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Glad to hear things are on the up and up Carole!
If I had no water I would go nuts!!!! I’m bad enough as I am!!
I had arranged to meet a friend (ex work colleague) at midday one day last week. When we met, she told me they had phoned her from work at 7 am to come in on overtime that day! She turned it down because of our arrangement! I did that a few times too. People before money! However, I have been left in the lurch a few times by other so called friends when something better turned up. We live and learn, Carole! Next day my friend texted me to say she has been offered a whole week of nights next week they are so short staffed!! I’m delighted for her! he needs the money! Unheard of to get 7 nights OT but the new boss who took over before I left has left a trail of destruction. Five staff left since I left! She is impossible to work with, it seems. Even agency staff cancel after one shift with her! I often wonder how these people are given positions of authority ? The world seems to have turned upside down!
I hope things work out for Nicole and that she follows your sound advice Carole! You are a wonderful grandmother to her!Glad to hear things are becoming calmer in your home kpat. When my son started those teenage antics I was the only one who corrected him, so I quickly became the big bad wolf. My husband let me down very badly in that area. I can’t stand wimps but there is no going back now. My son was like an angel at Christmas. Kissing and hugging me and saying he loved me!!? He knows right from wrong. He was reared to honour his parents but when he sees us dishonouring each other and ourselves, I suppose it becomes confusing. If I had my life all over I would not marry a weak man!!!! I just look at all the work my husband does though and knowing he pays all the bills is a consolation. For that, I count my blessings daily! Things could be much worse! Gambling puts us on the back foot for sure .
Nip that boy in the bud kpat!
He will think all the more of you . Even if you have to stand on a chair to eyeball him!!!
I’m laughing at you giving your $20 to two guys who are most likely addicts!!!! Talk about the blind leading the blind!!!Glad to hear things are becoming calmer in your home kpat. When my son started those teenage antics I was the only one who corrected him, so I quickly became the big bad wolf. My husband let me down very badly in that area. I can’t stand wimps but there is no going back now. My son was like an angel at Christmas. Kissing and hugging me and saying he loved me!!? He knows right from wrong. He was reared to honour his parents but when he sees us dishonouring each other and ourselves, I suppose it becomes confusing. If I had my life all over I would not marry a weak man!!!! I just look at all the work my husband does though and knowing he pays all the bills is a consolation. For that, I count my blessings daily! Things could be much worse! Gambling puts us on the back foot for sure .
Nip that boy in the bud kpat!
He will think all the more of you . Even if you have to stand on a chair to eyeball him!!!
I’m laughing at you giving your $20 to two guys who are most likely addicts!!!! Talk about the blind leading the blind!!!Welcome back Carole!
I was delighted to hear you spent a family holiday in Mexico! Seems as if you had a lot of family there. Personally, I would prefer a smaller group. I don’t like crowds!
The thought of coming back to frozen pipes would not appeal to me! I am so much into comfort zones, I refuse to leave the bed if we hit zero. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you taking laundry etc to the renter’s house. The only consolation is from now on the days will be getting longer and the ice melting, I hope!
I hope and pray things will improve for your son in law. At least in Danny’s case he would be nearer retirement age but a young family need to have security. I suppose a week on /week off would be far better than having to look for another job though. They could adjust to that if it was the only option.
I have tried again to e mail you Carole with no success .
Do you still have my email address?
If you wish to send me an email I would be very happy to respond!
Take care and try to find a cozy corner where you can snuggle up with your cats until the thaw comes!“His dad set him straight”!
WOW!
How I wish my son’s dad had done likewise when he started his antics at that age!
Knowing the boundaries is half the battle.
My son never learned and guess what?
It’s all my fault!!!!
We mothers sure need strong men to teach our sons to respect us.
If not we have to wait for Divine intervention!
God help your family this day kpat!I just spent ten minutes writing a post to you Lizbeth and LOST IT!!!!I want to howl!!!
Here goes again but I will make it shorter this time.
