What a relief to know that as you pass from Life to Eternity!
Its my prayer for all here, that we will be G -free and debt free!
I’m going on holidays on July 1st so I will have another week under my belt by the end of 1st week in July. June has been a G free month! ODAAT!((((Carole))))
I feel for you now about that issue with your friend and her wayward husband! It is not easy to do the right thing in a situation you describe , which I think you did i. e tell her what everybody else most likely knows anyway (the wife is always the last to know)! Having to face him and listen to his threats can’t be easy! Every bully is a coward though, so I guess he will back off fast if you “square up” to him!
Glad your mom is being looked after but of course it is a big stress factor for you, especially if it brings back memories of your father. …….Talking about memories, I had my son’s G/F here at the weekend . She opened up a lot about her (private) situation. You know the story! All I could do was listen and say “none of us can change the past”……..My God, what memories!!!! My youngest son turned up too as it was their father’s birthday. Luckily some other family members came too (ten in all) otherwise I would have had to RUN to the nearest casino to escape from the bully boy! His visit was pre- announced with a very loud , aggressive phone call. I knew this was heading for yet another spoiled event. Spoiled brats try to spoil everyone’s lives! His mood switched however, when he saw there were more people here than he expected but I did get a fair lash of his tongue the next day. The girl in question had tears in her eyes. She said her dad always treated his mother in that aggressive and abusive manner and went on to treat her mum the same way………I dropped them all back to the city yesterday pm and I was very nearly spoiling my G free June, but I had barriers up so thank God I made it home “intact”! Tomorrow is the 30th. We are going to the UK on holidays on Tuesday so every minute between now and then will be accounted for between clearing up here , looking for clothes to pack, passports etc and I have a few business chores to do tomorrow too, so I think I can safely say, June has been a G free month. The last day I gambled was May 27th. My son was home that day. Co incidence? He sent me a text after midnight last night saying he needs help with his anger and he wises he could be more helpful and respectful to his parents!!! I gave him a few pointers . No word since! Time will tell. I pray every day that he will come back to the right road! Miracles DO happen!
Well done on resisting the urge to gamble, Carole. Gambling will make matters even more complicated as you well know!Don’t jump the gun B!
Jen is probably up in a heap too!
I never want to visit my daughter or my sons in their new homes. They all share with other young people and they keep moving from one place to another and the other renters keep changing. My daughter is in Australia. She has never once invited her father and I to come to visit her. Don’t take it to heart B. If you want to go to visit Jen, why not arrange for you and her to have a “mother/daughter ” night in a hotel for a weekend after she has settled in. I’m sure she will love the break from the b/f at some stage !!!! You are free to visit at any time . Just let her know in advance! If she objects, take it from there when it happens.
Why does her B/F not pay a cleaner to leave the apartment in order when they leave. That is not your task!!!I wish a charming prince would appear on your doorstep, B and whisk you away from that job, treat you like a queen and take you to live near Jen where you could be all one big happy family, but as we know real life is not a bed of roses so I will just pray you will get a fair deal, the health to keep working for as long as you need and the strength to stay away from casinos one day at a time!((((((((x))))))))))
Velvet is right James!
You won’t get answers to legal issues here. Every country has its own laws in relation to child custody and marital breakdown. However, I think it is very helpful for you to express all your feelings and concerns surrounding this disconcerting matter.
The mother /child relationship is a very strong bond and in most cultures it is almost revered. Irish Law always gave the mother priority custody until recently. Now the father’s rights are taken into consideration more which is a good thing (sometimes). I worked with “disturbed” children for 5 years . Of course it was mainly the parents who had problems and it was manifested in the children’s behaviour. I saw children from very troubled backgrounds having decisions made for them by court judges which often shocked me. The only advice I would give you is to keep your business strictly between yourself and your lawyer until decisions are made. Involving extended family members will create emotional responses and arguments which may be picked up by your daughter. She is at a very sensitive age for change. Try to keep her routine as normal as possible to protect her from this trauma.
As a mother I would say your wife should be the primary carer of her baby.
As a CG, I would say “don’t gamble with your child’s safety”!!!
With the best of intentions the CG aspect of your wife’s personality could over rule her intentions to be the best mother in the world!
Ensure your lawyer knows ALL her CG history. You will need documented evidence!
I feel very sad to see what gambling has done to your little family!