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Glad to hear your leave of absence was approved, SJ. Is that the same as “sick leave”? I thought they were different. I suppose it varies from country to country. So long as you see it as positive, that’s all that matters.
How are things Geordie?
Just wondering what was the upshot of that incident with your co-worker?Looking back can be painful Fritz. Looking forward can be scary . Even looking around us highlights the mess we have created. Like you I need someone to nudge me into doing something that I CAN do instead of dwelling on what I should have or could have done. Here goes! I will start with clearing my immediate space…Not gambling has to have benefits, Fritz. Sometimes we just fail to see them.
How are you feeling today, Jenna?
Gambling again, after we resolve not to is very disappointing. I makes us lose self trust and even lose hope.
I have been there many , many times. It’s awful!
You have two choices now.
Wallow
or
Lick your wounds and move on
Hope you enjoy the chinese meal with your boyfriend and friends tonight.
Can you pin point where you were when you gambled and ask yourself if there was anything that could have prevented your “slip”?
I know when I gamble I always plan it in advance.Why not give yourself three sessions with that male counsellor before you decide to switch to a female, Liberty?
That way, it will mean you are not giving into the anxiety like we gave into the gambling urge so often
“Receive your demons”!
I know what it’s like Liberty. I’ve been pushing myself for years.
The ONLY thing I can do with ease is walk into a casino and gamble my life away.
Strange, isn’t it since that action increases anxiety a hundred fold in the long run.Wishing you a Happy Birthday, Ican!
Hope you have a lovely day.
Great News about the new job.
Be careful to secure your salary before it disappears!Great to hear you used your salary for non gambling purposes, Lauren. Hard to believe we went through so much money when we gambled and still managed to pay bills and debts! Don’t know how we did it! It creates a lot of stress when we have to “rob Peter to pay Paul”. It sure cancels out the buzz gambling gives us when we think of the hangover it brings.
I know the feeling of contentment when you have paid up everything for the month, filled the freezer and have no money left to gamble with. The temptation diminishes when we know it can’t be fulfilled. Being in the overdraft reminds us that we are not free to gamble. When I was cleaned out online I also faced over limit bank charges due to some sinister method the Gambling Site used to make withdrawals vanish and then reappear in my bank account. I won’t dwell on it now, but revisiting my bank statements online shows me the reality of gambling, Lauren. Can you look back on yours when you feel you are missing the “buzz” to refresh your memory of what gambling is really all about?
That gambling friend of yours makes me feel uneasy. I would give her a VERY wide berth. I like the sound of your ex boyfriend, however. I think I would turn up at his graduation, dolled up to the nines as a token of gratitude for his help in attaining your Masters. Congrats on that achievement! I regret not doing further studies when I still had a sharp mind. Another thing gambling stole from me.
Time to focus on NOW and leave the past behind.
Would you be entitled to a back to education grant? Look into it. There is no reason why you can’t do a doctorate or a PHD. Why not, now that you have stopped gambling FOR LIFE!!I think it is normal to feel apprehensive when we are asked to leave our Comfort Zone, Charlster.
Stripping your life bare and hoping for a good outcome is not an easy thing to do. It took a lot of courage, trust and hope on your part to get to where you are today. I think most CGs feel shaky and nervous when we discard the gambling crutch. It is like Rip van Winkle wakening from a hundred year sleep and seeing Life all over again.
The only alternative for you would be to throw in the towel Charlster and after all your intense preparation, that would be totally futile. Just try to fix your mind on today only. One hour at a time. None of us can tell what the future holds but knowing you have set your feet in the right direction means there is no turning back now. Everybody here will be rooting/praying for you Charlster. My guess is you’ll be a future facilitator on GT.
I will tell you a story (just to add to your fear!!) I remember packing a case for my son to go on a summer camp when he was 8 years old, A clean rig out for every day rom the skin out. Everything matching. He was rigidly counting the pairs of socks to make sure he had enough for every day…Long story short , on his arrival, the older boys shook the contents of his case into a swamp and pushed him in after it. I don’t know how the child every recovered from such a dreadful ordeal but to this day it breaks my heart to think I sent him away thinking he would be safe!
Lock your case and keep you key hidden Charlster!!!Good to hear you are feeling more upbeat, Happy.
