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Thank God that lump was benign, Cat! You were very courageous to have it investigated. I am a coward when it comes to things like that. I’d rather put one leg up on a stool in a casino and play slots to my heart’s content , pretending that leg belonged to someone else!!! How flawed is that!
Strange how hubby stopped drinking just like that. ….is he getting help? I believe my father did the very same. After years of heartbreak and grief, but before my time…
I notice you speak in the plural a lot Cat! Preparing for the idyllic “pipe n slippers” retirement?? Plan it well, Cat. It was different for me. I only worked since 2005, following a 19 year career break.
Great to see a post from you!SO pleased for you Bettie!
Your brother must be looking down with a beam on his face from ear to ear!I have thought of you often, Jilly and wondered how you and your CG had fared out.
I always say the only thing worse than being a CG would be to be married to a CG! I don’t think I could even imagine the disastrous financial/emotional effect it would have on family, business or personal life. In your case Jilly, all the “eggs were in one basket” which made it even more difficult for you to deal with. I feel both glad and sad for you. Ending a marriage is never easy; maybe it’s just as well the decision was made for you indirectly in the end.
My bet is, he’ll be back….watch this space!!
One thing we must always remember is that there is a VAST difference between a CG in recovery and a CG who makes no attempt whatsoever to change his life!
I wish you all the best for the future Jilly. Now, more than ever, you will need to live life one day at a time!
Stay strong!Hi SB!
I wrote a long post earlier today…..pressed send and off it went into cyber space!!! Hate that!
Anyway, the gist of what I was saying is “WE CAN’T BUY OUR KIDS”, but you are well aware of that….also suggested that you might try counselling or family therapy. They are your kids. Under the law you have Father’s Rights (and of course duties which most likely were neglected due to the big G) If your ex doesn’t agree to the above maybe you could get a family member or GA buddy to do a bit of intervention on your behalf ….hate to admit it but some separated mums are *itches for turning the kids off their dad, and some married ones too!! Terrible to see them being used as pawns . Give them space for now is what I would say but keep in touch and in the picture. You don’t want some new guy up on Facebook with your children.
They will see things a bit more clearly as time goes on, but in the meantime, I know its heartbreaking for you. I know a few men in your situation.
The main theme of my message is stay in touch with them. Text them. Send them a letter or card. Go to the school parent/teacher meetings/concerts/sports days etc etc . Meet them whenever you can Birthdays etc.and if necessary get legal counsel!
And of course
don’t gamble!WOW! Danny!
Great progress!
From rags to riches!
True riches!. I have 2 sons who are into music. Wish one of them could get into the course you’re doing. He’s a great drummer but a bit of a “boyo”!
’nuff said!
Keep you chin up. Be proud! You can go it
ODAAT!
Me?
3 weeks G free today!Point taken Elder!
Live group starting in 20 mins.
see Support Groups aboveEvery CG “goes missing”, Elder….think about it!!!!!
I get you on the lack of support Elder…
I was let down there too. However, when I went missing in action, “significant other” would have no problem making a nasty comment with words like “Why am I not surprised?”!
To be honest, I don’t blame ANYONE for not trusting a CG. Sometimes I don’t trust myself.
As Janey says the group this evening would be a help.
Maybe we will “meet” there!
Cheaper than the casino and you can be guaranteed a “buzz”!Hi C-Noel,
We met in chat about a week ago.
I just want to give you another “tool” that might help you.
I watched a few youtube self hypnosis sessions tonight and for the last week. They really are helping.
Just instil the anti gambling thoughts into you subconscious mind and learn to STOP and ASK yourself….”Do I want to gamble, do I REALLY want to gamble, etc” …give it a try .
I’m trying EVERYTHING to stop …..also reading a book called Gripped by Gambling……get that book
We need to make it IMPOSSIBLE to gamble because when we succumb to the FIRST thought, NOTHING will stop us.
Today, I am 2 weeks G free.
I’m changing my mindset towards gambling TOTALLY
If I can stop, anyone can!
Never give up trying Noel!Caring for two grandchildren for a week can’t be easy Carole! Why not let them pretend they are in charge and looking after grandma! Get them to do the cooking , wash up etc! I used to try that trick with my children but they were a bit older than 5 and 9! They saw through my game fairly quickly though! Subsequently, or even consequently, they all abandoned me!!!!!!
I just read every word too, Lorraine.
“No law or court in the land would punish a CG more than we punish ourselves” were the words that stood out to me.
We invite further punishment when we commit more crimes. Gambling is the greatest crime a CG commits. Offender and victim combined.
We can stop this cycle odaat Lorraine.
Is there any chance you could change your living arrangements?
Listening to others CGs is bound to pull you down.
Stay strong!
You really are a very strong person to be able to deal with so many problems.
I feel guilty because I have a very easy life compared to you!Great progress SB!
I’m happy that you are seeing the benefits of not gambling!
Don’t overdo it with the kids. Try to keep it normal or they might think its “Dad trying to buy us back!” I’ve heard that said before….
Keep it simple!
Rome wasn’t built in a day!Carole, you have a job! You are self employed, running a very successful boarding house by all accounts. Is Danny jealous as well as controlling ?
Maybe you too need to draw up a” work description and salary” agreement!
When you were gone, did he not have to pay someone to do your job?