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Well done on self excluding Lauren.
You are a swift learner.
It took me much much longer before I banned myself from my favourite land based haunts.
When I first came here in 2008 there was a lady called Linnie (Hi Linnie if you’re still around!) who haunted me, kept pestering me to self exclude. I can still recall the posts she wrote to me but I would literally cover my ears…..I didn’t want to hear! Then one night I was sitting in a casino at closing time. It was December 8th @01:30hrs. I had €34 left in credits out of €600 and I was exhausted from playing the same machine for 13hrs without a break. Like a dog chasing its tail! I suddenly realized they were calling Time Up. I had been in a trance for hours. I jumped up, pressed “collect” and joined the long queue of “winners”, all congratulating each other on their “luck”! When my turn came to collect the “crumbs from the rich man’s table” I told the woman behind the desk (She knew me well) that I wanted to “ban myself” . There is no Self Exclusion Policy in Ireland but I made a “contract” with her and never set my foot in that or its two “sister” casinos since.
Pride is really what kept me away. I would never lose face by being refused entry or being asked to leave!
Self Exclusion is really A Mental Exclusion, Lauren. You will learn (after your initial relief and jubilation) that you will gradually be presented with new opportunities to gamble. After 14 months I returned to the “scene of the crime” in several new hellholes and everything began to go downhill again. Fast forward to March 2015,- having lost enormous sums and creating huge debt and serious health issues, and being forced to take early retirement on ill health grounds and securing a decent Lump Sum which I swore I would never use to gamble- I discovered online gambling and in less than a week my Retirement Fund was cleaned out. I think I will never recover from the shock. Two and a half months later, I still check my accounts online to see if it was all a terrible dream. Sadly , it is true!
Immediately, by the grace of God, I took action and my Online Gambling came to a sudden end! Its over now but it almost killed me!
Didn’t mean to whinge on your thread Lauren, and I congratulate you warmly for having the courage to take action and I think it is wonderful that you self excluded, just be warned that” just because the monkey has jumped off your shoulder, the circus still hasn’t left town”!
Its great that you are going to GMA.
Stay focused.
Keep posting.Jenna, you are still in shock and it seems all the worse case scenarios are playing havoc with your mind. It is overwhelming when we suddenly come to our senses and begin to scramble for damage control. I would suggest you separate the things yo CAN control from the things you can’t. Take a sheet of paper. Draw a line down the centre and write a few bullet points. It will help to put your thoughts outside you and also you can use it to gauge your progress.
Your priority , Jenna is to keep your compensation payment secure. I would suggest putting it into a joint account in your mum’s name your yours. Otherwise it will vanish.
Jenna, in you present state of mind you are bound to be fearful for your future. These feelings will pass. Lots of people here have overcome huge financial loss, restored broken relationships, started new jobs, dealt with health issues etc etc.
One day at a time is the only way we can combat our demons. If we try to defeat them all at once we haven’t a hope.
Would you consider going for a few counselling sessions with an addiction counsellor to reveal to yourself why you gambled ?
I knew we all say we started for fun etc etc but there are always deeper issues underlying behaviours such as gambling.
Maybe you need to deal with those issues now to empower you for Life’s future events.
Unfortunately our “weaknesses” can become the “crutches” we fall back on when we are faced with challenges. Knowing those weaknesses now will be your trump card later on in life.
Awareness is the key to recovery.
Slow down. It’s early days. Things WILL improve. A few weeks will make a huge difference. Try to have hope and confidence. Never give up!
You are not alone.Glad to hear your Blood results/ tests are within the normal range, Charlster. We worry about things that sometimes never happen and when we least expect it everything can go bellyup!
Health is wealth, I do believe
and
Life is sweet!
Bet you’re packing your case neatly!Lauren,
why don’t you Self Exclude now, when you’re broke?
Before your salary hits your bank account.
After I was totally cleaned out, I emailed the Site, I now call “HELL” in my memory and they were very courteous. They offered me a choice of bonuses over a three day period to “try my luck again” or Exclusion offers. I opted for the latter. I self excluded FOR LIFE!.
You KNOW you will never withdraw money no matter how many wins you get.
You KNOW you will never really win because you are a CG.
You KNOW it’s all a hoax.
So why waste another minute of your precious time torturing yourself and throwing away your hard earned money!
It’s all one big illusion.
Every word I write to you, I also address to myself.
‘Nuff said!
We have given the fatcats ENOUGH!Great to read about a normal family day out kPat.
Looking back I can’t recall too many days like that with my family. It was usually just me,with them while hubby worked round the clock to provide for us. If I had my way all over again, I would do things differently.
I laughed when I read about Goofy and your husband. Maybe you should have got him to “trottle” your son while he was at it and whisper a few sweet nothings in his ear!!
Did he own up to taking out your car?
I don’t mean to be too hard on him. I have two boys and a daughter. My youngest son was a very disobedient child. He was always strong willed (like me) and when he was corrected for doing one thing, he would stop and do something worse. I used every tactic possible. Mostly I gave him a “second chance” (about a hundred times!) In hindsight, I was rewarding atrocious behaviour a lot of the time. If he had been taken in hand earlier he might have changed . He has good points and great intentions but I seldom see him now. He never settled down as far as I can tell. I know when he does come to his senses he will outshine the lot! I will never give up hope and I just pray every day that he will come back to the right road to Salvation before it’s too late.