I agree that being “honest”with everyone may not always be the best idea. It may not be honesty at all. I know I often told people I shouldn’t have told. There is a fine line between honesty and prudence.
Any idea why you would want to “gamble and risk it all”?VERY stressful Lorraine.
You will have to come clean and say YOU are the culprit not your son.
Again, one for the Legal Eagles, methinks!
Gambling is a serious disorder. So many people are ignorant of the real consequences.
Has your son spoken to you about the email? Keep communication open with him. Lorraine. There HAS to be a solution. You are not the first to use other’s bank cards to gamble and you won’t be the last.
Come clean.
Truth always wins in the end.I can understand your fear for your mother’s Retirement Fund, kPat.
Sadly. if she dips into it, it won’t last a year as you predicted. It will be gone much sooner than that!
It sounds to me that you should set up a Family Intervention. Neither your father nor your mother can save themselves. Can you approach the Financial Agency and put a stay on those funds? Get legal advice before it’s too late kPat!
Pray as it everything depends on God and act as if everything depends on you.
Otherwise it will all end in tears!“What will happen then, I wonder?” you asked, Andrea. Then you answered your own question by mentioning that you lost your salary to the Site last month.
What will have changed on that Site this month? Or next month or next year?
Very little as far as a CG is concerned, because even if we do see through their coercive bribes and free spins and bonuses, we still dip into our own money as soon as the bonus runs out. The Planners of these Sites know us better than we know ourselves, Andrea. They have the game studied to a fine art. They are not running a Charity. They are out for your last shilling and if they take your soul along with it, do you think they will care two hoots? No! , when you and I are on skid row, some other unfortunate victim will cough up. The truth is There are NO FREE BEES in this game and a CG NEVER WINS!!
Nice of your B/F to feed you Andrea but to be honest I wouldn’t allow him to bail me out if I were in your shoes.
Keep your Pride and your Dignity . CGs give a lot away and we find it harder to regain these valuables than to restore lost money. There are other ways to resolve debt. In vulnerable moments it can be difficult to discern the difference between help and enablement.
I’m not judging you at all Andrea. It’s just that I’ve been up a few blind alleys and found myself compromised as a result.
Send an e mail to the Gambling Site saying you want to self exclude. They are bound under law to respond.
Do it before the salary hits your account then you will be FREE as a bird.
Empty your car. Hoover it thoroughly. Get a bowl of hot water and a strong cloth and give every bit of it a scrub. Then spray it with air freshner and you will save 50 qud.
They call it “valeting”!!Micky, I’m sorry the counselling didn’t work out . It is VERY important that we meet the right person before we start. I went for counselling last year. I liked the idea of going but the reality was very different. Although Charles told me it didn’t work because of my dishonesty, I can HONESTLY say in hindsight it didn’t work because the counsellor was past her sell by date, she knew NOTHING about gambling. Didnt even realise that there were casinos in Ireland. (Every town is dotted with them.) And really hadn’t much interest in addiction in general. I pointed out that there was a casino with huge neon sites around the corner from her “office”. After six weeks, she still hadnt noticed. That indicated to me that she wasnt all that interested. She kept falling asleep when I was answering the questions she put to me. The good part of it was I had a few work issues at the time and realizing that “Addiction” was not her forte, I tested her on the other matter and she gave me a lot of help. She also learned a lot about gambling and I think she enjoyed the sessions even though she found me a bit outrageous at times. She also offered my sons or husband six free sessions each . They all declined . So much for Family support. The sessions cost 70 euro for 55 mins I had to drive a two hour return journey so have plenty free time to visit the casino on the way home and say I got delayed ! Those “free”sessions, if I am to be totally honest cost me approx 8 grand.
The moral of the story is get a counsellor who suits you and knows about addiction.
If I had been an alcoholic she would have driven me to both drink and gambling.
Of course I should have kept all the golden rules. Not carried cash/cards/ told her what I felt etc etc but I will put it down to experience! Another gamble! Some we win some we lose.
Just a thought Micky , would you ever consider doing “time” in GMA?
I can tell you I have never met a GP who knows anything about gambling.Sometimes we do have to turn the other cheek, Seri.
And sometimes we don’t!!
Saving your job at the expense of your dignity may not be the best thing in the long run.
Can you get further help?Jenna, I would recommend tonight’s Group to you. Look up the times. I think its at 8pm
The facilitator is a counsellor.
See you there.