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Not only have I talked to myself while I was gambling BU but I talked to God, my dead ancestors, the guys watching on camera, you name it! And I answered myself and heard voices answering me too!!
That’s because CGism is a delusion!
and
CGs don’t listen (eh, Charles?!)
Only when the pain of gambling becomes greater than the pain that drove us there in the first place, will a CG stop.
Feel your pain, BU! I’m feeling mine too! It’s REAL!Morals and Money are bad bedfellows BU!
I know how sick you feel right now. Personal disgust is the worst type of torture.I am computer illiterate . I just learned the simplest methods to do what I need to do i.e learned which buttons to press. I have no computer language. I managed to download a blocker called Betfilter. No idea which filter is best to stop a CG gambling but that’s a separate issue. I got a free trial When the time ran out I got another free trial I suppose the providers will cop on to this eventually but for now it works. I tried to log on to several G sites out of curiosity and I was prevented from doing so. Anything that delays action is good. Luckily I can’t do technical evaluations or turnabouts but given time , if I got desperate enough to gamble, no doubt I would learn.We can only make a wild guess at the millions of $€£ that were poured into the setting up of Online Gambling Sites. The psychology underlying the payment system is so simple yet so clever. Whoever devised it knows the mind of a CG inside out! They lure us in, give a bonus/promotion/reward, allow us to build up our fund then hang us out to dry. Leaving the “bait” available in cyber space until we are gasping , with our tongues hanging out for more. The fear of not being paid, coupled with the anticipation of winning more draws a CG back before we lay our hands on the perverse “reward”. It seems so easy to repeat the “win”by reversing the pending withdrawal. The planners play on two traits that are common among CGs. Avarice and Impatience! And they get it right every time. A CG never wins!
Well done on coming back to scramble for damage control BU!
This is one sick business!What a brilliant post , Fritz!
Just what I needed to read right now. I’m sitting up in bed. Almost two am. The tightness in my chest is unreal. I’m sucking an Aspirin, fearing the worst . Trying to focus . Clammy and waiting for the Heavy Hand to drop! Saying My Act of Contrition even!
And ALL BECAUSE OF A RECENTSEVERE GAMBLING LOSS!
Fear is at the root of it for sure.
The opposite to Fear is not Courage
It is Love . I learned that years ago
“Perfect Love casts out all fear”!
Let’s commence by loving our selves.
Let’s cut out the self-destruction.
Gambling has me destroyed.
I quit!
I’ll try the deep breathing now!
Thanks Fritz! You were a godsend just now.Interesting Link, Maverick!
Every “thrill” brings a hangover, Charlster!
If you are so inclined, have a listen to Anthony de Mello’s Wake up to Life Conference. I bought the CDs years ago but you can get if online for free these days, I would say. It’s a mixture of the teachings of World’s Greatest Religions. The speaker was a Jesuit priest and a psychotherapist. He debunks a lot of the conditioning we have been bombarded with all our lives and his delivery is laced with humour and wisdom. A great listen from an entertaining communicator! Give it a try! I found it enlightening!
For me NOTHING replaces the buzz gambling gave but we can learn to live without it!“……only cost him £7 to win £500 eh, Adam?
Yea, right!!!
I have often sat beside players in casinos. Watched them stuff fifty after fifty euro notes into slot machines up to 6, 7, 8 hundred…then “win” a few hundred and shout out “hooray”
Who are they fooling?
Whom did I fool?
Myself, mainly!
Most of these Big Shots are CGs in denial. I was ! We love to flash a wad of notes under the noses of other players for attention/to make ourselves feel important/rich/trendy. Who knows?
I haven’t seen too many of them flashing Bank Statements, Maxed out Credit Cards, Overdue Bills, Threatening letters/Payday Loan slips etc
HAVE YOU?
Most CGs are BLUFFERS, Adam.
And I place myself in the top category!!Very descriptive, Th.End!
Time to rise again!Very descriptive, Th.End!
Time to rise again!That Team was a godsend Lizbeth
You were looking for new friends and groups to join. Being united in a common charity forms lasting bonds because most people on your team will be there for the same reason as you. To keep the memory of Loved Ones alive!
The Lord moves in strange ways!!
Very well done on your magnanimous strides in recovery Liz!
Long live LOVE!!!What a shock you’ve had , Charlster! Exactly what a CG in early recovery and with underlying anxiety does not need! Could you ask the police to get some assistance to de-brief with a counsellor? You really could do with a bit of “hurdle help” here!
There are two “positives” though , if such a word would be appropriate at this time.
1. You weren’t alone when that man’s body was found (RIP)
2. You didn’t find him two weeks ago, when you were still “licking very raw wounds”.
Don’t let this set you back Charlster. Easier said than done I know.
On a slightly different note, I have become wary of counting days…I counted approx 390 in succession and exploded like a volcano. Maybe it works for some but I won’t be doing that again. It magnified gambling for me and gave it power over me that it really doesn’t have! I gave my power away by counting G free days. No judgement or criticism. Just sharing my experience.
Explosions create a hell of a lot of toxic debris!
And YES, I too gambled to escape but it was all done under the guise of fun/enjoyment/entertainment which all ended in bitter tears!
Over and out!Maverick, you ARE making progress!
That was a great post you wrote on Mark’s thread.
We may be”up shit creak” but we still have the paddle! We just need to ROW the lifeboat!
Or as KenL said
“Just because we are on the refuse truck, doesn’t mean we need to go all the way to dump”….or words to that effect!
I agree, that the more we gamble, the worse we will feel and the more we punish/torture ourselves. We begin to believe this is all we deserve..
more stinkin’ thinkin’!
We need to change our mindset.
We can do it Maverick
Remember,
God is good!
Never give up hope!Making gambling an impossibility is the ONLY way for now JD!
Well done!I feel saddened, Maverick and a little taken aback that you gambled over the weekend , knowing all the chaos that gambling has created in your life. Maybe, you are throwing caution to the wind at this point?
Of course I’m not judging you, or your actions. I am the very last/least person who is in a position to judge any other CG!
The well known passage from St Matthew’s Gospel comes to mind, where Judas Iscariot betrayed his Master for thirty pieces of silver.
Sadly, Maverick betrayed HIMSELF for a thousand pieces of filthy lucre which will bring no joy….
Your posts are amazing, Mav. I read them every day but have not been in a position to post.
Have you applied for Gordon House residential therapy?CGs N E V E R win, Maverick.
If we did we would be in Bermuda on a private yacht living the life that casino owners live, not wallowing in our present misery and counting pennies.
Keep postponing the next bet! You won’t regret it.
Remember, we all have “another bet” in us but not all will have another “Recovery”!