You know it says in the Good Book that parents should discipline their children. I also know some need the gentle touch and others need tough love. Difficult to get the balance right. I made many mistakes.
I see a lot of indiscipline around me and we all know where that leads us.
Gambling will solve none of our woes kPat. We both know that.Jenna, I am not advocating secrecy. Just prudence.
As time progresses and you feel less vulnerable, maybe you could broach the topic of gambling and mention it is one thing you need to avoid.
Be careful about confiding in friends.
Some people love passing on news!
You certainly don’t want your boyfriend to hear this on the grapevine.
If he ever mentions gambling, come clean immediately.
One lie will lead to another.
You will know when the time is right to tell him.
In the meantime, make sure you protect yourself. You can’t turn back the clock, but you can rewind it. You are blessed to have your whole life ahead.
Make it a G- free Life.
The Gambling Life is not worth living!
Well done on seeking help!It takes time, Jenna. Recovery does not come with a Magic Wand.
Well done on installing the blocker.
Having no money in your current account will help too and you can self exclude from all those sites. A Lifetime Ban will be easy to do. Better to stop NOW before you give the fatcats any more of your money.
As for telling your “fella”, my suggestion would be to hold off. If he does a runner you might find yourself turning to the “Old Flame” for solace!
Play your cards close to your chest until he gets to know the real you!
Why sell yourself short?Wondered where you had got to SJ!
I ‘m glad to hear your depression is lifting.
Don’t think any of us will ever be 100%
Just doing your best will be enough!That was an ordeal for you Maverick and an anti climax to say the least. After all the build up , you must have been taken aback when you were told the programme wasn’t suitable for you. What a pity they can’t do the assessment prior to “admission”. It would have saved you some stress. Anyway, I’m sure they have set protocols in GMA that they need to follow even if it causes some frustration for clients who don’t meet the criteria.
You didn’t fail in any way. You tried your best. You are still trying. Well done on planning to get back to GA. You are a true gentleman, Maverick!
Nothing ventured, nothing gained!I hate when things like that happen Charlster. Makes me feel like a worm.
A blow to the Pride! Also maddening that people are sitting around in offices and not doing their job.
Waiting is hard.Hope your mom appreciates all you and your family are doing for her Lizbeth. It seems from what you write that she will never change. I still suspect there is some sort of dementia going on albeit that she was always an awkward personality. I was surprised that they didn’t carry out some scans while she was in hospital, but I suppose they were concentrating on her physical recovery. I think you need to be very firm with her and tell her you cannot look after her unless she curbs her tongue. I know you want the best for her but you need to consider your own needs too. If the thought of looking after her is so stressful that it is giving you urges to gamble you really need to put some home care plan in place with her medical /nursing team as kPat mentioned. Don’t wait until you are spun out Lizbeth. If your health is affected lots of things will come to a halt.
Thank you for your advice on my thread. I really have no experience with Insurance claims. Thankfully this is my first time to have to deal with a claim. I had an email from my Insurance firm today, saying the Other Party has accepted full liability for repair to my car (It seems it can be repaired. At first they said it could be written off) . I think from what you said I will have to engage a lawyer to look after the medical expenses. I need to see a physiotherapist ASAP according to my GP. The immediate problem is I don’t have any available funds upfront. My husband would pay but I hate having to ask him. He knows now that I’m broke as a result of gambling but pride prevents me from begging from him. I would prefer to suffer for ever than see him paying but if I could be sure of an Insurance refund I could go ahead and accept his help. I tend to convince myself that physical symptoms will go away if I ignore them. Hubby tends to sweep things under the carpet too, and tells me to life is not a bed of roses and to accept that people my age get aches and pains!!! Very consoling!!!! I feel like screaming at him. I am screaming at him but It’s only hurting my neck more and more!You really have come to grips with you addiction in one foul swoop Gov. I’m very happy for you. Some of us are slow learners! Personally, I kept on and on trying to get the better of the slot machines until I ended up exhausted and I now admit defeat.
Sadly, it cost me more than I ever bargained for.
When we inflict pain on ourselves it becomes like torture . When the suffering becomes too much, we eventually call a halt.
I am glad you stopped before you reached that point.
Best wishes in recovery
One day at a time!WOW!
Fingers xed JD!
Brilliant!I agree with a lot of that Happy,
but remember
The truth hurts but a lie shames!
If other people have problems with honesty, it’s their problem not yours!
Liars need a good memory!
I always say we need to exercise prudence before we decide who to open up to!
No point in shooting yourself in the foot!Great minds think alike they say, kPat!
Ican’s name just flashed through my mind as I was posting on another thread.
Ican! How does it feel to have two friends thinking of you at one time?
I’m scared to write too much cos I got a rollickin’ a while back for “posting like a mad woman, getting well worked up and going into hyperdrive” on your thread!
Sorry about that. I didn’t realize at the time!
Hope you’re keeping well.