From what I read, the biggest stress in your life is you mam
You coped with your husband’s illness and untimely death. Recovered from a heart attack. Sorted your two daughter’s problems. Knew when to “hold on” and “let go” of your grandson and youngest daughter but are still overwhelmed by your mom’s issues.
Would she agree to have a hearing test to explain why she accuses you of saying things you did or didn’t say, or to have a scan to rule out some type of dementia? I say this with respect and reserve, Lizbeth but her memory loss may be indicative of some cerebral changes. Lots of therapies available nowadays
Step back. Involve the whole family. Don’t allow yourself to carry the full burden of your mother’s future alone. I gather you are not her only child!
Keeping you in the prayers Liz!
God is good!
PRAYING THIS “DELIVERS”!!!!Hi WC!
Where did the last “next bet” lead you?
Do you REALLY think a CG will win?
Ever?
If we did we would be sailing a yacht in the blue seas somewhere, not scratching our heads on a Recovery Site , pondering how to get out of debt!!
Remember the “Permissions” Topic?
This is your test!
Every time I tried that “next bet” I failed with flying colours!
Change your mindset before the thought becomes an action!
Well done on posting!Hi Killing it and welcome to GT!
I just read your Thread from start to finish and found it both interesting and exciting! Interesting, because you give a very accurate description of what gambling does to a CG and exciting, in the way you hold out hope for yourself and others!
Without hope, none of us can continue our journey!
I’m an old timer here in more ways than one ! I joined GT in 2008 when I realized I had gambled more than I could earn in what was left of my working career. When I was down 20k, I blinked my eyes and another zero, plus 5 years had been added to my debt and to my life! At that point I hadn’t started to reckon the havoc which was eroding my relationships. I was too busy securing ammunition for my next bet! As you aptly describe, CGs become desensitized to huge losses. In the early days I could go to a casino with €50 and spend the day “having fun”. Nowadays, I wouldn’t bother venturing in with anything less than five hundred! Yet, if I could save €5 by using a shopping voucher, I would be first in the queue! Does that make sense?
Herein, lies the first method we can use to stop gambling. DO NOT CARRY MONEY OR CREDIT CARDS. You have referred to that in one of your posts.
I have stopped gambling and started again many times! I “white knuckled” my way trough 2010, only to explode at the middle of January 2011 and I never succeeded in getting that much G -free time since. My experience would serve to prove that what Charles has written about setting goals to be 100% accurate. “What we renounce, we are tied to” is a quote from Anthony de Mello’s book called “Wake up to Life”. I would strongly recommend that book to you. In fact it comes on CD (several cds actually , so days /weeks of enjoyable listening !). It is based on a four day conference held in the ’80s. I would go as far as to say, that finding it was one of the best experiences of my life. Like Allen Carr’s book, it changes your perspective , not only on gambling but on LIFE!
Gambling, as Allen Carr says, is an illusion. It traps us and enslaves us and although I am very impressed with his alternative techniques (I’m reading his book for the last few days), I think we all know that no book can stop a compulsive gambler in his/her tracks until the right time comes. For me, that comes by God’s Grace!
We really need to make it impossible to gamble especially in the early days. Having NO money, LIMITED time and even less opportunity will eventually lead us to a place and a mindset where we will ask “why do I need this ‘demon/monster’ in my life?”
De Mello highlights many similar illusions and shows us how to drop them, one at a time. I think you would find him very interesting.
Awareness is the key, he says.
Writing and reading here is a great way to heighten our awareness and bring clarity to our thoughts and find reasons for our actions.
There was a time when we never thought of gambling. Then the time came when it became the foremost thought for us! What happened to bring about that change? Food for thought!
Come to some of the Live Chat Groups, Killingit and maybe we can tease out some of those topics instead of wasting our precious time and money chasing the wind!
When I have a toothache it overwhelms me. When I don’t have a toothache, I forget I have teeth!!!
I think we need to look gambling in the eye. SEE it for what it really is. Cut our losses and walk away FOREVER, one day at a time!It’s not like you to be feeling “down”, Lizbeth! Always so upbeat! Maybe it’s tiredness or loneliness?
Gambling won’t cure it! We both know that! Having your trip to the city to look forward to is a bonus. Hang in Lizbeth. I will keep you in my prayers!I hate when that happens Kpat! Like losing something special!
I have posted some of my heartfelt words to cyber space in the past….I wonder what does in fact happen to them? Do they turn up anywhere?
I hope your recovery is progressing odaat!Shoulder operation sounds painful, Bonkers! Thank God you got over it fast!
Moving to live near the sea used to be my dream
That was when my comfort zone was the arcade/casino near that sea!
Five minutes on the beach. Fifteen hours in the slots!
You know the pitfalls, Bonkers!
Enjoy the seaside!
You are an inspiration!
Here’s to a G free future. Odaat!“If I were to be laid off tomorrow or next month , I would have a rough road ahead!”
These words that you wrote, hit me hard!
I am also a CG. I went back to work in 2004 after a long career break during which I reared my family. They grew up and I started gambling when my youngest was about ten or twelve years old .
Fast forward ten years…I had accumulated debt which I intended paying off by taking up my career again. I was blessed to walk back into a permanent job. I earned good money . We were experiencing a thriving boom in Ireland. The “Celtic Tiger” was bestowing loans on anyone working in a well paid job! I was on a roll! Not only could I “enjoy” spending my salary (the debt could wait) but I now had great “borrowing power”.
Long story short, The Celtic Tiger began to eat her cubs. I lost 4 years salary. Along with all I borrowed. The Recession had hit Ireland. “NO MORE LOANS” was the new motto for the banks. Public servants were “raped and plundered” by the Government to redeem what our Clever Bankers had gambled (yes, gambled) and by then I was in the deepest sh %* I could ever imagine. Half of my salary went on new taxes, levies, universal charges etc , a huge % went on debt repayment (it will take 4 MORE years)and to top it all off, my health became affected……
Moral of the story?
CIRCUMSTANCES CAN CHANGE!
Grab this chance at recovery, WC while you are in a strong position!
I’m sorry now that I dilly dallied for so long!
Al we have is NOW
Today!
Today, I did not gamble!
Who knows what tomorrow will bring!
Welcome to GT!Glad to see you are “starting again” Kpat!
Every CG starts again every day , whether we gamble or not!
Life is all about picking up the pieces and starting over.
Nothing is perfect!
Planning in advance is “my way” too. I usually dismiss the first urge but when I give it a second thought it develops into a craving which takes a bit of planning to satisfy!
That’s why having no money is good. It puts space between the thought and the action.
Ask yourself “Where did the money to gamble come from?”A CG will ALWAYS get money if he/she wants to gamble Jen!
It’s like we need it for Life Support!
Maybe paying bills/debts immediately might help. Or telling your Bank you have a Gambling problem. I did that in 2008. Faced the Bank Manager and told her the lot! Not easy but it meant no more Credit from that Bank for me! It also affected my Credit Rating I think because I was turned down for Credit Card increases a few times when I tried with a different company It did not influence the Local Credit Union however. I already had a huge loan there. I just repay it like a zombie every month and will continue to do so for 4 more years! My husband got a Car Loan during the Summer. Less than he expected because of MY C U loan, so it does have a knock on effect.
Can you get anyone to handle your money? Or put two signatures on your account? I will be transferring a small amount of money to a different account shortly. I intend putting two signatures on that new account to prevent me gambling the lot. I cannot gain access to it at present.
That’s my experience Maybe others will be of further help!
The best barrier is having NO ACCESS to money The times I succeed in not gambling are the times I have very limited funds. Like now! Im glad of that!This time last year you were watching Downton Abbey Series 4, Carole.
Just wondering did you get Series 5 this year?
It’s a healthy escape from reality!
Beats gambling!!